Hello, all you beautiful folks out there in Blogland! I’m Lara David, and you can usually find me writing at my own cyber-home, Life: The Ongoing Education. Ali asked me to do the honors of a Hot Topic Friday here at Fabulous – she said I’d be “just perfect” for it. I think that’s a compliment.
In preparation for my debut as Ali’s stand-in, I got to thinking about what really makes a topic “hot.” Given my readings of some Fabulous archives, it seems to be any topic that isn’t often discussed in a public forum. So I brainstormed. Underwear? Already been done. Ex-boyfriends? Hmmm, maybe too soon after a broken engagement for me to treat that subject lightly. Grooming of the nether regions? Whoa, is that really how I want to be remembered by a bunch of people who’ve never read me before?
Eventually, I thought to myself, “Self, what is a part of your daily life that you don’t generally discuss with other people?” Opting not to tell you about my bowel movements, I came up with today’s Hot Topic: daydreaming.
Daydreaming is one of these things that seems ordinary and expected when we’re little kids, but weird when we’re adults. It’s something we supposedly “grow out of” as we learn to face reality with grim acceptance. But frankly, I think that’s a load of crap. And let me say right now that I’m not talking about new moms who “daydream” about a few more hours of sleep, or businessmen who “daydream” about finishing their to-do list. I’m talking about crazy, out-of-this-world, fantastic daydreams. I suspect that more adults have these kinds of daydreams than we realize. And I will proudly admit here and now that I, Lara David, daydream.
What about? Oh, lots of things…
My father died when I was 16. I sometimes daydream that instead of dying he was actually taken to a secret government laboratory where a secret cancer cure was being developed, and after 8 years of testing, he is now cancer free. As I walk out to the my car to go to work, or dance rehearsal, or a date, I sometimes imagine him watching me from behind the darkened windows of a non-descript vehicle, while a government agent briefs him on my life. I imagine his reaction as he hears about my accomplishments over the last 8 years, as he learns who the 25-year-old Lara really is. I also imagine his complete lack of comprehension that Arnold Shwarzenegger is now Governor of California.
Sometimes, when I’m driving alone somewhere, I practice the conversations I’ll have with Oprah after I’m a best-selling author. I’ll be so clever and amusing that I’ll become famous for more than just my writing – I’ll be a style icon, a highly sought-after inspirational speaker, and, of course, George Clooney’s young and trendy new wife. I’ll write a best-selling novel that I’ll go on to adapt into an Oscar-winning screenplay, and, of course, the casting directors will see from the start that no one could play the part I’ve written better than I could, and soon I’ll be an Oscar-winning actress too.
Oh, and who could forget the daydreams about winning $60 million in the lottery. (Why $60 million? I don’t know – I just picked an arbitrarily high number.) I think about how much I would give to my mom and my sister, what gifts I would buy for my close friends. I think about buying my dream house, which would be far too big for me right now, but somehow I’d survive. I think about taking friends on a trip to Europe and enjoying all the luxuries that “economy” travel just doesn’t allow. Mostly, I think about being able to do whatever I want with my time, without having to worry about salary requirements or health benefits or vacation days.
I think about these things as I lie in bed at night, I think about them during down times at work. So tell me – am I the only one who does this? If you daydream, what do you dream about? If you don’t, when did you stop and why? And most importantly, should I hide my face in shame for having admitted this on the internet for all to see?
Let me know. Soon. I don’t deal well with suspense.
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Before I sign off, I’d just like to say thanks to Ali for letting me keep the place warm for her. If you’d like to read more of my nonsensical rantings, please feel free to visit me at my regular hideout, Life: The Ongoing Education.
Jackie says
I am a big dreamer. I also dream about hitting the lottery and helping my parents out with all their responsibilities. Mostly though, I daydream about having children someday. I spend a lot of time thinking about how I’ll tell my husband and our families, and how I’ll let my girlfriends know. Then I think about the whole pregnancy (which may be destructive since I may not be able to get pregnant – but sometimes I think about adoption too) and the birth and the great times afterward.
Conveniently, I don’t daydream about the lack of sleep or tough times that go along with childbearing. I mean, what fun would that be?
