Wow. I went shopping yesterday (totally, desperately needed to get new pants) and had an epiphany. There is a club of attractive, appropriately-sized people out there, and I’ve just been admitted into its ranks.
You know, I used to hear a lot about "fat discrimination", and I was sure it existed, but I never thought it applied to me. And no, maybe I was never turned down for a job or told "we don’t carry your size", but I now know that I have been excluded.
So there I was, at the GAP. I’ve shopped there before, with no traumatic results. But I’ve never been treated as well as I was yesterday. Despite the fact that I had a 2 and 3 year old with me, one of whom was crying/whining the whole time in her stroller, despite the fact that I made a bee-line for the sale section, despite the fact that the store was not empty, I felt positively fawned over. The store manager came over to give her opinion on t-shirts, jeans and cords. A young sales associate popped over to give his input on the chocolate brown vs. tan cords discussion (choc. brown was the verdict, if you wanted to know). The clerk in the changeroom made a point of complimenting me and offering to get me a smaller size (YES! A TWELVE!!!) of jeans. The manager (again) went out of her way to locate the right size cords in her computer and then went upstairs to the stockroom to get them for me. Other women in the store joked with me about "averting our eyes" from the POS display so we don’t end up impulse-buying the new Audrey Hepburn slim black pants. Evidently I look like the kind of woman who could legally pull off Audrey Hepburn slim black pants. Wha? When did that happen?
And it was all so…genuine.
I thought about it a lot yesterday afternoon, and I remembered my last shopping expedition to the GAP, last February. Couldn’t find a salesperson to save my life…rummaged around for size 16 jeans and XXL t-shirt…paid, and left, with no overtly rude remarks but certainly no out-of-your-way friendly behaviour, either. And it’s not just the GAP – I just feel like suddenly everyone takes me seriously now. Moms I never met last year approach me in the school yard, men make flirty jokes to me, even teenage sales clerks at PayLess pay attention to me. I. AM. IN. THE. CLUB.
And the baser side of me pumps a fist and says, YESSSSSSS!
The enlightened side wonders at how I never noticed it before, this pervasive prejudice, this lack of respect, towards fat people. And hopes that I won’t succumb to it myself…you remember, in high school, when all you wanted was to be popular? And then if you finally cracked the inner circle…you dumped your old friends. It’s the law of the jungle, right?
Hmmm…I’ll have to give this one some more thought – it’s a little too raw right now. In the meantime, I’m pleased and proud to be inducted to the club, and here’s hoping I never forget what it took to get here, or those other people suffering the "invisibleness" of being fat.
it must feel AMAZING to go shopping after losing so much weight!
I would I agree with Jen, state of mind matters. My aura can exude ‘stay away’ when I do not want to buy new clothes because I am carrying more weight than I am comfortable with. Therefore I am not very approachable. This weekend, you were on a mission & wanted to buy new clothes. The intuitive sales people caught the play and went to work.
I know what you mean–but in a different sense! When I was breastfeeding and at my largest, I was aghast at how tiny all the clothes were everywhere. I used to be a size 0…the world was my oyster. Then, all of a sudden, large T-shirts were too small! The only clothes I felt comfortable in were my maternity clothes! Anyway, contrary to what you’ve observed, I found the salespeople more attentive than ever–despite my size. See, it wasn’t because of my size, (obviously!). No. It was because I had a little baby in tow. I became part of the mother target market…. 😉 Part of a new club….
Now that I’m getting smaller, I’m happy I have more choices in the stores. But, the attention’s still as mega as ever because of the monkey….
I know what you mean–but in a different sense! When I was breastfeeding and at my largest, I was aghast at how tiny all the clothes were everywhere. I used to be a size 0…the world was my oyster. Then, all of a sudden, large T-shirts were too small! The only clothes I felt comfortable in were my maternity clothes! Anyway, contrary to what you’ve observed, I found the salespeople more attentive than ever–despite my size. See, it wasn’t because of my size, (obviously!). No. It was because I had a little baby in tow. I became part of the mother target market…. 😉 Part of a new club….
Now that I’m getting smaller, I’m happy I have more choices in the stores. But, the attention’s still as mega as ever because of the monkey….
Hmmm…interesting. I have to say that when I was at my biggest, which was really more chubby than “fat”, I definitely felt that I was treated differently. I am not sure whether it was partly because I saw myself as different – unatractive and self-conscious – which influenced how people reacted to me or if it really was because of the way I looked.
Food for thought, Kath…pun intended.