I remember a beautiful morning the first year I was separated-one so warm and full of promise I could not wait to open the windows and let spring inside. The outside world sent me a sight both hard and sharp. There were dads (husbands) on every lawn, mowing, pumping tires and cleaning yards. It was a typical spring sight on our street but it made me lonely and tired. Anything and everything I needed to do I would be doing alone. Not only that, I love a man in shorts and a t shirt fixing and doing- that has always been a beautiful sight for me.
No one in my house was shaving their face, shopping from the left side of the Gap or unpacking the car. At night, when I crawled into bed I could chose either side. There was no deep voice, no big shoes and no one to unscrew the toughest jar.
I was overwhelmed but I had no regrets. I put on my t shirt and shorts and went outside and mowed the lawn.