I’m sitting in the basement typing and my kids are upstairs playing quietly – for the moment. It’s been approximately 15 minutes and no one is crying. Nothing has crashed or broken, and all seems calm. Wow. What a journey it has been to get to this place. My kids are 19 months apart in age, and now, at their respective ages of 4 and 2.5, they have finally settled into a similar routine where they enjoy many of the same TV shows, foods and friends.
When I first found out I was pregnant with my second child (my daughter), I was still nursing my 9 month-old son, and couldn’t fathom how I was going to look after two children under the age of two. My fears were justified. That first year with both of them whizzed by in a blur; in fact, there are many parts of it that, regrettfully, I can’t even remember. I don’t recall the first time my daughter sat, stood, crawled or walked. I don’t remember her first words or her first day of eating solids. This sadness at my inability to remember her many "firsts" is tempered, however, by my joy in seeing the friendship between my children.
The challenges of those first years have been firmly tucked away in the inner recesses of my brain (those same deep cavities that hold my memories of pregnancy, labour and delivery). The reality now is that each of my kids has a kindred playmate at their side at all times. They have private jokes (that usually revolve various aspects of potty humour), their own dispute resolution mechanisms ("I hit you because you touched my truck." "It’s okay, I’m not mad at you anymore. Want my juice?"), and their own shared imaginary destinations and friends.
As a baby, my daughter woke from her crib and immediately cried out for me. Now, she awakes yelling for her brother; he, in turn, waits patiently for her call and runs in to see his baby sister and reunite with her after a night spent apart. Their close bond touches me daily and makes those early months seem like a small price to pay for these priceless benefits of the heart. There are, of course, many arguments – big, hair-pulling, red-faced, screaming ones too – but there are also lots of hugs, kisses, giggles and knowing glances.
What a touching vignette. Nothing warms a mother’s heart more than seeing her children loving each other. And nothing pisses her off more than hearing them bicker! I used to wonder why my mother cared if I was arguing with my sisters…I mean, how did it involve her??? Now I TOTALLY understand!!!
You and your children are so lucky Amreen. I don’t think there is any stronger bond in the world than a strong tie between siblings. I hope they’ll always be such good friends.
every day i see happiness and love and sharing and helping along with screeching crying hitting and yelling.
I love it, Amreen! Being the middle of three girls very close in age and a mom to 2 I cherish the bond of siblings beyond anything else. I tested out every social behaviour on my sisters and they still love me! They are my best pals. I now see this with my kids. Today is a PA Day but my daughter has school. My son was so excited to have me to himself! But then, while running some errands, we were in the bank and they were having a party with cake and balloons. The first words out of my son’s mouth were that he wished his sister was there with him! Not one of his pals but his sis. Love it.