After completing my happy dance when I found out I was carrying a boy, one nagging thought entered into my head. Who the hell was going to teach this kid to pee standing up??? Okay, maybe it’s ridiculous but I kid you not, I think about it.
You see, I’m not good at it – the whole ‘going to the can but not on a can’ thing. It’s not for me. I went on an Outward Bound mountain climbing trek a few years ago and I was the joke of the camp. I always had to erect some sort of makeshift toilet in order to go without stripping naked. I think it goes back to camp when I was little and I tried to pee outside during a camping trip and I ended up going all over my only pair of undies.
So the boy – how would he figure out this manly trait of peeing standing up? Would he be one of those guys who HAS to find a stall (and you know who you are)? Would he miss out on the male bonding ‘sword fights’ at the hockey rink? The answer is a resounding no.
The second this kid’s diaper is off, he stands up and pees. And I mean the second! Lately he’s taken to sticking his belly out like an old man and doing it. He finds it hilarious. Will he sit on the potty? Of course not! I’ve traumatized him by having him puke in the potty bucket – classic case of diassociation I think.
Sunday night, he took this to a new level. While I was running our bath (my new favourite part of the day…and his too!) he got naked and usually he runs around chatting to me the whole time. But Sunday night, all was quiet which almost certainly leads to bad news. After the tub, we sat down to read ‘Go Dog Go’ for the 4 millionth time and I look down to see the results of the silence. A big load of poop. On the floor?!?!?!?! Apparently when he was naked, he stopped crouched and pooped. Not sure laughing was the appropriate response, but I couldn’t stop. If it was me, I would have to of made a makeshift toilet out of his stacks of books and multiple stuffed elephants.
**maybe I should start wearing rubber boots like Will did this weekend…I remember when we got these as a gift and I thought it would be years before he wore them. Luckily I remembered about them or he would have outgrown them before he ever wore them!**
I would have to agree there, couldn’t have said it much better myself.
I no what you mean.I have a son to and 4 the longest time that all I could think about,think God 4 my brother.lol
Cheerios! I like that…when we get to the full on training stage, I’m going for that. Maybe older guys should keep a box next to the toilet, might make for neater seats? The sword fights…umm…just tales I heard from my buddies in high school – isn’t it a rite of passage or something?
Hilarious. I’ve lost count of the amount of times I had to rush into a shower because my daughter peed in the tub during her bath… I guess I’ve got it relatively easy!
Have you tried the Cheerio in the toilet? Guys just need a target.
And I can’t comment without addressing the obvious… “Male bonding ‘sword fights’ at the hockey rink”? WTF?!?
Sara, your post is too funny! Boys and the toilet- so yucky. Even at five they still miss the toilet and I am constantly cleaning up pee from the floor. Ronan once pooped in the bath – with me in there with him (AT AGE 1). Grossest thing ever! Ohh well. Moms have a huge gross factor tolerance – don’t we?