A few weeks ago, I was listening to the Derringer in the Morning show on Q107 in Toronto and heard my friend Ryan Parker talking about his uncomfortable playground situation. Like most things that Ryan talks about I was dying laughing and thought hmmmm….we need to do a little ‘he said – she said’ on our playground issues. Clearly, Ryan and I both need some advice and while we give each other some below – we both want to hear what you have to say!
He Says
Two of the benefits of working on Derringer in the Morning is getting to work on an incredible morning show and getting to spend the afternoons with my 18 month old son Travis. The upside of spending the afternoon with my son is I get to take him the park almost every day. One of the downsides of spending the day at the park is I’m often the only Dad there. We go just the two of us sometimes to give my wife break.
In my Milton neighbourhood everyone has a baby or a dog, some have both. So needless to say the parks are always rammed with mothers, babies and the odd Bichon Frise. I’m carrying sippy cups and they’re carrying ovaries. Don’t get me wrong they are always very polite, it’s me that’s self conscious. I always wonder what they’re thinking. Why isn’t he at work? Why is he so bald? I don’t know.
I am fairly social so I always think I should spark up a conversation. You should hear what goes on in my brain. I assume I should I ask about their kid, so I ask how old? What name? I always play it safe. I figure if I ask if they are breast feeding I’ll be going home with a sippy cup and a black eye.
You know what doesn’t generally start up conversations with the ladies in the park? Sports talk. Hi Linda do you think the Leafs made the right call making Dion Phaneuf the Captain. Or do you think I should keep Peyton Manning in my fantasy football team?
Sometimes I even think about faking that I can’t speak English just so I can avoid the whole thing. I never know what to do and I would appreciate any advice. There are probably a lot of Dads out there that go to parks and don’t know what to do or say…please help out all the Dads out there and lets us know what to talk to you about at the park. Help!!!
She Says
It’s an interesting one, Ryan, I can tell you what is personally going through MY mind when you show up. Hmm is he single? Or Could he and his partner be my new gay BFFs. Names and ages of the kids are always a safe place to start and by letting the mom’s know that you’re giving your wife a break mid-week, you’ll be elevated to hero status in no time. Oh and if there’s a splash pad at the park, leave the banana hammock at home…I’m just saying.
She Says
So my issue is slightly different than Ryan’s but along the same vein. Most Saturday mornings, Will and I venture to the park. It’s packed with kids and dads, most of whom are letting their wives sleep in on Saturday mornings. After I finish seething with jealousy over the extra sleep, we usually start chatting about the kids, work, and yes Ryan, sometimes sports! (And let me be clear…I’m not suggesting they’re hitting on me!)
But Sunday mornings tends to be family morning at the park so it’s Will and I and then the other kids with their dads AND moms. And….the dads don’t talk to me. Some of the dads who were Chatty Charlies the day before just stand there pushing their kids on the swing acting like I’m a total stranger. Even if I say, ‘Hi! Little Jimmy is digging the slide as much as he did yesterday!’ I get the wide-eyed, deer in the headlights stare. I’ll be frank – it irritates the crap out of me. So Ryan – what’s the deal??
He Says
In defense of the Dad’s I’d probably do the same and the reason is simple…we don’t want to get grilled on the way home. My wife knows I would never do anything inappropriate but it’s just a conversation that doesn’t need to be had. Most times if I can’t answer her inquiries with ‘yes dear’ I get scared.
So everybody, what’s your call on our playground issues? Any advice – thoughts? Any of your own issues that you’re willing to let Ryan and I weigh in on???
Lucky you Jen – I have school yard issues and still have a little one who I take to the park.
I can strike up a conversation with a mom or dad. I’ll talk to anyone who will talk back. Been at home for 9 years. Adult conversation is imperative – whether talking about kids or sports or kids sports.
OH – and I would introduce them to my husband the next time I saw them…no awkward side eyes here.
I’m a single parent with a 10 and 7 year old, going to the park all the mom’s talk about is KIDS, KIDS and more kids. Dad’s talk about sports and work, I try to stay away from the mom’s if I don’t know them, play it safe. Handsome son Ryan with great hair !
OK first, those are two adorable little boys! As for park issues, my kids are older so mine are now schoolyard issues. I work. I am not in the schoolyard a lot. Sometimes I am dressed for work in the schoolyard. I don’t know all the moms. Or the kids. Or the teachers. Or the gossip. I am on the outside. None of these things have me fitting in beyond a friendly chat.
And really? I am SO glad. Getting too close at the park/schoolyard can lead to some crazy sh**. Keep the conversation casual unless you want to get caught up in the politics of your kid’s social lives.