One of the biggest challenges of being a mom entrepreneur is the serious lack of free time. Even though I am at home all day with my family I find doing meaningful mommy stuff really hard now that I have two kids. I have more laundry, more responsibilities and a new business that seemed to be taking over my life, but, I am trying really hard to find the time for me and my family. It ain’t easy.
I know that we can’t shield our children from learning that Facebook and Twitter exist. How can my children not know that they exist when I am on these addictive tools frequently. I just wish somehow I did a better job of hiding it so that they didn’t know about it until they were older and less impressionable (yeah right). Why do I feel like this? Not sure. It is not like I am smoking crack but still I want to be the mom in my dreams. Can’t help it.
I also know that my son loves the idea of having his own cell phone at age 6 because of me. I almost always have my i-phone close by. It is my life line. It is the tool that helps me return emails on the run and promote my business. How the hell can I do it all without my sweet, sinful, smart phone.
Sometimes the multitasking gets to me. I feel like my brain is always going but my body is not moving. I want to be outside running and playing with my kids more – that is one of the reasons I was inspired to leave my job . I want to be jogging, walking, hiking and in touch with nature more often. I dream that this day of balance will come. But my dreams need me to take action. TO SCHEDULE THIS SHIT INTO MY LIFE.
One of the questions you have to ask as a mompreneur is “Do you want a part time or full time business?”. I never thought to ask this in the beginning. I just worked my ass off and next thing I knew I was pretty much carrying full time hours. So I decided to scale back a bit. I am setting more boundaries to my time now.
So here is my list of things I am changing:
- I am going to schedule my work time as best I can and try to stick to it.
- I am going to schedule weekly exercise time outdoors (far from my frigging phone and computer) with and without my family. I need to be alone sometimes too.
- I am going to work in my office and not all over the house. I think I will have more clarity that way and be more comfortable and hopefully find what I need easier.
Let’s see if I can keep this going.
CALLING ALL MOMPRENEURS: If you are a mompreneur (bloggers are mompreneurs by the way), I would really love to hear what you are doing to keep your sanity as you balance motherhood and your business. Your tips could help other moms just starting out like me 🙂
Title Foot Note: My wise five year old son asked me why adults are always on cell phones. His exact words were “Mommy Cellphones control people like aliens do.” Very wise. Made me think. It is crazy how much things have changed in five years. Five years ago a laptop was a luxury and phones were not at our bedside. Does technology control you?
Leigh, I’ll say, “right” to make you happy, but honestly, most of the time I feel completely overwhelmed and I’m doing my best not to be all stabby and resentful. Like I said, I’m trying to remind myself that this is really a short time in life, that they’re only small once in their lives, and that there WILL be a time for me to work at the things I love again… it’s coming. Until then, I’m hunkering down in the corner with a bottle of Cab Sauv and praying for daylight. (And when it comes, please don’t comment on the dust bunnies…)
*snickers* I’m joking! (Mostly.)
Darcy
I love all this “seasoned mom” stuff – I can use every bit of advice. LOL.
I really think sometimes life would be easier if we lived in a less digital age but at the same time it allows us to so easily work from home and be with our kids.
I agree that Super Mom doesn’t exist. Sometimes I think I try a bit too hard to do it all but I love being involved in my son’s school life but some days it is a lot to take on. I have had to scale back on volunteer work this year. Just too much.
Sharon that is such a good reflection – life is short. Enjoy it best you can. I am glad to hear that we all feel the same way.
Tracey – that is me – I already messed up goal number three and am back at my kitchen table because the laptop was there – hubby checking FB!
I totally know what you mean about the distractions. It is so hard to accomplish things with 2 kids a foot but I totally agree with you. This time is short lived so just have to appreciate it and know the stress as it is now won’t last forever right? PLEASE SAY RIGHT. LOL. Thanks for sharing Tracey!
Ohh we are all slaves – what can we do. There is no perfect solution – no matter what we do life of being a mother keeps our lives crazy! Thanks for sharing.
Oh Leigh, I soooo hear you on this. I had a business that I had to close before my second child turned 1… I just found it impossible to keep up with the demands of children/house AND a home-based business that was largely seasonal, but hard to make any real money without help like family around. I wish I could have afforded a cleaner to come help.
