Hi Gorgeouses!
Welcome to Pukapalooza Gossip, 2007! On the menu: The perfect butt, Jess ‘n John come out, Hot Daddy Dempsey, ANOTHER Mischa moment, Christina Aguilera and hubby post Grammys, a gorj Nicole Ritchie, AMERICAN IDOL POLL, and more, more, MORE!!!
Why "Pukapalooza"? Because the monkey’s been puking up a stooooooooorrrrrrmmmmmm aaaaaarrrrrrggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!
check it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
JOHN MAYER FINALLY OPENS UP ABOUT HIS FEELINGS FOR JESS
Here’s what a smug John Mayer told E!’s Ryan Seacrest about his lovah Jessica Simpson: "She is very beautiful, and you’ll be the last to know." In Japanese. He said this in Japanese. How obnoxious is that. Like we care.
FYI, when later questioned about his daughter’s new love, Joe Simpson actually kept his trap shut: "I’m answering in the father’s language, which is ‘No comment.’" I say, "Pssh, whatevs." This is no big mystery anymore. They’re together. And, of course, she’s beautiful. Good luck to you both. Moving on.
(Above: John and Jess at the Sony BMG party.)
Photo and scoop, with thanks, c/o US.
PATRICK DEMPSEY MAKES ONE HOT NEW DADDY!
Oooo, baby! Nothing like a hottie doing the grocery shopping. LOVES IT!
Photo, with thanks, c/o X17 Online.
GREATEST BUTT ON EARTH (YOURS NOT INCLUDED)
UnFREAKINGbelievable. I’ll be taking this photo to the gym with me from now on thank-you-very-much!
Photo, with thanks, c/o Splash News Online.
ANOTHER MISCHA MOMENT
What’s WRONG with her!? Put those legs away already. Don’t even get me started on the boots, the frock or whatever. She has GOT to be doing this on purpose.
Photos, with thanks, c/o Splash News Online.
CHRISTINA AGUILERA AND JORDAN BRATMAN AT THE PEOPLE POST-GRAMMYS PARTY
Okay. Let’s face it already. He’s really not the most attractive guy…. But, he seems nice enough. He’s better than Marc Anthony. And, she seems very happy.
Photo, with thanks, c/o Splash News Online.
NICOLE RITCHIE LOOKS GORJ THESE DAYS!
Here’s Nicole out on the town with Madden. I’m sure you’re not missing the pic of Madden. I can always do without it. Anyway, Nic looks FAB! Healthy. Chic. Gorj.
Photo, with thanks, c/o X17 Online.
IT’S SUNDAY NIGHT — GET OUT THAT BIKINI!
Yes. That’s Britney out on the town. She didn’t like what she was wearing, and she LOVED the go-go dancers’ costumes — particularly the fishnets. So, what did she do? She changed out of her red dress and into a dancer’s bikini. Like, Wha!?! She’s insane. She left the club in bikini and fishnets. Okaayyyy!
J HUD GRACES THE COVER OF VOGUE
Not the most flattering photo — wide open mouth and all. But, the girl is GORJ. Lights up the page. LOVE HER! Here are some more pics from the shoot:
AMERICAN IDOL POLL (SO I CAN SEE IF YOU WANT ME TO TALK ABOUT IT HERE OR NOT…!)
So, the monkey’s been really under the weather. Well, she’s been in a great mood, but, every so often, BLWAH!, she vomits. In the most inopportune places and worst of times, of course. Needless to say, I’m a lot tired. Listening to my monkey dry heave all night is not my idea of a good night’s sleep. No way. Pray with me that tonight will be better! Please…..
Talk to me in the comments! Don’t be shy! I love to hear from you. Seriously, LOVES IT!
Minden (my awesome research assistant) says hi….
Want more Cheaty? Check it — at The Cheaty Monkey.
