Let’s lighten it up people! It’s been a deep week over here with postpartum, life journeys and Bill O’Reilly! Thought I’d give you a few Wiil’ism’s that happened this week. A couple made me think how screwed I’m going to be in the future because this kid is not only a smart-ass but he’s got the brains to back it up! Good thing he’s cute or I’d sell him off to a band of gypsy’s or maybe to be a roadie for the Insane Clown Posse. The last one is just something he says that cracks me up…and I want to know what your kids say too.
This week, Will was ‘Student of the Week’ in his daycare class…
In case you can’t read it – he gets to be the special helper (do more chores), carry the clipboard (be a sherpa), pick out the book at story time (hope they all like cars) and bring in a special toy on Fridays. Now it’s all good except the toy part. Everyday that kid tries to bring his crap to school. Everyday it’s a wahhhhfest when I try to get him to leave it in his cubby. He’s also spent the week taking everyone’s toys and walking away from them and giving a look over his shoulder like, ‘god, can you even challenge me on this?”. This morning I told him as a special treat he got to pick a toy that he COULD take to school – talking Lightning McQueen it is (sorry teachers…please feel free to throw it under a steamroller for me). But when we got out of the car, he tossed it on the floor and ran into the classroom. SCORE. FI figured it was best left there. But after he took off his hat and started to walk in the class. He stopped dead and started to WAIL for Lighting McQueen. Ugh…how the eff did he remember that?? So, I left him and the talking car in the class and bolted.
Story 2 – Cue to my sisters house and Will, Suzanne and I are hoovering back our Swiss Chalet. Will stops eating and talking and looks up and squeezes out the loudest, adult sounding fart you’ve ever heard. Pause…and then he starts howling. As my office mate just said, that’s there for life now, it’ll never get old. He’s TWO!
Story 3 – and I need your stories on this as well. Will loves trucks. All kinds of trucks – dump, cement mixer, ice cream, garbage – you get the picture. But he also loves big trucks. When he sees one, he generally yells in a deep voice with his face all screwed up – ‘Big Truck’. But you see, his ‘tr’ comes out as a ‘c’…so it sounds like…well, if he was yelling for a giant rooster (are you catching my drift here?). It kills me everytime – maybe because it’s my least favourite word for the male anatomy. My nephew used to say his ‘f’s as ‘b’s so instead of fishing – he’d go bitching. Endless hilarity at the dinner table – ‘What do you use to go fishing?” – “A bitching pole.”… ohh kids.
So what do your kids say that crack you up…come on admit it!!!
the snake of a poop thing is killing me…so hilarious….
Toys that make noise (ie. ones with a speaker in them) should be banned! My brother had a VERY noisy fighter jet and we put duct tape over the speaker to make it a bit quieter. When it ran out of batteries we just “hmmm…guess it’s broken” to him.
Now he’s the frontman of a heavy metal screamo band. I guess making noise never gets old…
HAHA
My son is recently potty trained and thinks that everything that comes out of his bum is absolutely hilarious. He shouts POOOOT! each time he farts (and then howls with laughter), and offers very detailed descriptions of every poop (“Mum, look at that giant snake of a poop!”). The best one this week, though, was when he saw an ant on the floor near his bedroom and came shrieking down the hall “Mum! There’s an ant! In the house! IT’S LOOKING FOR OUR BLOOD!”
Hey Sara,
I read your blog religiously, I laugh, cry but never post. This time I had to. So Dean is 20 months, and the things he does cracks me up. He is having some speech delays, so we have a whole bunch of toys for blowing (microphones, bubbles etc). He’s been pretty avoidant, so the other day I see him with the harmonica in his hand and he’s humming “Hmmmm”, he’s also just out of the bath, so I run over to catch him before he does his standard pee BESIDE the potty and he has the harmonica at his “pee pee” and is humming and laughing his head off…I can’t predict what these boys will do….keep us laughing that’s for sure
My eldest (now 11) couldn’t say “L” as a toddler, and replaced his “Ls” with “Ds”. One day driving home from daycare I saw him licking his chapped little lips, and told him not to do that. “But Mommy, I dike to dick my dips” he replied. Still cracks me up!