If birth is supposed to be done where one is most relaxed and comfortable, I don’t want to be in my living room, 15 minutes from an OR if I happened to need one. The very thought of something going wrong during delivery and my being that far from a hospital is enough to make me anything but relaxed and comfortable. Sure, a hospital comes with a few less than desirable things: annoying fetal monitoring that forces you to lay down on your back while the baby’s heart rate is assessed; the occasional grumpy night nurse; a greater chance of unwanted interventions; a not-so-homey environment that is more sterile and cold than warm and fuzzy; and really horrible food during your recovery stay. But I am willing to take the good with the bad, and luckily for us, our local hospital has an amazing staff and stellar policies and I have always been pleased with the care we’ve received there.
Not This Homegirl
A friend of mine is actually a nurse in Labour and Delivery (she hoisted up my right leg while I pushed Avelyn out…she knows me a little better than I’d like her to!) and she said something to the effect that 98% of the time, births are simple and without complication, and in those cases a home birth experience would be perfectly safe. But in the remaining 2% of the time, things can shift from safe to precarious in a matter of seconds. I suppose the odds might sound fairly low, but it’s just a risk I don’t feel ready to take.
I know many women who have successfully had home births and who rave about the positive experience, the peaceful surroundings, the sense of control. And good for them. Really, I am pleased they had such great experiences giving birth in their own homes. And I would hope they would be just as pleased for me as I enjoyed my hospital births.
What about you? Do you feel more relaxed at home or in the hospital? Was it an easy decision for you to make, or did you grapple with the pros and cons of each?
Both my sons were born at home and I would never go to the hospital unless I had to. My midwives did all the cleanup. Near the end of my pregnancies I rearranged the bedroom and then rearranged it again a couple weeks after my sons were born… I’ve never had weird feelings about giving birth in the same bed that my husband and I sleep in and I think the rearranging helps. Canada seems to have a better record for less intervention during L&D than the States, from my own bit of research and experience, so that’s good.
Amanda, you know my position on this whole issue. I have seen more beautiful “natural” births in our L&D attended by Dr’s no less, than traumatic horrendous births full of “intervention”!!! I have seen though the quest for “natural” become the focus over what is considered safe. Health mom, healthy baby that is my choice and whatever the means is really what is meant to be. Sometimes giving up control makes for a happier postpartum period! A controversial subject with really no right answer!!
See … the problem with seeing how hospital births go first is that often times the hospital created the problem in the first place. As the home birth-er above mentioned, 40 weeks is just an AVERAGE. That means that half of women would naturally go longer than that. But often, hospital policy is to induce. At 39 weeks, 40 weeks, 41 weeks. Whatever. Well, what if that baby wasn’t ready to come out until 42? Then, you end up with baby who has “problems” and “thank GOD we were at a hospital”… the cause of the problem becomes its own rescue.
Another example -> my homebirth midwife just attended a birth where the woman’s water broke and no labor started. They did preventative measures to prevent infection (infection is much less likely at home than in a hospital filled with other sick people). And they waited. They waited 4 days. While they were waiting, the baby was not in a good position (which a midwife can tell). As soon as the baby had moved into a good position, labor started. And baby was delivered right away. If that had been a hospital, she would have been induced with drugs within 24 hours of membrane rupture … with a baby in the wrong position. And maybe labor wouldn’t progress because of the bad position. Enter C-section! MAJOR abdominal surgery with huge risks to mother and child. Major surgery that was avoided if no hospital policy was involved.
The 2% is only ONE percent you need to think about. The other %, at least in the US, is that 20-50% (depending on the hospital) of women who walk into a hospital to give birth leave with a Major Surgery. If that was normal, then our species would be extinct. So… you have to weight the 2% against the 35%. With a qualified attending midwife who knows when to transfer a birthing mom and why, you are safer in a low risk birth – period -> doctors ARE necessary AND needed … but only when they are! When they aren’t they just get in the way with their “hospital policies” aka malpractice prevention methods.
Okay, off my soap box.
Now that I’ve said that … my midwife also says, “you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make her push out a baby”. SO MUCH of birth is mental. The woman has to feel safe and comfortable. If that can’t happen at home, then YES the best place to be is in a hospital. Or wherever they feel safe and comfortable (birth center connected to hospital, whatever.) Otherwise, labor will just stop. Plain and simple. One midwife I know has seen a laboring woman’s cervix close up! As in… she was a 9, but 10 minute later a 5! She didn’t feel safe and she stopped her own labor. So, to each their own. Mama should do want makes Mama feel safe.
