My baby boy…
Cuyler turned 9 on Sunday. For some reason I felt a little unsettled this year. Last year was perfect. This year was really wonderful…but there was a small nag. I couldn’t put my finger on it.
Nine just sounds…old.
Nine just sounds…old.
I think my subconscious was remembering back to when he was 3 and 4. He was making major progress. I honestly thought he would be so much farther ahead at nine than where he is. I thought he’d be one of those kids who just fit in. The word I used in my head was “indiscriminate”.
I was talking to Sean about it and I actually said to him “I wonder what I haven’t done for him. Why couldn’t I pull out all that potential? What didn’t I do?”
I put it all on myself. I shouldn’t. I know I’m a good mom. Sean is a great dad. We do our best and we have 3 amazing children.
I think as each year passes I get more nervous about the future. I have no idea what it holds. NONE.
But so what? So what if I don’t know?
I didn’t know 7 years ago that he would talk.
I think as each year passes I get more nervous about the future. I have no idea what it holds. NONE.
But so what? So what if I don’t know?
I didn’t know 7 years ago that he would talk.
I didn’t know 7 years ago if he would go to a regular school.
I didn’t know 7 years ago if he would ever know what a birthday party was, much less have one of his own to enjoy.
Up until 3 years ago a gigantic mouse character would put him into an epic meltdown of terrifying proportions.
And that THIS was the highlight for him??
The kid riddled with the sensory issues couldn’t wait to get into the capsule where he’s surrounded by gushing wind and paper tickets…I’d say that’s progress.
I know he’s come far.
One major breakthrough – his diet. Up until we started the bio-med in the summer, he had a very hard time with not being able to eat what everyone else can, which would often end up in a meltdown. Now? He understands and accepts that his food is different and it poses no problem. That came with increased comprehension about why he has to eat gluten and dairy free foods. That’s progress. That’s why we could say yes when he asked if he could have his birthday party at Chuck E Cheese (god I hate that place).
THAT gives me hope for his future.
He had such an amazing day that it renewed my sense of hope. I took it as a new starting point. My drive is back. I’m energized and feel like I’m ready to refocus and GO FORWARD.
It doesn’t matter how fast he goes, as long as he just keeps moving forward.
he grows more than my kids, i swear! happy birthday, kiddo!
That is amazing Christine! I know too well the hell of sensory issues and epic meltdowns! I am so happy for him and for you – it is truly amazing how with age they tend to move forward:) And that capsule is AMAZING!!
What an unbelievable photo of Cuyler in the capsule! Love it!
Oh my word, Christine… what a wonderful, beautiful boy you have. I’m so proud of him! And of you… you’re doing it all. No one knows what the future holds – we can only hope for the best. All of us. Happy Birthday, dear Cuyler!! (And his hairline since he was an infant? Amazing. So darling!)
I love this post so much….so much. Cuy is doing AMAZING….thanks to his awesome parents and sibs!