Gossip Is Not for Dummies

Hi Gorgeouses!

Check it out check it out, we got MAJOR BABY NEWS (’tis the season), Justin and Jessica news, Katie Holmes, Jess Simpson and Mayer (feh!), Paris Hilton, AND MORE!!!

And, how ’bout that crazy storm here in T.O.? Trees EVERYWHERE!

check it!!!

NEW MOMS/DADS: KERI RUSSELL, JULIA ROBERTS, TIGER WOODS

Photo, with thanks, c/o Splash News.

Like, OMIGOSH, look how adorable she looks. I think I HATE pregnant women who don’t change a bit ‘cept for their tummies. I really think I HATE them. But, I can’t deny how BEAUTIFUL she looked preggers. Anyhoo, Keri and her hubby Shane Deary had their first child, a baby boy named River Russell Deary, on June 9th. Sweet. Congrats to them!

Julia Roberts and Danny Moder also welcomed their 3rd child, a baby boy 8.5-pound Henry Daniel Moder — a surprisingly not-bizarre name! "Nice to meet you, these are my children, Hazel, Phinnaeus and Henry…." I s’ppose it sounds aiight….

….And, Tiger Woods and his gorj wife Elin Nordegren just gave birth to their daughter, Sam Alexis. CONGRATS!!

JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE AND JESSICA BIEL STILL TOGETHER…. COULD IT BE LOVE?

Maybe that interview (see last post) was bogus after all. Because LOOK AT THEM. Getting off a plane in Sweden. The SAME PLANE. A PRIVATE JET. This is (duh, obviously) no coincidence…. The two are still an item. Either that, or she’s his number-one groupie…or, maybe he’s just paying her for sex….

KATIE HOLMES — PREGGERS WITH BABY #2

Hee — look how GINORMOUS she looks next to Tom here…. Oh yeah, so, she’s preggers. And, you’d think I was obsessed with pregnant stars just ‘cuz I’m preggers. But, NO. THIS IS ALL OVER THE GOSSIP NEWS. It’s not me, it’s them! There must be something in the Kabbalah water (and in whatever concoction the Scientologists drink)…. A-NY-WAY, new bob and new baby for Katie — now that’s hott gossip…….? (ugh, boredom MUCH, but whatevs.) Hey, though, Katie and Suri have the same ‘do!:

Awww…. SWEET PICS! They’re cute! And, I KNOW, she totally doesn’t LOOK preggers. But, sources say she IS, and that she’s all excited about it.

ON AGAIN, OFF AGAIN, ON AGAIN, OFF AGAIN, ON AGAIN!!!!!!!!

This pic was taken between 1am and 3am on the weekend. She’s walking to her car. The girls covered. The makeup beautifully natural. The bod RIPPED (she’s been back at the gym regularly, I’m told). Problem is…, she’s still hooked on Mayer. She’s walking to her car FROM HIS PLACE. She looks none too happy, but, apparently, they ARE on again. Indeed-ee-o.
Photo and scoop, with thanks, c/o X17.

PARIS HILTON AIN’T GETTIN’ NO PERKS IN THE SLAMMER (SAYS SHE)

Paris informed a rep (who came to visit her) from entertainment-news site TMZ, that she’s not getting any special perks in the slammer just because she is who she is. The rep also said she’s spending her time building her character reading The Secret and The Power of Now. She’s also reading loads of fan mail. …And, that’s all for today’s Paris update — Paris who manages to keep her name in the tabloids even when she’s locked up…. Truly truly talented girl, that.

Oh, and Paris’s neighbours HATE her for bringing so much chaos to their street…. And, they’re complaining to authorities BIG TIME. They’d do ANYTHING to keep her in the slammer forEVAH.

SHE WORE THAT TO THE EMMY AWARDS?

I feel sorry for the people who had to sit beside Tyra during last Friday’s Emmy Awards. Could they even SEE the stage? Hideous hideous hideous!

ROSIE GETS BOB BARKER’S BLESSINGS

Rosie O’Donnell may very well be hosting Price Is Right, now that Bob Barker, 83, has retired. Not surprisingly, her long-time friend Barker is totally into it:

She told me she loved The Price Is Right and wanted to host
it one day….There’s no doubt in my mind she could do the
show. Now, whether they want a lady host, I don’t know.

Seems like the show’d be a good fit for her. Not political, and lots of opportunity for jokes. Perf.

Y&R question? Sharon!! NEVER MIND that Jack owned Jabot. Hellooooo!? He was talking to his DEAD FATHER! Helloooo? That’s the question. Just: helloooo?! And, that whole Kevin-Amber-Daniel thing is a totally RIDICULOUS MESS! Like, why would they get themselves into that? I get that they each have their individual money issues, but, DUDE! I love the CRAZAY background music they get, though — FUNNEE!

Want more Cheaty? Check it — at The Cheaty Monkey!

Want even MORE Cheaty? Check it — at Haley’s Pregnancy Blog! (The TV COMMERCIAL is up!!!)

xo Haley-O!