I used to think that happy babies were nothing more than urban legend.
My first two kids weren’t colicky screamers, but they were somewhat high maintenence babies. They needed lots of jostling and rocking and soothing and bouncing and they didn’t fare well with traveling or change or transitions. I just thought that was how kids were and if any Pollyannas out there started gushing about their happy, easy babies I had to fight the urge to knee them in their groins (the Pollyannas’ groins, not their innocent, happy babies’ groins.)
But then Brinley came along and now I think I need to knee myself in the groin. She is just the sweetest, happiest little baby I have ever met. She rarely cries, she’s even-tempered and just so darn pleased to be here. After our first two girls were so demanding (well, they’re STILL demanding) I am so thankful for a jofyul, bubbling baby and I don’t take her personality for granted (nor do I think her sweet nature is a result of my superior parenting). If anything, it’s been very freeing to realize that we, as parents, get no say in the innate personalities of our children. Some kids are happy bundles of sweetness, some kids are kind of little jerks. It`s our job to mold and shape their personalities, but I know now that having a “hard” kid isn`t their parents’ fault.
Did you see distinct personality differences between your children? In the Nature vs. Nurture debate, which side do you see yourself identifying with more?
I definitely think it’s 90% nature. I have 4 and they’re all SO different. I didn’t know 2 people could produce 4 completely different individuals! I thought certainly there would be more similarities!
You know, I have an unusual perspective because I have one adopted, one bio and two step kids. I’ve often said, if any one of these kids was my only–I’d have wildly different ideas of how good a parent I am. And the most challenging kid of the lot, by far, is my bio kid, go figure. As it is, I know I better work hard, but that a lot of things are just engrained in who they are.
I agree whole-heartedly, personality is luck of the draw, and although there are some parenting basics one should stick to: feed, clothe, keep basically clean, love . . the rest can be wildly different because every kid/parent personality combo differs so radically.
well, i am currently baking my first kid but i can say with certainty that i have seen the difference amongst my own siblings. we are like comparing apples, orange and bananas. same parents yet totally different people. couldn’t be more different if we tried.
both my boys (now ages 7 & 3) were and always have been angles, i would love to have another baby but i’m a bit worried that the 3rd time would be our little (well loved) curse.
sincerely,
pollyanna
p.s. not to worry, karma just kicked me in the groin-as i was about to click “Submit” my older son came flying out of the bathroom (when he was suppose to be in bed) and sheaked “THE TOILET IS OVER FLOWING!!” after further investigation i learned that he used HALF a roll of T.P.!!!!
I was going to say what Christine said…since I only have one it’s sort of a guess…but I wonder – since you and your hub are probably WAY more relaxed and laid back with number 3 if that reflects back on adorable Brinley. I know with Will – when I’m a basketcase, he’s brutal but the more relaxed I can be, the more fun he is? Dunno just a thought!
The best part is that you had the prior experience with the other two to know that she is, in fact, the happiest baby! I think it is much harder to start off having the happiest baby, only to have more babies who have more demands.
Oh I’m so happy for you. So. So. So. Happy.
Matthew and I wonder how our two children could have come from the same genes and household. They are so incredibly different.
My three girls couldn’t be more different. From looks to personality not one is the same. Brooklyn was the easiest baby for the longest time (until 2). Delaney was a difficult toddler but now at almost 12 she is sweet, and kind (and sometimes irritable and emotional). Avery is up and down, depending on the day. Your girls will grow into their intense personalities and will, as older children have great qualities that they can harness for good. I hope Brinley stays easy going for you. You deserve it.
Maybe it’s a “third baby” thing?
My third was by FAR my easiest, most content and happy baby (and she had a lot of reasons to not be!).
I can say that 4 years in – she continues to be. We could be in trouble in 10 years, but as of now – she’s a dream!
Brinley = adorable!