Anonymous says
Oh man do I daydream. Lately I have dreams of how fabulous my own store will be when my handbag line takes off. I imagine how I will paint a different mural on every wall, how I will display fabric and handles, how I will tell everyone that the money they are using to buy their bag is in fact feeding a family in the Sudan, or saving the lives of children whose parents died of AIDS, and I imagine the look on that child’s face when a kind person says everything is going to be ok. Other times I imagine swaying back and forth like the pendulum of grandfather clock as I rock my first baby to sleep singing the songs my mom sang to me, wrapped in a softness that is my sleeping child. I imagine how my husband and I will take silent walks on October days like this, with a crisp bite in the air, and sunlight reflecting golden yellows and oranges so vivid the leaves seem to glow. I suppose my dreams are tangible, achievable, but what sweet joy I will know when they become my reality.
Guilty Secret says
Great post, Lara. It made me smile to think of you daydreaming about your dad saying, “Arnie? Seriously?”
I definitely daydream… mostly about things that might happen in my future… where I will live and what my life will be like etc…
KennethSF says
Since I’ve just come back from Paris less than 48 hours ago, I’m still daydreaming about walking along the Seine River’s edge, with Nortre Dame in the distance and the sidewalk artists’ and postcard vendors’ booths stretching endlessly along the bank. But in my daydream, I’m holding the hand of someone special.
Kath says
Ooooh yeah. I daydream. And not just about things that are achievable (although INCREDIBLY unlikely) like winning the lottery or writing a brilliant first novel and getting on Oprah. I do daydream about those things, too, but I also imagine that I am back in time at King Arthur’s court, or in ancient Egypt or Rome during the late Republic. Of course, I have all the knowledge of the future a person born in the 20th century would possess, as well as (somehow) a good working knowledge of Old English, ancient Egyptian, Greek or Latin…somehow I do always manage to converse!
Michelle says
I often daydream about winning the lottery especially when it gets to a really high amount. I can pass a whole commute that way and get off the bus smiling. I also daydream (at 36 years old) about Jon Bon Jovi….or maybe that is fantasizing….what exactly is the destinction?
Gledwood says
I used to be a terminal daydreamer when I was younger… actually still am
But when I got BADLY hooked on drugs I ceased daydreaming all together… never realized at the time…
but daydreams are also ambitions and plans
when you stop dreaming you give up on life
take it from one who knows!
Hanlie says
I just love daydreaming… My imagination can take me places where reality has no hold. I daydream about cruising down the Nile, living on a farm, winning the lottery, writing a best seller, being thin, having babies and being on Oprah.
A lot of those things are in my future!
Franz the mouse says
Yay, Lara’s feeling better!
I daydream all the time. I daydream I’m a turkey vulture soaring over the Santa Cruz Mountains, wings feeling every breeze, searching for the warm breath of air in which to rise higher. I daydream of being all alone in the sky at twilight as the lights in the valley below illuminate and the marine layer draws in thickly over the mountain ridges, and then of landing on a boulder in Castle Rock and falling asleep with the wind blowing through the trees.
I also daydream about developing an open source, high quality computational math software package that everybody would use for decades to come to solve cool engineering and science problems.
JillBe says
Funny, I mostly day-worry about winning the lottery, where would I spend the money, how could I choose, how would I keep myself from being selfish, what would be the ONE thing I could justify…
Beyond the day-worrying, a troublesome sort of daydreaming, I imagine lots of stuff, generally based in reality and floating off from there. It starts with a “what if” – often it’s in the car, and I’m thinking “what if I were driving a Mustang Convertible right now?…”, or “what if I were “with” so-and-so?” Inevitably my daydreams end me up in some happily ever after that turns into some kind of drama where life isn’t perfect, but I’m happy. You know, so the daydream is more plausible.
Maggie says
Hmmm…daydreaming…I would say that I do it ALL the time. I find it a great way to create the world in which I have all the things that I THINK I want. Although oddly enough I am usually pretty glad to get back to reality…
BetteJo says
Sure, I daydream. It’s one way I get myself to sleep at night, daydream myself into night dreams. It’s a great way to pass the time in the car, etc. So no, I don’t think hiding your face is necessary at all!
BetteJo says
Sure, I daydream. It’s one way I get myself to sleep at night, daydream myself into night dreams. It’s a great way to pass the time in the car, etc. So no, I don’t think hiding your face is necessary at all!
Maria says
I ALWAYS daydream about winning the lottery & what I’ll do once I’m rich. Other than that I daydream about my husband becoming a successful actor, us moving to LA, and about how I become great friends with Courtney Cox, Demi Moore, and other hollywood moms. Yes, I am a Dreamer!
Jen says
Funny. My sisters are both big daydreamers but I am more on the regular, every day, achievable fantasy. Like having a nap or watching TV uninterupted. I think I might be missing out.