I’m freaking out right now. Why? Because my husband is "touching up" the entire house. In other words, THERE’S WET PAINT EVERYWHERE IN MY HOUSE RIGHT NOW — except in the monkey’s room…she’s napping.
Grrrrrrrr….
I leave the house for 20 minutes to buy New Baby a floor mat for the nursery, and I return home to FUMES? Like, exCUSE me?!
I could not have been more pissed off. Touching up New Baby’s room? Fine. I can deal. There’s a window in there. But, the ENTIRE downstairs? Where almost none of the windows open? BITCHES! SO, UNFAIR!
So, now, not only is my breathing limited because of my HUMONGOUS BELLY and SWOLLEN NOSE. But, the little air I CAN breathe is totally fume-filled. Thanks a freaking lot. BITCHES, I SAY!
(FYI, I’m not calling YOU "bitches." You know that, right? It’s just another wee expletive of mine. And, I’m really not sure where I got it from. Just making sure — because it’s REALLY EASY to be misunderstood in writing. I’d never call you "bitches"! I WUV you! TEARS!)
Anyway, I’ve now plunked my sorry bitter arse down in the only place in my house that’s not painted: my basement. Fun times. I’m sitting on a futon with my kitty Tigger curled up in a ball beside me. My macbook’s sitting on a pillow on my lap, and it’s bouncing up and down because Baby has the hiccups…!
I want chocolate.
I’m a (barely) walking, talking, typing incubator.
Indigestion plagues me in the night.
I almost pee in my pants every time I sneeze.
My cats are obsessed with me.
And, I with them.
My little monkey has daddy-itis.
My nose is uggers swollen.
I have pins and needles in my fat fingertips.
I smell paint.
…Of course, I only got to writing about how pissed off I am right now after checking the internet to see if it’s okay for me to be around fresh paint when I’m preggers. BAD, HALEY, BAD! I know I’m not supposed to look up these kinds of things on the internet because there’s ALWAYS going to be a site that says what I’m looking up is BAD BAD BAD! And, even if there are 20 sites that say paint is okay, it’s that ONE teeny tiny nothing site that says paint is BEYOND HARMFUL AND DEADLY AND AWFUL that drives me to the basement of my house where there’s nary a fume. Sigh….
Actually, I’m literally FORBIDDEN to use the internet to ease my anxiety or answer my quirky questions. Forbidden by my prenatal-depression psychiatrist, my psychologist, by the assistant director of Motherisk, my family doctor, husband, mother, father, and I’m pretty sure Ali forbade me during my first pregnancy (insisting that I go to her instead — so, I went to her…A LO-HO-HOT!)…….
A-NY-WAY….
If you’ve been to The Cheaty Monkey lately, you know that I’ve been struggling to get through each day physically. My hands and feet are so swollen now that they’re numb and pins-and-needly. But, as I have written (please see HERE), it’s all worth it. As lethargic as I feel, and as painful and uncomfortable as it is for me to do ANYTHING right now, it’s all worth it. I know it’s best for the baby to stay put. So, sure, I do a TON of COMPLAINING (totally for fun) on all my blogs, but there’s no self-pity here! No eagerness for baby to come TODAY — unless s/he is ready.
ONLY 12ish DAYS to go!!! And, probably even LESS than than that because my OB predicts I’ll go about 4 days early (because that’s what happened with the monkey), or even a wee bit earlier because it’s my second pregnancy.
Of course, EVERY HOUR I feel like I’m going into labour. I’m getting those pre-labour contractions, the odd Braxton Hick (at night), and other strange symptoms…, like dots all over…?
Still, my belly’s pretty high…. Check it! (Pics from the Jewish High Holidays — I had to get dressed up!!! Can you imagine? But, as you can see, I was NOT going to wear dress shoes…flip flops it was!):
I smell paint….
