My husband and I are completely honest with each other,about everything. And we’re very open and honest with the partners we’ve had. We think it’s the foundation to successful open relationships – truthfulness.
And yet, I lie to some of the people in my life I love most.
I lie to my mother when she asks what bar I went to on a Friday night. I’m not about to tell her it was a swinger’s club. I lie to my father when I tell him my husband is at hockey, when really he’s at his girlfriend’s house. Mostly, it’s the lie of omission. Not mentioning that my girl friend was actually, you know, my girlfriend.
You remember that pride you would get in a new relationship, introducing your loved one as your boyfriend or girlfriend? Or when you got engaged, how thrilling it was to say, “This is my fiancee,” rather than girlfriend, partner, etc.? In our relationship it’s rare that we can be so open and honest.
I’d like the world to be more acceptable of unusual love arrangements between consenting adults, but it’s not there yet.
It would be a wonderful thing to accept all people the way they are… I think the only way that changes is through exposure – the more people get used to seeing a new thing, the less shocked/bothered/scared they become. Time fixes that, I reckon.