I just think all Mamas should KNOW about what a hospital birth means when they make that choice. [Intervention piled on intervention piled on random policy -> topped off with doctors who have never even SEEN a natural birth progress because all their training was in … hospitals. The end.]
Oh -> my first was in a birth center attached to a hospital. The worst part was the car ride, in both directions. This time, I’ll be at home!
Last time (with living on a gulf island) and this time (with twins) I don’t really have an option, maybe if we were to have more I would have the option. I see why people go the homebirth route but it just doesn’t appeal to me at all. I think my tension about the mess, risk of staining any homefurnishings, looking around and seeing a hundred things I didn’t get to before the birth (dishes, paper work, reorganizing my closet etc.) and just the fear of something going wrong would, together, way outweigh any possible benefits of being relaxed in a familiar environment. I guess it’s just a personality thing, also I am not super comfortable with accepting help, even when I really need it (which is my own issue to work through) so for me I would rather be in hospital where food, laundry, cleaning, dealing with the gross bits is all done by people I don’t know, who’s job it is and see it all, all the time (so I don’t think about it.)
I DON’T KNOW.
No, seriously, my husband and I flip-flop on this all the time. The only reason that home birth petrifies me is because, like you, we live 15 minutes from a hospital. Oh, and I have a very strong family history of hemmorhage.
If it were just the distance? I’d go for it. I’d find an experienced midwife, a doula I love, and cross my fingers. I mean, I fly on airplanes and drive cars and eat raw honey and all of those come with a sliver of risk. But I’m not sure I’m willing to let the history of hemmorhage slide by.
The agreement my husband and I made was that we’d have our first two at a hospital and if I didn’t have any problems, we’d consider a homebirth. Consider. But even so, I’m not sure. So we’ll see when we get to that point, I suppose. I understand the arguments for both hospital and home, and I’m just not sure which I agree with more. Much less which I agree with more for our family.
oh, and I forgot to say that another great perk about having a midwife hospital delivery is that you usually get discharged much earlier. I had my last baby @ 3am on Christmas Day in the middle of a snowstorm. They were majorly short staffed so I didn’t get much attention after my midwife went home to bed at 5:30. I went in to the shower and came out to find hubby had packed up all our things and was warming up the baby seat under the lights. I may have had a few bites of breakfast but we were discharged and home by 8am! My midwife came to see me a few times over the first 3 days and did the PKU test on Day 3. I didn’t have to actually go to their clinic for check-ups till 2 weeks post-partum as they came to me. I love midwives!
I’m so a hospital birther. (I was, in my birthing days, which ended nearly 20 months ago.) I went the midwife route, except for my delivery in Prince Rupert, where the closes midwife was 8 hours away. There I had the most laid back lady dr. ever and she was fabulous. She just sat on the end of the hospital bed and chatted with me and hubby, till I suddenly hit transition and she said “oh, I better get my gloves on!”. Anyway, I had 2 hospital births with midwives and loved it. I had the security of the medical help if necessary, but had my midwife to advocate for my wishes through pregnancy and birth, and she was able to work well with the nurses. An OB actually delivered my first as baby was in major trouble and it was beyond her scope of care. My sister had 2 babies in hospital, 2 at home with m/w, then 2 in the hospital with m/w – because she really didn’t want to have to clean up her own afterbirth again!
I’m with you. After the birth of my first and the upcoming birth of my second, there is no way that I want all that gunk in my house. I love that someone else dealt with all the weird fluids. If I were at home, what the heck would we do with the placenta… can you put those in the city dumpster?
Simon had a very basic delivery (minus the very necessary episiotomy to allow him to come out ear first like he desired… ouch!). However, he had a few issues after delivery and he wound up in NICU for 5 days. Then, we were able to get his casts on and start that nasty process.
I don’t want to even imagine what could have happened to my wonder-child if he hadn’t had immediate medical attention upon birth.
I’ll eat the crappy hospital food. I love my doctor and I’m very into hospital deliveries.
My house was CLEANER after the midwife left than before she arrived. I didn’t even see any icky laundry, everything was cleaned up so quickly.
