Hi Gorgeouses!
As soon as I get my cheaty little monkey to bed, Josh-O and I are having a BIG BROTHER/TEEN CHOICE AWARDS pizza party! Cannot wait…. In the meantime, LET’S GOSSIP!: JESSICA SIMPSON new earthy-like style; KATE WINSLET gorjness in London; NAOMI WATTS AND LIEV SHREIBER out with new babe; NICOLE RITCHIE released from jail after 86 minutes; LINDSAY LOHAN gets 1 day!; and, MORE!
Oh dangit, we couldn’t wait till she went to bed. We ate our pizza while she watched Max and Ruby. Beautiful good times.
check it!!!
JESSICA SIMPSON DOWN-TO-EARTHING IT
I would TOTALLY wear what Jess is wearing here. And, that says a lot when we’re talking about something Jessica Simpson’s wearing! Here she is going to a soiree with her assistants in Malibu. THIS is Jess Simpson’s party style? Something’s DEFINITELY changed with her, then. New image? I mean, BROWN, JEANS, conservative UP-DO, NATURAL MAKEUP, TAN-THAT’S-NOT-ORANGE? LOVES IT. She looks GORJ! And, totally buff!
Oooo, this just in! Jess on her way to Les Deux — like THIS!
LOVING it! And, love the blue shoes — you can barely see ’em here, but LOVE ’em. The intergossips are saying she looks too plain and un-clubby-like. But, I LIKE it! I think she looks her sexiest like this.
NICOLE RITCHIE RELEASED FROM THE SLAMMER AFTER ONLY 86 MINUTES
86 minutes. That’s about how long it takes me to stand up from sitting
these days (35 weeks preggers AM!). It’s about how long it takes to
watch 4 episodes of Dora. How long it takes Paris Hilton to go back to
her old scandal self after a few weeks in jail, etc., etc.. Honestly? Nicole checked into Lynwood on Thursday at 3:15pm (with Joel Madden there for
support), and she was released at 4:37pm. THAT’LL TEACH HER not to
almost-kill people drunk driving. Freaking beyatch — I have no
tolerance for this sh-t. AnyHOOT, here’s the statement her lawyer
(Shawn Chapman Holley) gave:
Nicole was aware that most people with sentences similar to hers are
booked and released in a matter of hours and she was hoping to be
treated like everyone else," attorney Shawn Chapman Holley said in a
statement. "Nevertheless, she was prepared to serve her entire four-day
sentence had the Sheriff’s Department required her to do so.
…Of course, she was pleasantly surprised to be released so quickly.
"Pleasantly surprised," LIKE, DUHHHHH! Hmph. Tsk. Sheesh. Ka bob.
SPEAKING OF GET-OUT-OF-JAIL-FREE CARDS….
1 DAY. 1 FREAKING DAY. For the DUI, the this, the that, the other (see my last post…I can’t talk about this anymore…).
Yes, for all her "felonies," she got sentenced to 1 day of jail, 10 days of community service, and a compulsory drug
treatment program. She’s also been placed on 36 months probation, must complete an 18-month alcohol education program, pay hundreds of dollars in fines,
and has to go to a morgue to talk to
drunk-driving victims as part of a three-day county coroner program.
Yesterday, Lindsay released the following statement: "It is clear
to me that my life has become completely unmanageable because I am
addicted to alcohol and drugs. I broke the law and today I took
responsibility by pleading guilty to the charges in my case."
Lindsay has up to January 2008 complete her jail time (ONE DAY, OOoooOOOOO), community service
and drug rehab program.
OOOOH BOY….
Ooooh boy, Brit REEEEEAALY needs to LOSE the extensions, like, pronto! OY! (And, by the way, Brit’s had all sorts of driving issues lately. No DUI, but sloppy driving, tickets, fender benders, etc.. But, we’re kind of fed up with Brit lately, aren’t we? And, it’s all just so booooring. The fly-away hair is MUCH more exciting.)
Photo, with thanks, c/o X17.
IF YOU CAN MAKE THESE JEANS WORK, YOU HAVE TO BE HOTT
Honestly? Separate the jeans from the bawd, and you have some UGGERS jeans there. The fact that Jessica Alba looks amazing, and that I can’t take my eyes off her butt in those I-REPEAT-UGGERS jeans, must mean that her bawd’s freaking ridiculously awesome. Her face is utterly gorj, too. HATE. HER.
KATE WINSLET LOVELY IN LONDON
The hair thing. I always think that, once you go red, you just can’t go back. I mean, I miss the old redheaded Lindsay Lohan AND the auburn locks of Titanic‘s Kate Winslett. I never thought the blond suited her. Never. But, here, it actually works. It looks great with her skin tone and everything. She looks BRILLERS. And, WE LOVE HER unaffected air and style. Don’t we, Gorgeouses? LOVE!