Now, I find the trouble is my workspace is in the kitchen, which of course is the hub of the house. I think I need to move it from here eventually, in order to feel like I’m getting things done. There are too many distractions with the children and the messy house… and my youngest is still only at preschool 3 mornings/week, which isn’t nearly enough time to get the days worth of chores AND writing done. I find it hard to write in after they’ve gone to bed… not to mention it’s the only time I get to visit with my husband during the day…
Wow. That sounds pathetic. But? They won’t be small like this forever… I keep trying to remind myself that full-days school is but a short few years away. Years. YEARS! Oh, ack. I’m neither sane nor balanced. Please pass the wine…
Older Mom chiming in on this topic ;-). While I have always been fortunate to be able to spend a large amount of time with my kids from day one, I have also had to try and find that balance between being a “mom” while still working, being involved in their schooling and activites, taking care of a home, and pursuing my own interests. It’s never easy but I have learned a few things along the way. So, for what it’s worth (probably about the Canadian equivalent of a peso haha), this is what I would like to share:
If you plan your day or reflect on your day based on some vision you carry of the “supermom”, forget it. Supermoms don’t exist … but good moms do. And good moms drop the ball now and again and that’s ok.
Technology is ‘supposed’ to make our lives easier but all too often it’s convenient and intrusive nature just complicates our lives. It is easy to allow the ringing phones, constantly-filling inboxes and persistently bleeping updates to convince us that we, and our pursuits, are much grander and more important than we (and they) really are. People once stayed in touch, ran successful homes and businesses and raised terrific kids without the ‘help’ of technology … and that was only a mere decade ago. So, if technology is to fulfill it’s purpose of making things easier, we have to check in with ourselves now and again to make sure our behaviour is controlling the technology and not vice versa.
And lastly, despite a wealth of wonderful family, friends and co-workers who encouraged, supported and advised me along the way, the two very best barometers of my balancing act success and failures were (and are) my kids. For the past 20 years, they have been my most valuable and treasured teachers. They never fail to let me know when my perspective is off-kilter or when I am well-balanced or dropping the ball … and they do it all without even knowing they are doing it. 😉
Great post! I find this balance thing really difficult as well so I really love to hear that others are struggling with the fantasy of being the “perfect mom!!” I am a Full time Reg. Nurse, mom to 2 children ages 10 and 8, have a new business (Tren D Spa), have a home to take care of, a husband that I reintroduce myself to once in a while and on and on. Some days I think I am doing ok and then other days I just sit and cry and wonder what the hell was I thinking?!? I think the key is to forgive ourselves!! That fantasy mom is just that…a fantasy. Our kids are well taken care of by people who love them and who cares if there are dust bunnies under our beds. As long as we get rid of them before they become so large they can carry off our pets and children!! When I spend time with my family, it is quality time and we all treasure it!! I keep holding on to the thought that this will settle down soon but in the meantime, I take a bit of time just for me and try not to let the bad days overwhelm me!! 🙂
I think we’re all in the same boat. I’m a slave to the blinking light on my crackberry. We’ll be moving in a few months to a house that has a dedicated work space for me, and I’m hoping this will help me separate work and family. I think everyone’s definition of balance is different, and could even change from day to day. I find that scheduling is the key – even the fun stuff!
Well if you find it so relaxing, please, come clean my house! 🙂
Sounds like we carry similar schedules. I have a cleaning lady once a month but think I would be wise to move it up more frequently to keep up but it is hard to justify the cost. My little guy is a mess machine . Totally know what you mean. I clean every day (some small bit) and it never seems enough. It is the me time that is hard but Julie Cole made a great point – sometimes are work is me time. I do find that to be true in someways. Also I love to shop and clean by myself. That is sort of relaxing.. LOL
I have one in school half days and the other one naps while she’s at school. That’s my work time, as well as when they go to bed. Otherwise, I use my iPhone to answer emails when I can’t be at the computer.
I have piles of laundry and housework that needs tending. I’m seriously considering hiring a cleaning lady to come even once a month to give my house a good scrub down. It’s not that I can’t clean, it’s difficult to clean with a 2 year old making a mess behind me!
I need to schedule some weekly exercise time outside too, besides the walk to and from school!