They dated for over a year and to surprise him for his birthday she gave him a trip to – her very very very favourite spot-Paris.
They had had a few issues and growing pains throughout their relationship – she was a doer and he always resisted doing anything new with her. He wanted to sit on the couch and watch his favourite TV shows and she loved anything the world had to offer- Opera, skiing, going to the movies, the galleries and eating in new and obscure little places. They had a great time together in spite of this and if she worked really hard she could get him out and he could enjoy. She felt safe with him, if a bit bored at times. He did not cheat on her though and likely never would and that was a comfort given her past with her ex husband.
Here they were in one of the most romantic and exciting cities in the world and she could hardly wait to take him to the Musee D’Orsay- a place so loved by her she may have brought him all the way here just to see that.
Once inside the Musee, she giggled with excitement. To share something you love with someone you love is gorgeous. It would have been impossible for him to have not known how much this meant to her. After 10 minutes he sighed a deep sigh and said he was ready to go.
There it was in black and white- not only were they far apart in their interests but he did not have the compassion or interest to like it/try it/fake it for her.
In any relationship there can be the singular moment from which the relationship cannot recover . I call it THE DAY THE PIANO FELL ON MY HEAD and this was it for her.
She still loved him. But she could no longer be involved with him.
Thank God for falling pianos! They really help to clarify reality.
I knew someone would have the golf argument! I love it! It’s exactly what popped into my head….Nancy – I love this post, you gripped me!
yes, the pebble become a sharp rock!
no- not to hate him. To love the moment that all was finally clear. He is not hateful just too different for her i think
this blogger likes to provoke and I was hoping for this argument. And I could not agree more. Not everything needs to be shared.
remember that playing golf is not sitting on the couch watching TV, though
and that drink at the end of the day with the guy that did nothing is not as exhilarating
and if you chose something was really really special to you – he would go, I think.
keep commenting! all great stuff
I like Maya Angelou’s saying: When someone shows you who they are, believe them.
Sometimes I have blindsided by deliberate and elaborate deceptions but more often I believe defining moments were abundant in most of my difficult relationships.
Like a little rock in my shoe, and ignored and keept moving ahead with hope or sheer stubborness blinding me until the pain becomes unbearable.
With lots of those experiences behind me, I was motivated to become aware of the signs rather than saving the pain for later.
It sure took a lot of experiences though….
i
Just to be the devil’s advocate here, I value the differences in our relationship and know what Nick’s limitations are and his mine. I will never play golf because I don’t want to and he doesn’t want me to. We will spend a glorious 4 hours apart and then have a drink together with excitement over our different days. Each happy and fulfilled. Is this crazy? I could no soon drag him through an art gallery than he could me though 9 holes. We get it and respect eachother for it.
Oh. I can only imagine the crushing disappointment of that.
I don’t even know them, but I kind of hate him for that for a minute.