Photo, with thanks, c/o Splash.
LIEV SCHREIBER (HEARRRRT!) AND NAOMI WATTS OUT ON THE TOWN WITH BABY ALEXANDER
OMG, how HOT IS LIEV adorable are they? Awww!? DILF!!!
Photo, with thanks, c/o X17.
SURI THROWS TANTRUM — SOOOO SWEEET
Here’s hoping Suri stays this real and emotionally FREE — despite her robot parents. So ‘dorable! SO!
BIG BROTHER GOSSIP!
OMG — how hilariously CRUEL was BB to WAHMBER tonight — particularly when she and Jameka were gabbing about WAHmber being the ideal candidate for America’s Next Top Model, and how she could totally be a magazine cover girl, how she’s so hot, etc., etc.! EEEeeeek! Unbelievably hysterical. WAHmber LOVES herself. And, she has NO IDEA what "America" thinks of her….
The "religee-o’s" — Jameka and WAHmber, but mostly WAHmber — are all about religee-on until they have to get naked, go shopping, lie, boast about their gorjness, and so forth. BLEEEEHHHH. They’re SO transparent and hypocritical that IT’S ANNOYING. They talk the talk ALL THE FREAKING TIME, and just barely walk the walk that they talk (ermm…). I mean, seriously? You go to the DIARY ROOM to pray to G-D in front of all of America? It’s embarrassing, really! (And, I thought Jameka was bad…. WAHmber’s getting more psychotic with this schtick every show!)
And, I’m curious — because I have this kind of mind… — did they censor the nudie bits in tonight’s shopping-spree luxury competition? Or, are all of them going to appear naked on the internet. I mean, I don’t NEED to see any of them naked (even — and maybe even especially — my fantasy lovah DICK). I just want to know if the religee-o’s went naked on national TV and the internet, and and AND if Nick finally gets to see Daniele naked…. Anyone know?
Want more Cheaty? Check it — at The Cheaty Monkey!
Talk to me, and each other, in the comments!
LOVE!
xo Haley-O
O! My poor bloggy! I almost forgot to publish you! Here goes, finally…. PUBLISH!
LES — WAHMBER is ridiculous. I laugh every time she cries now! 😉
SPARKS — Yeah, that title and that whole bit was pretty lame…if not scary…. 😉
SLEEPY — I think part of the problem is her clothes are too tight on her now, and small…. And, she’s eating all the time. Otherwise, you’re right, she’s not overweight…!
JILL — Ahhh, Kaysar. He was the best! Smart and good looking. 🙂
ALLISON — Thank you for thinking of me! I’ll definitely miss everyone, but, as I’ll explain in tomorrow’s post, I’m going to try to get back in the swing of things as soon as possible. Thanks for the really kind comment! As for Heidi and Spencer…. They are SUCH a joke. And, they’re notoriously contrived. They were apparently paid to pose in a lot of those pics, and were allegedly paid to go public with the whole engagement thing as soon as they did. Heidi’s not a stupid person. But, Spencer makes her out to be a puppet and he the puppeteer. It’s funny but sad.
ADAM — I so totally want a sling!! I never wanted on the first pregnancy. But, definitely now. looks so good on Liev, too (everything looks good on Liev…not that you care about that or anything! Just saying! ;))
Hey Haley O!
I love that Liev and Naomi have the little one in the sling!
Go sling babies 🙂
the tom/katie scientology thing does seem strangely extreme, but he has somehow redeemed himself with Brooke Shields?…(which must count for something). You know who seem like the staged/robotic couple from Hollywood — (not sure they could be called celebs) — Spencer and Heidi, (or is it Lauren), from that t.v. show…they are shown a lot in mags like In Touch, constantly frolicking on the beach and sometimes he is effortlessly carrying her around while they enjoy life. whaa? I guess I am just not the kind of woman one can carry around…
question: how long will your maternity leave from blogging be? you will be very missed, and I’m sure many will be thinking of you, wishing you sleep, etc.
Amber couldn’t put through with praying like Kaysar did last two season. And she is not half as sexy as him!!I miss KaysaR!!:'(
I was in shock when I heard what they had to do for the luxury competition!!
I can not believe she thinks she can be a model. Thats all I got to say. At the same time I do hate how they play her up as the “fat girl” on BB8, seriously I would love to lose more weight and get to look like that, she really isn’t fat. A little floppy? Maybe.
Plenty of hotness today. Even if it is convicted hotness. The teen choice awards pizza party scares me though.
Wahamber is so freaking annoying! The crying is almost painful to watch/listen to – it’s right up there with the nails across the chalkboard feeling.