I definitely plan on breastfeeding, and I’m really hoping it goes well from the start. I breastfed the monkey for one year. And, that was enough for both of us. But, it’s not enough for everyone — CHECK THIS VIDEO! It’s HI-larious!!:
Heeeeeee! Are you laughing HYSTERICALLY at this? BITTY!!! HAH!
So, maybe I’ll get one more pregnancy-blog post in before IT’S TIME? And, maybe not…. Either way, I will KEEP YOU POSTED! Check in here, and at THE CHEATY MONKEY for more preggers deets.
And, for a little gossip escape, check CHEATY’S CELEBRITY GOSSIP!
LOVE!!!
XO HALEY-O
I hate the paint fumes and I am not pregnant. 🙂
Can’t wait to see pics of the new little guy and big sister. Make sure you get Josh-o or Ali to post for you.
As for the breastfeeding it will come as it may. Just go with the flow (pun intended) and all will be well.
bitty hahaha!baby will come when ready.anyways its almost time.so it wouldn’t be too early if baby did decide too come now.i’m glad none of mine were late.i’m too impatient to have to wait that long.so about 1.5 weeks to go right?!
K, as an almost former LLL Leader I’m really mad they did that video. Course I get mad whenever someone makes a joke about breastfeeding. Why can’t folks just accept that this is the way our bodies are designed…moms make milk for our babies as long as they need it. sorry for the vent
hang in there kiddo…these 12 days will fly by.
You’re so close!!! How exciting. And, that incubator feeling is the WORST. I know people say it’s easier with the baby in there than out, but whatever. Exhausting!
I’m sure the paint is fine. I painted our condo when I was due with my son and it was fine. (it was latex paint).But, the smell … ick!
By the way, my doctor said the same thing to me today – do not research stuff on the internet – it’s way way way too stressful, and isn’t necessarily right.
PS I love that Josh-O is nesting! If he runs out of rooms to paint please feel free to send him over to our house.
For sure- don’t get sucked into that “you’re going early” crap. they thought I would be early too- My second was 2 weeks overdue, and I had to be induced. Totally sucked.
Rockin’ Rosh Hashanna dress by the way!
OMG! OMG! That video was freakin’ HILARIOUS!! The Brit’s sure know how to do comedy! Phew…tears from laughing.
You are getting so close! Very exciting! Do not get sucked in to the “you’re going early” thing. I had a friend who was 3 weeks early with her first two and nearly 2 weeks late with her third. She felt like she was 5 weeks late! Keep us posted if anything happens.
OMG! OMG! That video was freakin’ HILARIOUS!! The Brit’s sure know how to do comedy! Phew…tears from laughing.
You are getting so close! Very exciting! Do not get sucked in to the “you’re going early” thing. I had a friend who was 3 weeks early with her first two and nearly 2 weeks late with her third. She felt like she was 5 weeks late! Keep us posted if anything happens.
I’m surprised that the OB predicted a timeframe as specific as “4 days early”. With my first, I had been to the OB 2 hours before my water broke (11 days early). At the appt she said, “I doubt it will be anytime soon. First pregnancies often go late.” With my second, she said be prepared for fast and early. He was both. She said the same for the third and the little bugger was fast, but one day late! As the OB said, “shows what we know”!
I would be THRILLED if my husband would break out the paint and do touch-ups. It would even be worth getting pregnant again if it’s the nesting thing that is required. I’m kidding. Or am I? Yes, I am. Really.
Don’t worry about the paint my dear. You would have to be doing the painting yourself in a sealed house for several hours a day everyday for it to be problematic. And I hear ya on steering clear of self diagnosis over the Internet…lord knows I need to stop googling my various aches and pains and anxieties 🙂
OMG, Haley, that video was soooooooooo hilarious! “I want bitty…” The actor must have known a nursing toddler – he nailed the part! ROFLMFAO right now!
And don’t worry too much about the paint fumes. Maybe when the time comes they will have dulled your nerve endings enough to act as an anaesthetic in labour?
JOKING! JOKING!