My daughter is going to a semi formal Friday and as we both hate shopping we put it off until yesterday when we scooped a dress in under 1/2 an hour at an adorable dress shop- a freestanding independent, not in a mall and 40% off. She loves the dress, I love the dress. It more than covers her tush. All said, the experience was better than average.
As we were paying, the owner slipped this tag on the same dress in Large that remained in the store
The girls also post the dress they have bought on Facebook so there is no duplication. On the surface this makes sense on some level. So why does all of this seem just a bit too precious for me?
This is not the Golden Globes, they are not buying couture, they are teenagers in high school.
The more I consider this the more it seems to me to be a further opportunity to anesthetize childhood.
Is it traumatic to be seen in the same dress?
Is it a tragedy to see yourself coming and going?
Is it a form of bullying that cannot be recovered from?
Isn’t it just a normal part of life that we once again shudder to think our children might endure and never recover from?
The hushed tones about these dresses and the effort to make sure there is no duplication makes it all so life and death.
I find it bizarre and precious. You?
Enh, I know that this is important to them, but really, with so many of them buying from the same favourite places, it’s bound to happen. Why not feed them a few funny lines to handle it with in case it happens, and let life go on? It really isn’t the end of the world, a semi-formal, and it can’t hurt for them to go in armed with a little perspective. (Of course, I say that as someone who couldn’t be bothered to go to school dances past grade 10, let alone a prom. I just wasn’t into it, so there’s that.)
unless we love being the rounder funny brunette with the lisp, the limp and the sense of humour.
That perfect blonde is never perfect.
thanks for tuning in ! best-n
Hi Nancy
Love your blog. I just happened upon it, thanks to UrbanMoms.
Girls used to travel way out of town or go to a designer/seamstress for “the” dress. Seeing it on the dance floor — on the pretty blonde with the updo, gorgeous sandals and cleavage? Major tear jerker.
good points Cat. Thanks for sharing your story
Brenda and Kelly wore the same dress to the Spring Dance and it was a DISASTER. You don’t want that happening. Heh.
I have never seen that tag, though. The don’t buy this dress tag. I think it’s hilarious!
I can understand the concern at having a duplicate dress, you spend your time looking for the perfect dress (in the case my high school grad formal that included a girls’ weekend to the States with my mum, Jen, my best friend and her mum) and when you finally get to put on your very own piece of equisite perfection, you find somebody else had the same idea. Your hunt for originality finds you less than original. As it turned out, I went to my high school grad formal in the same dress as someone else. We figured it out ahead of time though and I couldn’t exactly return my dress and the other girl didn’t want to. We decided to be oh-so-mature 18-year olds and said, “Oh well, the ballroom will be huge, we’ll probably end up sitting on opposite sides from each other.” Turns out, our tables were side-by-side for dinner and we were sitting back-to-back! After a few initial comments from people, “Hey did you know….”, there wasn’t really an issue. We laughed about it and got a couple photos together. But, we were forewarned and I think it could have been a lot more upsetting if we hadn’t known beforehand. And of course, all my friends and Mum and Jen assured me I looked better in the dress 😉
I think the horror lies in some other girl wearing the same dress you chose… and she looks BETTER in it than YOU do!! That’s the worst. I remember seeing it happen at our semi-formals… one minute you’re feeling like a princess in your fabulous Fabulousness, and the next, you feel like Jenny-come-lately next to the Homecoming Queen, who is at least a head taller than you, and 15 pounds lighter.
I tell you, I’ve seen it happen. But yes… it’s all a tad precious. It’s the big excitement for girls this age, right? In the future, dressing up is all down hill from there anyway. Better they be excited about the dress, and less so about the, erm, after-party stuff, I reckon.
Yikes.
Yes, crazy! I love the visual of the pinto and the hot rollers- don’t forget peach silk dress- very 80’s. And the curling iron ! Very Farrah Fawcett.
Wow – craziness…..mind you in my day, the high school formal consisted of your mom making your dress and putting your hair in hot rollers to sleep on the night before (hellllo, 1983) and cramming you, your BB and your respective dates into a Pinto if you were lucky. No limos. No before parties. No designer dresses. It’s gone mad here in Australia as well – designer all the way, limos, hiring make-up artists/stylists to come to your house…gah. Glad my daughter is only 6. I worry about kids’ expectations – I am trying to teach my kids to be individuals, not lemmings and respect each other’s differences. It’s a hard lesson/experience to learn (from) – I have no advice other than you have raised an awesome series of questions. Look forward to reading others’ responses.