I’ve actually seen the Dixie Chicks in concert, like their music. What I DON’T like is ANYONE going to another country, after the tragedy that was 9-11, and dissing the leader of the country they live in – one of the best countries in the WORLD. Talk to friends, talk to family, start a blog…but don’t say it on stage in front of people that live in a country that SUPPORTS us while we have servicemen/women in the middle of the worst thing I could imagine my son/daughter/me being in. That’s just my opinion.
ALI — I know…CAN YOU BELIEVE!? This is, like, unprecedented.
TUGGY not liking the Dixie Chicks? I did think it was annoying that they were making their winnings all about their notorious struggle instead of about the music. They went through a lot, but I felt they were bitter — vs. gracious.
GAB — his head is ginormous, indeed! But, I think Jess’s is pretty small, making his look even bigger. They’re the worst looking couple….
like everyone else has said, John Mayer’s head is GINORMOUS. I can’t stop looking at it.
Come to mamma Patrick…wow. What IS with John Mayer’s HEAD? Not a fan… Britney – GO.AWAY. I like Christina, glad she’s happy. Don’t even get me STARTED on the Dixie Chicks.
britney is all class…
JENN — I loved that the Dixie Chicks won all the awards. I think, regardless of “free speech” and rebeling against radio stations, the Chicks have a great album and they deserve that accolades! 🙂
JILL — Really? I can borrow Patrick for the night!? 😉 You definitely cracked me right up! 🙂 Mr. Bean is BANG ON! So true — J Hud’s got great collar bones!!! AND, BE NICE TO MINDEN! HE’S BRINGING YOU THE GOODS!
JEN — Brit making the kids proud — haha! too funny. She’s a total nutcase right now. So utterly lost. Someone HELP HER!!!
ALI — and Jess Simpson might just have the smallest head in the world….Nice match, they are!
LAV — Mischa does love those puke-type colours lately. Pukes and beiges…. Brit — world’s worst dressed mom — totally!!! I can’t help feeling sorry for her. Minden says “HIO” right back. Love that! so cute. 🙂 He loves the attention. Thanks….
hi haley,john mayers head looks huge next to jessicas.wow j.biel has a great butt!umm what is mischa wearing and where are her pants!?and um what colour is that sack she has on?christina looks happy and thats nice.nicoles still too skinnny but at least shes healthier looking.enough already britney YOU WIN the award for worlds worst dressed mother and oh did i forget my boys somewhere again?!jennifer h is so pretty.hio minden
john mayer has the biggest head in the world.
Huh? WTF is John Mayer trying to say?! Weird.
Ooooh Patrick…yum.
Jessica’s butt is unreal! No matter what I did I wouldn’t get that…genetics is a bitch.
Britney’s makin’ those kids proud again…ugh.
Love Jen H! Glad to see her do so well…hope it doesn’t go to her head like it seems to with everyone else.
Poor Monkey!! Hope she is feeling way better by now!! And how are you feeling, except the tireness??
John is huge!! Jessica is probably my height(but half my size, but don’t say it to anyone!!)He is huge!!! And need a haircut!!
The dinner that Patrick cook me was great!! Want me to share him for a night?? Don’t get him sick, please!!
Wow!! Could I get this effect with butt implant??(I don’t need some, but I’m slowly going in that way, tanx karate!!)
Mischa just keep getting worst. Didn’t she use to dress well?? Or at least figure flattering clothes?? At least she is smiling on that picture!!
Christina is gorgeous!Her husband look like Mr.BEan!!
Nicole has great legs now, but still has a lot to do with the arms, a little bit meat needed there!!!
I still have a not that bad body in a two-piece bathing suit!! Tanx Britney!!
Even if it’s not the best face, I adore that cover of J. Hudson!!! That girl is dead gorgeous and have a roking body!!Still amaze of her CollarBone!!
Minden is scaring me!!!
Hope I made you smile!! And help you feel better, and get over the tireness!! Happy Valentine’s DAy!!
Haley,
What did you think of the Dixie Chicks winning all the awards? I was surprised but of everything I’ve been reading it sounds like voters were able to rebel against radio stations.
Jenn