Be now warned – apparently, technology has advanced so very, very far that it is now possible to get pregnant by sitting in front of your computer screen. Or perhaps there’s only a risk if you perch your laptop on your lap. Whatever. The fact remains: YOU CAN GET PREGNANT FROM BLOGGING.
How else to explain the sudden rash of pregnancies among bloggers? Sperm must somehow be travelling from our husband’s testicles, up through their laptops, into the household networks, through the lady laptops and into our vaginas. (And? If you share a laptop with your husband or partner? YOU ARE PROBABLY PREGNANT RIGHT NOW.)
It seems that most of my American bloggy friends are pregnant right now – GingaJoy, for example, and Motherhood Uncensored, Mom-101, TB, Christina, Suburban Turmoil – in addition to quite a few Bloggy-Friends-That-I-Am-Just-Getting-To-Know. Fully half of the American mommyblogging community is, it seems, currently knocked-up.
But I consoled myself with the fact that this, um, epidemic hadn’t spread to Canada. Clearly, the CRTC had put signal blocks in place to prevent the Impregnator Techno-Virus from invading Canada.
I was wrong.
This morning, I wandered over to Lisa B’s blog, and discovered a cryptic message about nuchal translucency tests and Fatties and trimesters. Once I analyzed the code, I realized: THE VIRUS MAY BE HERE.
I panicked. If the epidemic had spread, perhaps it had gotten to me. Husband and I do plan on bringing another Tasmanian Devil lovely little baby into our lives, but I. AM. NOT. READY. (See stricken words in previous sentence and these posts for clarification.) Belatedly, I decided to protect myself, and to that end crossed my legs and placed a cookie sheet between my laptop and my lap (and the lady parts hidden therein.)
Then I went back to Lisa B’s place to look at the code more closely. There, I discovered that she – in a kind gesture to her confused readers – had appended a note clarifying that she is, in fact, not pregnant, and that the Fatty in question is one Fatty McFatterson Barfattso, who does not, to the best of my knowledge, visit blogs or keep a blog herself. So, it seems that, for the moment, we are safe.
Or are we?
If any of you out there have find yourselves pregnant in recent months, I need to know. We need to get the word out. Some of us need to protect ourselves from virtual-sexual-transmission accidents, and others will want to take advantage of this new (if possibly less fun) technique for getting pregnant. Also, we need to offer congratulations and follow your pregnancies closely so that we can observe in detail how the whole thing works (having blocked it, conveniently, from our own memories.)
So come on, ‘fess up: who out there is knocked up?
Catherine, this would be funny if it weren’t so SCARY. Have just started blogging in the past few weeks and now my 3 monsters are asking when I am going to have another baby (Jeremy wants another girl baby, so we can have 2 + 2 of each kind LOL, but has since decided it makes me FAT, gotta love the tact of a 5-year old). Then they all decided I can have another one when Miranda is at school (a few years off yet).
Good thing my hubby works away 3 weeks of a month LOL.
PS that is Dr McFatterson. Can non-biochemist mothers whip themselves into such a frenzy? Fatty and I know just enough to be dangerous.
LMFAO
Don’t you have to warn people when you do this stuff?
anyhoo I have been in close proximity with fatty so remove your fingers from the keyboards NOW ladies before its too late!
LOL! Not preggers! This reminds me of when I got pregnant along with 5 (probably more) other women at my workplace (including Ali!). Everyone was saying “Don’t drink the water! Don’t drink the water!” 😉 Great post!!!
I just put up a post that may explain how VERY oddly timed this post of yours was for me yesterday. Let’s just say I read it and became very, very afraid.
SS – I had no idea that you were trying! Maybe Kristen (MU) or Liz (Mom-101) could lend you their laptops… I’m CERTAIN that that’s how they got pregnant… 😉
I may have to move south in a bid to catch this blog transmitted pregnancy bug. Nothing else seems to work on my end … so if I could catch a blog pregnancy that would be superb!
You sure as hell ain’t gonna catch it from me!
While not preggers, I apparently have suffered a bout of the crazies. Signed up for a new baby the non-fun way. (But in the non-rich, I’ll-just-buy-my-kids-like-Angelina-and-Madonna way.)
And now that Fric and Frac are officially ten and nine, there is nothing like having a huge age gap between kids and starting all over.
But I’m secretly sending out the preggers vibe out into Canadian airspace. I can’t be the only one out here in the next few months with a wee one.
Hurry up and copulate ladies. And then of course, hurry up and propagate.
sorry catherine another not pregnant mum.but having 4 and having had the pregnancy flu so many times ,i know better than to gloat about not being knocked up!but seriously no baby on the way for me but hey congrats to those who are.
NNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! N.O. No more babies for me.
um, yes, please see my urbanmoms post from today…
http://urbanmoms.typepad.com/fabulous/
NOT PREGGO
don’t even joke – i cannot go down that road again – baby #4 just celebrated BDay #5 and no going back now