You know how after you have a baby you also have a messy house and a poochy stomach and dark bags under your eyes for a while? Well, I’m just wondering when the “I just had a baby!” excuse expires.
My house is still messy, my stomach still poochy and my bags as black as the (sleepless) night and I don’t see those things changing anytime soon. Are we supposed to just gradually pick up the pieces and return slowly to our former selves or does there come a time when we have to just buck up and say, “Enough!” and bite the bullet and start cleaning and working out and smiling through the pain of sleep deprivation?
How long are we allowed to wallow in the ways we’ve changed?
My youngest baby is just over four months old, and I’ve had three kids in four years. I have just started working out and eating sensibly. I have not slept through the night in almost five years. I am half-way through the course to get my real estate license. After hearing all that, I think, “Wow, there’s a lot on my plate and I’m doing a pretty good job of juggling it all.” But in the day to day grind, I so often feel incompetent, unorganized, unmotivated and exhausted.
When did you let go of the “I just had a baby!” line and feel as though you got things back to normal? (Or are you still milking it, even though your kid is 13?) Was it lots of work or did it happen naturally and gradually for you?
There will come a time when won’t be as chaotic. I promise. You know I’ve been there. You witnessed it. I’m so thankful for the ability to send my kids off to school in the morning. I know they love it and the quiet time at home gives me opportunity to do the things that got left while they were at home and little. For now…you JUST HAD A BABY! For real!
Love ya!
I have a 20 month old and a 2 month old and I feel like I’m in a constant spiral. I’m just hoping to regain a little bit of control by the time the little one turns 3.
3 kids in five years. my baby is now 2.5. I still feel shell-shocked, overwhelmed, sleep-deprived, pooch-bellied and largely disorganised when it comes to my food/fitness plans….my conclusion is that it’s going to be like this for a long time.
For me, a mom with four kids in five years, I had a moment where I made the decision and then a gradual process started, (kinda like salvation and sanctification). I went to the bus stop one morning in my pajamas and a hoodie, rushing to get Bella on the bus, one of those ‘I’ll never get the hang if this!’ days and the other moms said, you could run out here in your underwear and we’d still give you props. That’s when I realized I had been settling and what I want is excellence. Since then I’ve been working on getting from where I was to where I want to be. And I think it will always be a process. The house doesn’t get as messy when everyone spends 7 hours out if it, but then you have to juggle the world of school. But a great perspective is that life is about process and not perfection!
My oldest is 17 and I’m still holding on to the saying. The pressures and the stress don’t disappear, they evolve!
The change came for me last spring, so about four years after my daughter was born. My son was almost two, and yeah – black bags, poochy everything, clothes didn’t fit properly, hair was a ridiculous mess, glasses smeared with toddler drool, etc, etc. But then we opted in for a family trip to Jamaica, near the ocean and a swimming pool, and I didn’t know how to swim. I was worried about keeping my kids safe near the water at our villa. So, I found 45 minutes a week to take swimming lessons. And then my body started to change, and my energy improved (along with my patience, tolerance and sanity). I started reading (and writing) mom blogs, and learned a lot more about how to have an actual life with kids. And then I hammered out a life list of all the things I want to do, fun things – exciting things, before my time is up here.
I still feel really tired, sometimes. We still have our share of sleepless nights. But getting out to swim, or go for a run is the best kind of meditation for me. Also? Now I’m planning to do a 10k run in March and a mini-triathlon in May. I would never have DREAMED of doing anything like that a year ago. When you’re ready, it might be good to just find an hour to do something good for your body. It really can make things so much better.
I’m planning on using the “I’ve had 3 kids in 2 years, and two are twins” FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE.
I’ve had three kids in four years. – I can’t get past this line and the fact that you’re standing upright and functioning. Seriously, I bow to you – I feel you can use this excuse for the next 15 years at least.