Gossip Detox

Detoxing gossip? No chance. Gossip is my food right now. Am hungry for it. So hungry. Weak.

I’m on Day 7 of my detox. This is the most challenging of the 10 days….No kidding.

Sooo tired. I can eat. like. nothing. So forgive me this one time if i’m a little lax in this post. Like if i don’t capitalize when I Should or use two periods instead of one.. or spell words rong. i’m going to be so healthy after thisssszzzzzzz….

Huh? Wha? Oh. just call me sleepy Kim from The Bachelor….

Check it:

THE BACHELOR...BABY!

I don’t know about you, but I am so pleased with The Bachelor this season. Not the bachelor — Prince Lorenzo — necessarily, but with the whole show. The girls are awesome: they’re nuts! It’s the best. Très entertaining. I didn’t want this week’s show to end.

I have 3 favourites (not for the crown — I don’t know who I want to win yet — but for my enjoyment):

1) Princess Party girl:

"Hi, baby," "Come over here, baby," "I’m horny all the time, baby…." So annoying, but très entertaining!

2) Princess Drama Queen:

Yes, that’s a tiara on her head. WHY? WHYYY? Here’s a better picture:

This self-entitled "socialite" went off the deep end last night. She’s by far my favourite, but she won’t last long. It’s amazing that she managed to get a rose this week. Amazing. Here are some reasons why she’s my favourite: a) "Waaaah, he doesn’t judge people, and I do! And, I don’t know why!"; b) "Waaaaah, I’m a true princess"; and, c) [after Lorenzo gives her a rose] "you made a really good decision." Can’t wait till next week’s breakdown (as shown in the previews) when she says something like, "wahhhhh, everyone judges me, and we have the same background, so I thought you’d understand! Wahhhhh!" The only excuse I have for her behaviour is that she’s very young — just 23.

3) Sleeping Beauty:

This girl, Kim, managed to fall asleep twice. Once on her group date, and, next, while partying on the bachelor’s bed. Why? Because of drunken stupour, and, well, she’s not sticking around long enough for us to find out. Loooved it when she spoke hysterical gibberish and thought the bachelor was the waiter on their group date? Ha! Now that’s a first….) Boo that she didn’t get a rose. Boo.

Photos c/o ABC’s The Bachelor‘s official website.

DANCING WITH THE STARS

Kay, I don’t have much to say about this show because So You Think You Can Dance killed it for me. But, Joey Lawrence dances like a girl and is way too built for his height and bald head. I’m cheering for Mario. Anyway, NEXT.

GOSSIP GOSSIP GOSSIP!!!

FASHION WEEK IN PARIS: SALMA HAYEK; POSH AND KATE (OF COURSE)

GOOOORRRRG! Just gorgeous. Cannot believe not airbrushed. This producer of the awesome hit show Ugly Betty is fab (and 40!). Utterly fab. And, gorg.

Loving Katie’s outfit. Again: Katie smiles; Victoria scowls….

Pictures c/o Splash News Online.

KATIE HOLMES CONTINUES TO STAND BESIDE SKINNIES IN PHOTOS

Photo c/o Just Jared.

Check out Katie at the Karl Lagerfeld VIP Party for the Paris Fashion Week. The only thing high-fashion about this photo is the skinnies she’s standing next to. (Karl on the left, Kate Bosworth right.) Coat — yech.

MADONNA ADOPTS AFRICAN BOY (GOOD SOURCES SAY)

Photo c/o Perez Hilton.

Apparently, Madonna and Guy are, indeed, adopting a boy from Africa. Perez Hilton (a very reliable Intergossip) reveals that Madonna’s publicist is taking back the denials. Awesome!

SANDRA BULLOCK’S DRESS FROM HELL (AT THE PREMIERE OF INFAMOUS)

Photo c/o Just Jared.

Cheaty’s worst dress. It’s all right here, folks. Imagine, though: the things they can make with garbage bags these days….

PARIS AND NICOLE OFFICIALLY FRIENDS AGAIN

Pictures c/o Splash News Online.

In case you didn’t know. They’ve been friends again for a while now. Let’s say, since they began promoting the new season of The Simple Life: like, in In Touch Magazine, when Paris reveals in an interview, "I love Nicole, and I’m so glad we’re friends again. i missed her, she’s like my sister — we’ve known each other 23 years. I’m glad we can put the feud behind us. I’m really happy she’s back in my life." (qtd. by Perez Hilton.)

ARE NICKY HILTON AND ENTOURAGE‘S KEVIN CONNOLLY ENGAGED?

Rumours are a’flyin’ ever since Nicky’s 23rd-birthday bash and this ring.

More interestingly, I hear that the nailpolish Nicky’s sporting is the new colour. Everyone is wearing it.

The only problem with it? See above photo. You MUST keep up with your manicures when you wear a colour like this…ahem, Jess? What would your father say!?

Photos c/o Splash News Online.

So, who’s going to try this nailpolish? Come on? Reveal yourself!? I won’t. I don’t wear nail polish….Unless someone can find me a good natural brand. I hate myself sometimes! Arrrrgh! Natural shmatural *&@%$^*! Damn detox.

I’ll be alright.

My mother is going to the Barbara Streisand concert and will not stop talking about it. Discuss. (in the "comments." Yes. Below. That’s right. Don’t forget to verify! Thanks. Kisses!)

I’ll go kvetch on my personal blog now. At least I get to eat rice tomorrow. Yippee!