I was at my mom’s place for dinner Wednesday night and the following conversation took place:
Me (trying on my Mum’s ring) : “Mum. Make sure I inherit your divorce ring. I really like it!”
Mum (laughing): “Okay.”
Cam: “What’s a divorce ring?”
Me: “When Nana and Granda got divorced, Nana took her wedding rings and got them made into one ring. So we call it her divorce ring.”
Cam (stunned): “NANA AND GRANDA ARE DIVORCED???”
My Mum and I look at each other with the omigodidhejustaskthat? look.
Me: “Um. Ya Cam. They’ve been divorced for 9 years. You didn’t know that? Seriously?”
Cam: “No. I had no idea.”
Me: “Sooo…you didn’t wonder why they don’t live together? That didn’t tip you off?”
Cam: “Nope…I had no idea you guys were divorced…huh. That’s weird.”
Weird indeed!
I could not believe that my 9.5 year old had no idea that my parents were divorced. My older sister’s kids know – but they’re teenagers…
Is our communication that bad?
What else haven’t we told him? Have we forgotten to teach him things that he should know?
He knows when his birthday is.
He knows where he lives.
According to his report cards progress report he’s smart. Above average (brag)
He can read, write, tie his shoes, he knows he’s not allowed to swear – in front of us or any adult – until high school, he knows he’s supposed to wipe his driddle off the seat…
I’m going to just assume he’s fine and our parenting is fine (aside from the drunk toddler incident) and I’ll take it as an indication that their divorce is amicable enough that the kids never questioned it.
We all live in the same town. The kids see my parents several times a week. Often they stop by at the same time. We celebrate Christmas, Easter, Thanksgiving and birthdays together. Everybody’s happy.
So it’s all good. Right?
Right.
But SERIOUSLY.
How could he not know?
really.
I was going to say it was a boy thing too.
My cousin, who was IN my mom’s second wedding when he was 9 years old!!, still asked to see my bio-dad’s motorcycle every time he came over- no matter how many times he was told that he no longer lived with us. I just don’t think it ever registered.
Maybe it’s a boy thing? Emily knows WAY too much about everything, and Josh kind of seems oblivious about certain things?
That’s a genius idea for a divorce ring… perfect.
Nancy – the ring is worn on the ring finger of her right hand. It fits perfectly on my right middle finger. I’ll take a pic of it to show you and Sara!
And Sara – you’re right. It’s all they’ve known is them apart, but civilized and happy when they’re with the kids. So it’s all good. I guess the “D” word has never come up…
LOVE this and I cannot tell you how I have been privy to a 1000 discussions like this. 6 month after I separated my adorable nephew at Christmas dinner said “where’s Mike?” Honestly kids are the best- this is not a parenting issue- just a sign that all is well.
PS I am going to take all my rings and jewelry from my EX and sell them and put $ towards reno. I would like a divorce ring but would not want anyone to see it and think I was married. I want to be very clear on that. Boys can make snap judgements when they see a twinkle of a ring-!
I’m constantly amazed by what my kids do and don’t know. We don’t hide anything from them. But they only take in what impacts them directly. They don’t obsess and worry about big things, they simply take things one day at a time.
Bwahahahaahahahahaha!!!!!!!! you know I have no idea. My kids have never asked or even questioned that my parents (their grandparents) don’t live together. But again all is good. We celebrate Christmas and Thanksgiving and birthdays all together. Hmmmm I wonder …
This, I would say is a good thing! 🙂
no dude….it’s just always been that way – like he would never have remembered them married so he probably just never gave it a second thought. A divorce ring…I love it. I still have my engagement ring (and unworn wedding band)…maybe I shoudl do that!