Gossiping in the Rain

Hi Gorgeouses!

We’re gossiping in the rain — what a glorious feeling! LOVE RAIN! Here’s what we’re gossiping about: REESE WITHERSPOON AND RYAN PHILLIPE officially over; GIA DE  LAURENTIIS in Maui; ANGELINA skinnier than ever; BRITNEY continues to spiral; and MORE!

check it!!!

REESE WITHERSPOON AND RYAN PHILLIPE ARE OFFICIALLY DIVORCED

That’s it, Gorgeouses. They’re done. No hope of the golden couple reconciling. They are done as in DUNZO, finito, shalom, adios. It’s a little bit sad. But, at least they can all move on now. Reese had filed for divorce back in November — citing irreconcilable differences…. Sadness….

GIADA DE LAURENTIIS SURFS IT UP IN MAUI

Didn’t recognize our most hated celebrity chef? Hated ‘cuz she eats carbs — Italian-type carbs — and looks like THIS?  Maybe you di-int recognize her because she’s outside the kitchen? Or, still MAYBE it’s because she’s wearing a high-cut top…maybe??
Photos, with thanks, c/o Splash.

You know, this one-handed typing really sucks. I’m putting Baby-O down NOW. In swing. Please hope with me that he lets me finish this post….! Please Baby-O! Mama needs to GOSSIP!

ANGELINA IS STILL SKINNY

You may have noticed that some of the mags have reported WEIGHT GAIN for Angelina Jolie. But, this recent photo — of the gorj star taking Maddox to Lycee Francais in NYC — shows something more like EVEN-MORE WEIGHT LOSS! Say hello to the new Nicole, Gorgeouses. This is getting SKELETON SCARY! Look at that forearm…. What’s up with this? What’s going on with her…?
Photo, with thanks, c/o Buzz Foto.

HALLE BERRY PREGGERS BLOSSOMING!

She’s filling out a bit, huh? Apparently, Halle and boyfriend Gabriel Aubry are going to go for a second baby asap — as soon as this baby’s born. She feels that, at 41, her clock is ticking, and they want a family of four. Sweet.

BRITNEY CONTINUES TO SPIRAL….

Photo, with thanks, c/o Buzz Foto.

The girl’s going DOWN DOWN DOWN hill — deepest hill I ever saw…. Check what Star Magazine says about her health now…:

As Spears’ life continues to spiral out of control, it seems her body
is paying the price as well. "Britney used to be fit and healthy and
weigh about 118 pounds," says Edward Jackowski, M.D., author of Escape
Your Shape. "Now she weighs about 160 pounds and has a triple chin, a
big belly and excess fat all over her body."
Britney, 25, is so
desperate to lose the pounds she’s packed on, says sources, that she’s
resorted to a potentially deadly diet cocktail of amphetamines,
diuretics and laxatives to flush out all the fatty foods she scarfs
down every day.
Britney’s new big body is the result of an
increasingly unhealthy lifestyle. "She’s lived off of drugs and alcohol
for a long time now," a source tells Star. "And when she eats, it’s all
junk — lots of greasy dishes and creamy sweets."

I still haven’t seen a picture that I KNOW is real of Brit with triple chins. But, it’s ABUNDANTLY clear that the girl loves her junk and fast food.

I know this is old news and everything, but I don’t think we’ve EVER seen a celeb dive like this — from top of the world to THIS bottom of the bottom. It’s historical, really. I can’t imagine what it’d be like to be Britney right now. She so needs go away for a while and get some perspective, give up the sex-symbol dream and take sophistication lessons or something. It’s super sad and horrible already.

And, apparently, Brit really likes those boots….

…And, she’s the only woman alive who can achieve The Camel Toe in a sundress. Yikes!

SPENCER IS MAKING A MINT OFF HEIDI!

CALLING ALL THE HILLS FANS!!! Ever wonder what Spencer Pratt does for a living — seeing as he sits on his sneaky little arse in his apartment all day while girlfriend Heidi Montag cuts throat at the Bolthouse offices? HE MAKES MONEY TIPPING OFF THE PAPS!!! Apparently, he’s made over $100,000 just by telling the paps where they can find him and Heidi. Loser. Heidi supposedly knows little about Spencer’s agenda and thinks it’s good for the show, blah blah. She thinks he’s helping things — and has NO IDEA what kind of money he’s making from HER. Wow….

ERIC BANA AS HENRY IN NIFFENEGGER’S TIME TRAVELER’S WIFE!!!!!!

OH MY GARSHHH! I LOVE Eric Bana! And, I LOVE LOVE LOVED The Time Traveler’s Wife. Now, how psyched are WE for this movie??? It’s sure to be a tear-jerker, which is usually not my thang. But, Gorgeouses, GORJ GORJ GORJ is BANA, and AWESOME LOVE STORY is this novel. Rachel McAdams is playing Claire. Can’t WAIT!
Photos, with thanks, c/o Just Jared.

Kay, sorry for typos and/or things that don’t make sense. I know, as my ARSEHOLE professor once told me — never apologize — but, seriously, I WANT to do good. A new mom — OF TWO — only has so much time, dangit! I’ll get used to it. I’ll get better at ONE-HANDED TYPING!@#@!#$%$!

Oh, and Gorgeouses, what was with the BOWL CUT on America’s Next Top Model!? The poor girl!!!

Come see how insane I’m getting over at The Cheaty Monkey!!!

LOVE!

XO HALEY-O!!!!!