When I found out I was pregnant with Will I didn’t read any books. I remember telling my doctor that and he said if I would also not listen to my friends, I’d be his favourite patient of all time. I did spend a ton of time thinking about what kind of parent I wanted to be and how I was going to help Will be all that he could be and reach for any goal he wanted – from being an astro-physicist or a dog catcher….whatever he dreamt.
Lately in the news, there’s been a ton of coverage about the ‘Youngest To…’ referring to Jordan Romero, who at 13 summited Mount Everest and Jessica Watson, 16, who was attempting to sail solo around the world. I have to admit, both of these stories have left me questioning to what degree would I be willing to support Will on his dreams.
Beside the obvious physical risks to both of these kids, what about peaking too soon? Once you’ve climbed all of the peaks of the world by the time you’re 18, what do you aim for next?
I wasn’t allowed to go downtown Toronto by myself at 15 and Jessica is alone, in the Indian Ocean, in a boat that costs more than a Beverly Hills mansion and we’re supposed to cheer this on? I can’t, sorry.
I’d be curious to hear what you think because I think, actually I KNOW, I wouldn’t allow Will to do anything of the sort at that young an age. Climb Everest? Call me selfish but I’d like to see him graduate high school before he falls in an ice crevace and dies. Sail around the world? How about enjoying your teens before you get eaten by Moby Dick?
Am I selfish and paranoid? What do you think?
Will, youngest Kiss Roadie in history!
Legal highs… it’s a problem that won’t vanish until plain folk stop wanting to take drugs – why can’t the people in charge accept that, face up to it and legalise drugs completely? That way profits could go to the government and not the illegals.
I think you have to look at the individual child, their maturity level and what
they have been exposed to their whole lives. If this is a family that lives, eats
and breathes a particular sport, it is completely different than it would be
for a child who had not done this sport for long. We’ve all met or heard about those families who do things in a different than the rest of us. While sailing around the world at sixteen is a little extreme for me, it might not be for somebody else…I have more of a problem with people who take month old babies to third world countries hiking in the mountains or something…Now that I have a problem with because
A. I think it’s selfish B. Young babies are too vulnerable…but there
are those who do it and are proud of it…I happen to think it’s child abuse…go,
but leave the kid at home and stop living in your ego…
At sixteen, judge your child as you would judge anybody embarking on such
an adventure. Use the same criterian and then make a decision…
Hey CG_05….you waited and you picked the right one. Your argument is totally valid – and really well said. I need to have a coffee with your mom and have her set me right. I think it’s the terror of having your kid do something like that. I remember when I went to New Zealand, and my mom said do anything you want just don’t bungee jump. So I did it and showed her the video – she stormed off and wouldn’t talk to me for days. I couldn’t understand why, and now I do. The visual of Will chucking himself head first off a bridge is just too overwhelming to me. But – I’m going to keep your words in my head and maybe by the time he’s a teenager, I’ll be able to loosen the reigns!
Thanks for sticking with me!!!
I’ve been reading your various blogs since back in the day of your radio station “WTF?!” gig. I don’t have kids though and don’t really see myself having kids in the near future (or ever) so I don’t usually comment. However, this one is just calling for me to make my mark on!!!
Yes, climbing Mt. Everest and (attempting) to sail around the world are HUGE for anyone, never mind people this young, but, having never met these “kids”, can you make a fair judgement on what they can or cannot handle? Ages are general guidelines to judge someone by. For example not being able to drink until you’re 19 (or whatever age your local laws allow). I can think of MANY people over 19 who SHOULD NOT be drinking because they just can’t be mature about it. I also know there are people UNDER 19 who can maturely have one or two drinks, NOT drive, and call it a night.
To use a personal example: I went to Europe (ALONE!) between my gr. 10 and 11 school years (making me 16). I went for the whole summer. I’d never travelled solo, never been on an airplane, never been away from home for more than a week (and that was just a local summer camp), did not speak German, and hadn’t ever met some of the people I would be staying with. However, I was mature, I’d done some research, my parents trusted me, and I babysat my little sister the whole summer the year before to pay for the trip Yes, I drank when I was there (I was legal in Germany) but it never got out of hand and no harm was done. I had an amazing time meeting relatives and seeing where my Opa grew up. The trip boosted my self-confidence, opened my eyes to the wider world out there, and kicked off what is looking to be a life long love of travelling.
Could just any 16 year handle a trip like that? I’d say not! My mom told me later there’s NO WAY she’d let my 18 months younger sister do the trip at that age because she just wasn’t mature enough.
So, again, who are we to judge the maturity level of these young people? I say go for it and it’s great that they have the support networks they (and anyone else) would need to accomplish these major goals. As for what they will conquer when they’re 30…who knows?!?! The sky most certainly ISN’T the limit!!! 🙂
I agree, guys. When I heard the news stories about Jessica Watson I just thought, “wow – I wasn’t allowed to have the car out after 11pm at 16!” I was just thinking about how parents could balance the wants/needs of their children to achieve these feats with their responsibility to keep their kids safe (trying HARD not to judge other parents, here!) I never thought about the whole peaking too young aspect. But it’s a good point and something worth thinking about.
Also: don’t the experts always tell us that good parenting is about setting boundaries? I think “no circumnavigating the globe alone before you’re 18” is a VERY reasonable boundary.
But as Jen said, the apple never falls far from the tree. Her big bro did it at 17, and obviously these kids were raised in and around boats and in an adventure/danger-seeking family.
As a person with a relatively non-competitive nature, I will NEVER understand the drive some people have to be the first, the youngest, the riskiest…etc.
It is the whole culture of Bigger, Bolder, Faster, Sooner. If you climb Everest at 13 what do you do at 30?? And why? Why is it better then? It is all about pimping our kids to the media. Everyone is out for their 15 minutes of fame.
There is NO WAY my kids would be floating in the open ocean or climbing a mountain ALONE or even with me, for that matter, until they are fully functioning adults. Where do you think they got these ideas anyway? Nuf said.
Btw, LOVE the quote, Christine. Another message I often pass along to my VERY competitive daughter is that most people, including their mom, never got to be the best at anything but I am loved, extremely happy and successful.
HOWEVER – I love the quote:
“Don’t tell me the sky’s the limit when there are footprints on the moon”
We do encourage them to be the very best they can be and we try and teach them the value of hard work…
Because when the do their best and work hard – that IS good enough.
In a nutshell. I agree with you.
Does it sound weird that I’d like a life of mediocrity for my kids?
I don’t want Cam to play in the NHL. I want him to still enjoy going out once a week when he’s 40, playing a game of hockey with his buddies and drinking a beer after.
I don’t want Cuyler to be the next Bill Gates. I want him to be able to live independently.
I don’t want Eva to be a supermodel. I want her to have a great bunch of girlfriends who get together for weekends away and I want her to marry someone just like her Dad.
Maybe because of all we’ve been through I see the value in simplicity?