I’m feeling a bit ashamed right now because I always just thought of my blog as mine. I always thought of it as a place I went to share, vent, or discuss with other moms. Over the years I have told plenty of stories about my kids, asked for parenting advice, and sometimes even complained about these little beings. I did this because they are mine and this is my space.
However something happened the other day to make me rethink this theory and offer a big apology to my coming-of-age son and my aspiring-tween daughter. My blog is not the same as having a giggle with a few pals at Starbucks – it is public. It is out there for anyone with internet access to see. And although I have always been conscious of protecting their privacy I have not modified these boundaries since I started blogging nearly 5 years ago when my kids were 2 and 5. A lot has changed since then but it never occurred to me to change how I spoke about them or what information I shared. Shame on me.
It took my 10-year-old, who reads my blog regularly, to confront me with the fact that I shouldn’t discuss certain things and that I need to “respect” (yup, his words) him and his sister by asking their permission to share stories or pictures. As he said “I don’t tell people about your private stuff, like the crazy diet you’re on or when you get really mad or stuff like that”. Ugh. He’s right. Even if he did tell his pals he certainly doesn’t write about it on the internet without my consent or input. Shame. On. Me!
So, all of this is to say that we have turned a corner here. The commitment I made to my kids is as follows: I will share whatever I like about myself and all things related to me but I will ask their permission before sharing information, stories or complaints (ouch) about them and all photos must be given the thumbs up too.
I am a bit embarrassed to admit that I have completely overlooked this issue. I am sending a big fat SORRY out to my kids. I guess sometimes mommies need to be reminded that their kids are growing up.
Just recently I raised the conversation with some soccer moms about puberty and kids. My daughter was also with me and proceeded to tell me in the car going home that night, “to refrain from having a laugh at their expense. Don;t you remember how awkward it was when you were a kid?” Yikes – enough said. The respect censor is on heightened alert!
I find that as parents we tend to do this in all areas, not just on blogs. I know my kids often ask me not to talk about them on the phone (btw they also say things like “don’t put that on the internet!”) I think it’s partly because we still see them in a way as our babies, free to brag/complain as we see fit 🙂
But it’s good that they’re able to set those boundaries for us when necessary. There comes a time when they aren’t our stories anymore.
Wow. What a grown up guy. It also says a lot about your parenting that he feels he can say these things and you will respect them (and even that he thinks these things!). What a sweetheart.