I went to a screening of a tremendous documentary called HAPPY, this past week.
I have been drawn to the study of happiness for some time now, both because I am desperate to maintain and explode my own and extremely territorial over it. When someone or something tries to pull at my happiness I move away from it/them as an animal does for survival. Additionally, I want to help people close to me find their happiness (very much a discussion with teenagers when they choose their areas of study and futures) as well as friends in the middle of their life and people experiencing pain or change.
Since my separation I am constantly fascinated by what I call happiness no matter what. Happiness in the face of adversity is glorious, freeing and powerful. You are strong and undefeated. Interestingly, when the adversity slides it can try to pull the happiness away with it.
The problem is in time things flatten out and that challenge of three or five years ago doesn’t do it for me anymore. That is not the same thing as saying that my simple pleasures have changed- my happiness depends on overcoming obstacles and challenging myself so that the
simple pleasures stay sweet and rich.
I need to feed “my happy” rather than expect it to feed me.
It is gratifying to see the film Happy study happiness in a way that depression has long been studied. This movie aims to quantify, define and give keys to unlock the happiness in all of us.
Happy tells us that our happiness level is determined 50% by genetics, 10% by circumstance and 40% is left for intentional behavior. How can you deny your own power of intention?
The film talks of circumstance- in the study of people all over the world- happiness levels of someone making $5000 per annum v.s. $50,000 is vast. As you may guess at $5,000 per year we are so busy trying to survive that happiness eludes us. But interestingly the difference of happiness levels between $50,000 and $5,000,000 income levels is miniscule and in many cases happiness favours those at the lower income level.
In the film, of the 3 happiest communities in the world (as measured on a gross happiness index) two are poor and one is middle class.
Many of us get this. Money can enable but it can also disable if you are not extremely vigilant.
What is it that makes a group on average so much happier than another?
-Ability to recover from adversity quickly
–Flow – this is frequently being completely engaged in a singular activity that engages us deeply (cooking,singing, writing,playing, fixing things/problems, doing a sport or hobby; really working at anything we love with total immersion). This can be something simple or difficult. It is mindfullness.
-Personal growth
– Community – an involvement in something other than and bigger than ourselves. This is a connectedness to our community.
-Usefullness- impossible to describe as it is in everything we do if we are lucky and mindfull and generous.
In addition to putting all of the above into action, we are told to count our blessings, practice acts of kindness and make sure we have regular aerobic exercise. With all of these things, the experts tell us that the dopamine will pour into our bloodstreams in ways that will resemble a drug hit. I don’t know about you but I crave dopamine and am constantly after it like a junkie.
Please take a look at this trailer and tell me about what you do to make yourself happy.
How do you feed your happy?
“40% is left for intentional behaviour.”
Yes. I strongly feel I changed my life this way in my 20s. I decided to be happy, to give happiness and to let the rest go. It takes effort and conscious decisions but it is TOTALLY possible.
I must see this movie!
I loved seeing your smiling face in the playground too. And that emily of yours – love her-xoxox
Nancy,
seeing you in your lovley pink coat yesterday boosted my happy.
I find just the act of observing happy makes me happy.
Some unhappy folks can’t stand to see happiness around them and it can sink them further down but I find it always brings me up.
xo
i
lows are important- I for sure have them- I think you are amazing Sara. You know so much about yourself.
I think it is very hard Erin, to find that thing, that passion outside of your family and the work that provides for them, when you have very little people- don’t you think?
I can’t wait to see this movie Nance – thanks for bringing it up. I take conscious steps to work on my ‘happy’. I recognize what I need now when I’m not – usually it’s time alone to regroup – to remember what makes me happy. And to not put to much pressure on myself to feel happy. I recognize now that I have ups and downs (and less with meds) – but I allow myself to ride through the lows because I know the ups will be awesome!!!
PPS: I need to find that elusive “thing” you are talking about, the thing that will harness my passion in a positive way. Still looking.
PS: Desi, how do you get the accent on the e in Brene’s name?
I’ve read the same books that Desi mentioned (and a few more). I was reading Brene Brown’s book at the Sausage (you may remember Nance). Last year I was soooooo desperate to be happy and nothing was working. Not even the drugs my Dr. gave me. And I was working hard trying to be happy. I’m pretty sure that my depression was situational, too much bad stuff happening in a short time and not having the support I needed to get through it. In the end, I made the changes I had to to “survive” emotionally. But it took a long time to get there.
I haven’t heard of the movie until this post. I’ll probably have to wait to see it on DVD as we don’t have a theatre up here that show alternative films.
Nance. Thanks for sharing this. My wish is that everyone should see this movie. It speaks to the core of what makes life enjoyable.
you would love it- have to admit is twas a good cry too!
Love this. I’ve read The Happiness Project, and Brené Brown’s book on wholehearted living, and Ken Robinson’s book on happiness and creativity. Happiness and resilience are the goals for my family, but I’m skeptical of these step-by-step, workshop style approaches to happiness. Yes, we work at it. Yes, we need to feed our happy. Absolutely! I saw the TED talk about the making of this film, and I’m excited to see it. Hopefully there will be a screening in my neck of the woods, soon!