This little piggy went to market, this little piggy stayed home. At this point in the season, how are your own piggies faring?
I will not cheat and just touch up my big toe.
I will sand down any mounds of skin before they turn hard and yellow.
I will shave the hairs off my big toe.
I will not live in corn denial; rather I will lean on my good friend Dr. Scholl’s if my feet need him.
I will take my toe ring off toward the end of the day if my toes swell and begin to look like Vienna sausages.
I will promise if I wear flip flops that I will ensure that they actually flip and flop, making the correct noise while walking and I will swear NOT to slide or drag my feet while wearing them.
I will promise to go to my local nail salon at least once per season and have a real pedicure (they are about $20 or $25 and worth EVERY penny).