My daughter, now 3, was a fussy baby. When we found out we were expecting our second child, a son, we were thrilled. This was going to be our ‘easy’ baby! The one that fell asleep anywhere, that loved to cuddle, that breastfed like a champ…the one who would be content as long as mommy was holding him. Then he was born…
The labour and delivery was relatively easy and fast, better than my first. Sammy took to breastfeeding immediately, which I was relieved about. It looked like maybe we got our ‘easy baby’after all. He liked nursing so much, in fact, that he latched on and didn’t let go for most of the first night, and into the next day. Every time I unlatched him, he started crying and screaming. He wouldn’t sleep, except when he was latched on. I slept 4.5 hours total over the next 2.5 days because I couldn’t sleep with him right next to me.
The first few days turned out to be a foreshadowing of the next several months. Sammy slept poorly – he went about 1.5-2 hours from the beginning of one feeding to the beginning of the next – which meant we weren’t sleeping much either. When he ate, he constantly pulled off, screaming as if in pain. And when he was awake, he was crying, screaming, or screeching.
It seemed like our little boy wished he had never been born. And to be honest, there were times I wished the same thing. I wondered If I really loved him…so far we had built no positive memories together. The guilt I felt was overwhelming at times – if his own mommy didn’t love him, who did? A little boy, all alone in the world, with no one loving him…
Over time, we were able to figure out that a sensitivity to dairy was a major factor in his discomfort. Now that he’s a little older, we also feel that part of his screaming was likely a result of his ‘larger than life’ personality. He still reacts strongly to whatever he’s experiencing – good or bad – but I wouldn’t trade his belly laughs and easy full-faced grins for anything.
Holly is an urbanmoms.ca member and founder of www.fussybaby.ca, also featured in this week’s edition of the urbanmoms.ca Marketplace. Share your thoughts and experiences below, in comments!
Hey Sarah! I’m not sure if you’ll ever check back here but wanted to leave a little note. You’re definitely not alone! Even though my little guy is a lot easier now, he still gets REALLY whiny when anything is wrong (like the endless nightmare of teething, for example). At least I know that by the time they’re 2 or so, they just CAN’T possibly cry and whine all day! (right?! ;-))
Holly
I know exactly where you are coming from! My son, who is also my second child and who is now 6 months old, Is an extremely fussy baby. For the first 48 hours of his life, he cried maybe 2 times, and me and my husband where like “wow he doesn’t cry”. Boy where we wrong. Still to this day my son will cry anywhere from 4-6 hours. I love my children very much, and sometimes it’s so hard to deal with. Luckly though, my son does sleep through the night. And we too have realized that he has stomach problems if I eat or drink too much milk. I love your website! Thanks for great website! When I’m at home with a crying baby during the day I finally feel like I’m not alone anymore!
I also know what it is like to have a baby (also my number 2) that cries all the time from what i felt was pain. I was living in London UK and my GP would always tell me that babies…cried. It turned out that he had really bad reflux (with 2 degree burns in his eosophogus) and a strange bacteria in his intestines. Although it was a very difficult time in our lives, we made it thru. My son is now almost 9. He is still physically small and not very strong but he is in good health. And we could not imagine life without him.
Ah yes. My now 8 year old was DEFINITELY a fussy baby! Now he is a high energy, gifted, kind big kid. Knowing him now I see what all the fuss was about but that first year (and maybe more) were confusing and isolating. I wish fussybaby.ca had been around for me then!
Holly, thanks for sharing your story. My first was definitely in the “easy baby” category, but number two was a real eye opener, with a very colicky period around 6 wks onwards and STILL sleeping issues at over four years old. I’m sure all the other moms out there can commiserate to some degree!