I’m all for what Laura described. However this time around I’m not sure I’ll have the opportunity for a home birth as we’re moving to a small gulf Island with the only access to a hospital being a ferry ride away. I’ll probably be camped out on the hospital steps at 37 weeks to avoid delivery on a ferry.
My sweet ‘little’ 10lb 4oz Clare arrived peacefully at home after hanging out in my uterus a full 17 days after my due date. She was born in a kiddy pool in my bedroom with the lights dimmed and 2 quiet midwives nearby. Through the open window I heard classical music from my neighbours who were piano teachers, my 5 year old daughter poked her head in every once in a while to see if the baby was there yet, but otherwise was downstairs with her aunt. My 2 year old son slept soundly through the birth only 10 feet away in his room. After my chubby, round, perfect baby girl was born and the afterbirth delivered in the water, the midwives helped me clean myself off and dry off, and I walked 5 feet to my cozy bed where my husband and I adored the little one. Between breastfeeding and phoning family, somehow the midwives cleaned and sterilized the pool, filling it with pillows for my oldest to play in. They brought me some soup and toast and checked me for tears (not even a paper cut!). When the time was right and I was willing to let them hold my baby girl, they weighed and measured her and announced that she was perfect. They left my home 3 hours after she was born, having tidied my kitchen and washed and dried all the towels, and our new family had a beautiful sleep together.
I can’t wait to experience it again.
I had an uncomplicated, unmedicated 2 hour hospital L&D with my first. Pretty good candidate for a home birth the next time, right? Not so.
My second was the opposite – 22hrs full of complications. I was so glad to be in the hospital the entire time.
My third – 4 hour unmedicated, uncomplicated birth. Lovely. And loved being in the hospital for it.
I agree with the above posters – it would be very odd to sleep in the bed I gave birth in. I didn’t even do that at the hospital! LOL!
I happen to ride with Amy on this wagon – I don’t want the clean up. Nor do I want to have to climb back into my bed with my husband, the one that I pushed a kid out in, and be expected to feel sexy, heck I highly doubt he’d even get an invite into said bed.
There are people for whom it works wonders, I just happen to be a fan (like if they had a facebook page I’d be a fan) of epidurals and you just can’t get those in the recliner at home.
Call me crazy, but I don’t want a home birth, because that means I’d have to wash the sheets and whatever else gets dirty. Yes, folks, that really is my reason to go to the hospital.
Of course, I think it’s all a personal choice but I would prefer to go the home route next time. I had a normal pregnancy, but my doctors wanted to induce so I agreed. I hate that I was on Pitocin, I hate that I couldn’t stay out of bed because of the monitors, nor could I use the wireless and walk around because my nurse wanted me in bed. I want to be at home and do it naturally next time, but I am glad to have experienced what it was like the first time knowing that if anything happened, we would be in the hospital already. So much is unknown the first time!
I’m with you. Completely. I would not feel safe or comfortable giving birth at home AT ALL. But totally admire home-birthers.
Also, I’m glad we live in a place where we have the OPTION.
I chose home birth for many reasons and had an excellent experience. While I know it is not for everyone, I felt like being at home would allow me to relax and let labor progress. I also loved that I had my midwives all to myself – the care I received was amazing!
FYI: BC is a great place for home births. A recent large scale study in BC indicated that for low risk women planned home birth was as safe as hospital births.
I am all about the home birth. My pillow, my tub, my germs–no one has every gotten MERSA from my house. Yes, hospitals are wonderful places if you need them, but the VAST majority of people just don’t need them.
That being said, I do have a wonderful midwife whom I trust. If she says it’s time to go to the hospital, then we go.
I didn’t have a choice when I had my son. I was in the high risk category and the place for me was a hospital.
I think home birth is a great option for low risk healthy people. I think it is great that we have options and that we can choose. I also believe that everything has a risk factor involved. Having a home birth has risks, but so does getting an epidural or booking an elective c-section. I think that weighing risks and how comfortable you are with it is important.
Also, in my personal experience working as a labor delivery RN in a high risk setting I have this to say: I’ve never seen a mother rushed in for an immediate emergency c-section while having a home birth. I have never seen a baby rushed from a home birth into our NICU either. However, I have seen women come in because risk factors arose during their labor or they pushed and pushed and the baby was not budging or there was meconium or a fetal heart rate temporarily dropped. These are just a handful of examples, there are more and all had a positive outcome.
Whatever you choose, be glad there is an option and feel solid in the choice that you make. That is just my 2 cents!