Love love love Jess’ new earthy look!
DREA — Caleb is SUCH A SUPERSTAH! 😉 It must get tough for him, yeah…. He’s a role model…. And, a good one. 🙂
KAREN — yeah, as far as tantrums go, that was nothing. It was just sweet. And, there IS a lot of pressure on Katie, as a mom, to “perform” — she was definitely judged for “giving Suri the pen back.” But, I don’t think I’d be into disciplining my child in front of the world, either….
ALI — ME TOO! What an adorable crying face! I love crying faces — I mean, not the crying part, but how cute they are when they cry….
ALLISON — I think the popular reference is to the Stepford Wives, more than “robotic.” I just find Katie so changed and so contrived since she’s been with Tom. Blank in the eyes. But, you’re right, maybe that’s because she’s photographed ALL the time. But, when you’re Katie Holmes and you’re marrying Tom Cruise — you KNOW this is what life will be like. So, it’s as if she’s been “programmed” to be this way for the cameras — to seem perfect and glam. Basically (sorry for the ramble) I think they’re referred to as “robotic”, etc., by many gossips for a few reasons: 1. Scientology (and how their lifestyle’s dictated by it), 2. they don’t seem human (Tom’s strange behaviour, and Katie’s Stepford blankness — the fake smiles, etc.), 3. and, maybe the fact that you only see them dressed to the nines — even when they go to the zoo, etc., they’re never relaxed, laid back, etc.. Again, we only know them from their pics. And, you know, we could call them worse things, right? 🙂 Great question! Anyone else have an opinion on this?
I really don’t get why popular opinion has Tom and Katie as ‘robotic’, etc. I feel like I missed some sightings/reports on weird behaviour. Although, them announcing they have separate bedrooms is really bizarre, (if you’re gonna do it, wouldn’t you keep it quiet?, and if you do it/say it, I think you’re on a slippery slope to no sex/divorce). B/c of a bunch of reasons, working late, three small children, etc., my husband is not in the maritial bed at least 50% of the time, but we have not declared it an official situation!!!
But why ‘robotic’?? They seem pretty normal is paparazzi pictures…if most of us were in that situation (with baby) they’d catch me doing a lot worse than not smiling! i.e. permanent scowl/frown.
i heart Suri Cruise. 🙂
Jess looks the prettiest I’ve ever seen her – I’m not a big fan, but the natural look definitely suits her.
I also found the Suri thing a bit sad – it’s like she lives in a bubble. She is so cute, that wasn’t much of a tantrum either, she appears to be a good baby – but does her mom really have to CARRY her everywhere! I suppose because she just can’t plop her in a stroller to do some real shopping, especially in those haute couture outfits they both wear all the time. The price of fame.
Jessica Alba – yes, only she could get away with those skin tight things – the bulges look almost hot on her. I feel bad for the girl in the back!
awe suri looks so sweet… you know I think children can pick up on all that extra attention and it can really stress them out. Caleb is CONSTANTLY watched and talked to by people in the church.. he gets a lot more attention than most children at the church because hes the Pastors son. Its difficult some days because Caleb will be tired and doesnt want people constantly in his face talking to him.. and although intentions are sweet and people just want to say hi.. they really need to back off some days! lol
Poor Caleb looks stressed so many days because of it… I just want to yell and say “leave him alone!”
Ok that was a tangent lol.
those jeans are so ugly btw, lol. those skin tight ones. who wears that!
LD — Yeah, I think I would have given in if I were Katie…. Who needs that when you have a million people flashing cameras at you — you just want to get her quiet……
JEN — I know, big freaking deal. I just think Suri is so adorable. And, it’s nice to see the common ground among all babies. No matter how wealthy or poor or celebrity or “normal” you are, the babes are all the same. We’re all human. It was just nice to see a human side of this super famous family. But, aside from that, it’s very sad that Suri has to be subjected to the flash bulbs of fame…. She’ll definitely grow up with it.
I love Jessica’s look. She looks way way better natural like that.
As for Suri … I watched it. That is so not a temper tantrum in our world!!! I kind of feel for Katie. I mean, do you give in and have everyone watch the world’s biggest temper tantrum or do you give the pen back and look like you give in?
Tough call.
Oh! Btw, LOVE Jess’ natural look. She looks stunning!!
WAHAMBER is SO brutal! The crying, the whole top model thing, totally ridiculous. I can’t believe she gets in front of a camera to PRAY. Ugh. I wish she were gone SO BAD. She is going to be totally embarrassed when she gets out of there and see how she came across to the public.
The Suri thing I found really sad. Big deal. The kid was crying, her mom was shopping, they were walking to a car. Big freakin’ deal. I feel sorry for them.