It is shocking to be divorced. The word has a hard sound like death but
with a bitter chaser. It is a life that went down a path, crooked and
interesting and then suddenly hit a cliff or a dead-end. In order to
take a different road you had to back track over the mess, the
crookedness, the bumps and take a new road.
Alone.
At first
you feel lost. Bags are heavy, decisions are solitary and feelings are
raw. Soon, with time, you almost feel the irony and coincidence as the
lessons reveal themselves.
The lessons are ripe, dangling heavily
from a tree, teasing you. You can pull them down or walk by. At a
certain point, privilege announces itself, you get another chance at
life, you saved your soul and you are infinitely better for it.
I was so touched by your email – I remember the beginning of my journey only vaguely now but I can promise you that you will feel better with time. Please check out “tool box” on myfamilyisnotbroken.wordpress.com (my other blog) because I have been told it has really helped people. make sure you take positive steps for yourself and don’t hang with negative people-find your cheerleaders and stick to them. And cheer for them too. keep me posted on your progress- I wish you all good things-nancy
I am 8 months into my separation and still feel lost, unhopeful. Your post reminds me that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. As an expereinced Divorcee said to me today “the only way to get past something, is to go through it”. Everyday is one step closer to getting through this.
wow. your writing is raw and beautiful. i look forward to reading more.
You are such a beautiful writer and have such wonderful talents. This along with your huge heart and wisdom. Sign me up for when you start teaching life skills.
TOTALLY agree! Especially the part about recognizing “…you get another chance at life, you saved your soul and you are infinitely better for it”.
Just wish my “perfectly married friends” would be more understanding at times – unless they’ve been exposed to divorce I’ve often found some of them rude, insensitive and gossip mongers.
You are amazing, Nancy. And I think whatever your circumstances in life this is a great philosophy. Truly inspiring.