I used to (not so) discreetly roll my eyes and softly gag when I heard other mothers say things like, “I had to pack up all the little onesies he’s already outgrown and I’ve been crying about it ever since” or “this is just going way too fast; I wish she could stay this little forever!” because I could not relate. With my first two kids, I was always looking forward to the next stage. I got caught up in thinking It Will Be Better When….
It will be better when she’s sleeping through the night.
It will be better when she can walk.
It will be better when she can hold her own bottle.
It will be better when she can play by herself and not need me to entertain her all day long.
It will be better when she’s in school.
I didn’t take much time to enjoy the moments I found myself in and was instead always straining ahead, clinging to the hope that the Next Thing would be better.
But that has changed since this time around. Brinley is our last baby and she has changed my perspective immensely. Instead of just enduring the newborn stage, I have been basking in it. Sure, I’m exhausted, but there is something so deeply profound about holding her in my arms, knowing she’s simply getting bigger everyday and I’ll never have a baby this small to snuggle ever again.
So, I’ve become one of those mothers I used to roll my eyes at: I wish I could freeze time right now and keep her this little forever. Gag if you must, but I get it now.
So true, and still holding true for me…this last year before my last baby puts on a backpack and totes a lunch kit to kindergarten next year. I still haven’t even tried to correct that she says, ‘bemember’ instead of ‘remember’ because…well, you undrstand. So glad you are enjoying this time with your baby!
Is it okay I feel this way about my first baby, because I have a second on the way? Sometimes I feel like the worst mom to this boy in my belly, because it’s still all about my first born girl. I’m in love with her, everything about her, and I feel like holding on to every single moment I have left with her as my only baby. All too soon we will be 4 and she will have to share, and I want her to know I love her more than life itself. I literally breathe her in every chance I get and we tell each other all day long I love you. Actually, this may be the best it ever gets because I just want to melt into the floor when she says 50 times a day, “Momma? I wuv you soooo much! In the whole world! More than everbody else!” SWOON.
This pic is BEAUTIFUL!! And I understand too… I’ve been wishing away all the stages, just waiting for them to be bigger… totally guilty. I should stop that. I’m watching my two year old become less and less of a baby every day, and it’s crazy how she’ll never ever be this way again. Wow.
Every time I pack up something of my son’s I cry, he is also my last baby. I can’t even walk through the baby department at ToysRUs without welling up, looking at all the little things I will never need again. I was blue for two days when I packed up his baby bottles about a month ago. It is a deep sort of sadness that I really didn’t think anyone else understood – thanks for posting this. And for making me cry 😉
I don’t know what I’ll do when I have my last. I was boo hooing tonight over my older kids (5 & 3.5 year olds) and tightly holding my new one in my arms. If I never put her down maybe she won’t join the mutiny my others have started with their lack of baby fat, and their fledgling eye rolling, and ever so knock-kneed stances. I comfort myself with the idea that we’ll have more, but with my children aging as fast as they are I’m even more shocked at how old I’m getting! Yikes! I’m no Michelle Dugger, so who knows what baby will be my last. It could be this one. And now I must go gather up my heart pieces off the floor, and remember, as every one always reminds me, to enjoy this time, it is going by way to quickly.
Exactly the same for me. I was never really into babies, always looking ahead instead of enjoying that time, but with this one, knowing I won’t hold a bundle that small again? *snurf* I totally get it.
No gagging here, maybe just a little (a lot) of baby envy and understanding!
Awwww!!! That photo is my absolute favorite EVER. I’m glad you’re enjoying this stage! Newborn is my favorite stage ever. After that, I’m always in a “hurry” too. 🙂
Beautiful.
Lovely post. I wish that I felt the same way. The baby stage was a hard one for me. Not days that I would like to relive. My youngest daughter is now 8 years old. I’m now feeling those pangs of wishing that she could stay young forever. The way she still cuddles in my lap and adores my kisses is so precious. I hope that will never change.
I get it too – my 2nd/last is 5 months old and I find myself wanting to freeze her on a daily basis. I cannot get enough of her little chubby cheeks and soft fuzzy jammies. When she wakes in the night my annoyance quickly melts into sweet snuggles 🙂
YOU MADE ME CRY. Because I get it too. 🙂
I totally get it, Amanda. I was the same way with #1 but with my second, who I knew would be my last, every stage was heartbreaking on a level I never experienced with my first. It is still that way but now I see it with both of them a bit more. They are Big Kids now and there is no going back.
Beautiful picture.