Gorjerific Gossip!

Hi Gorgeouses!

So much happened when I was at The Resort from HEAVEN…: Angelina Jolie on her bisexuality (and, why I suddenly LOVE her); Britney’s assistant to serve as WITNESS in custody battle; Jennifer Garner shops beautiful; Tom and Katie take Suri to the zoo; Christina’s looking preggers…; Amy Winehouse SHOULD absolutely go to rehab; and, MORE!

check it!!!

BRITNEY’S ASSISTANT ALLI MUST TESTIFY ABOUT BRITNEY’S PARENTING IN CUSTODY BATTLE!

Brit’s cousin and assistant, Alli Sims, will be testifying about Britney’s parenting in the upcoming custody battle for Jayden James and Sean Preston Federline. Federslime’s lawyer served her the papers on her way out of a Hollywood soiree at 2:30am yesterday (Sunday). Brit was at the party, too, but she didn’t get to see what went down when Sims got subpoenaed.

Apparently, when Sims got subpoenaed, she freaked right out, as an inside source describes: "she was really distraught and said, ‘Oh my God.’"

As if she wasn’t already…, Brit’s totally screwed now, Gorgeouses. SCREWED. Her insanity is going to cost her her kids.
Photo, with thanks, c/o X17.

KATIE AND TOM TAKE SURI TO THE BERLIN ZOO

As bizarre as they may be, this super famous couple never fails to FASCINATE. Seriously? Every time you look at them, aren’t you (aside from, perhaps, saying ewww) fascinated? They’re such a bizarre phenomenon. BUT, in these pictures, they actually kind of look like a normal couple. They both look smiley and happy and into their daughter and in their own sweet little world — sans any HINT of Scientology or creepy-Cruiseness.

Question: have you EVER seen Suri in a stroller? I don’t think I have. Katie’s ALWAYS holding her. Maybe that’s how she got so SKINNY so fast postpartum. And, check her wide-legged jeans. My sis was reading US Magazine at the resort this weekend and pointed out how they’re saying it’s ALL about the wide legs now — NO MORE SKINNY JEANS! YESS! Although, I think one has to be pretty skinny to pull off the wide-legged jeans, too…and also probably tall…. So, you won’t see me in these either, like, EVAH. I’ll stick to my Lulus — the most flattering pants on the planet….
Photos, with thanks, c/o Splash.

JENNIFER GARNER SHOPS BEAUTIFUL AND IS A WHOLE-WATERMELON KIND OF GIRL

I know: this headline doesn’t make a whole lot of sense. But, seriously? Look how pretty: the red tank, the green watermelon, the yellow sunflowers! It’s a beautiful sight! The colour scheme is, like, perfection! And, it’s all just so earthy. She’s quite the earthy girl, that Jennifer Garner, isn’t she? And, I LIKE it. It’s a rare celebrity site, methinks! It’s actually surprising that she buys her own WHOLE watermelons. I always buy them already-chopped. Otherwise, I KNOW it’ll sit in my kitchen ROTTING away until I get the energy to mess up my entire kitchen and myself chopping it. You? Do you buy your watermelon chopped or whole? ‘Cuz I think it says a lot about a person — for example, me=lazy and Jen=not lazy.
Photos, with thanks, c/o Splash.

CHRISTINA’S LOOKING PREGGERS — AND, STILL STYLISH

I wonder if she’ll continue to dye her hair while preggers…. She looks cute! GORJ freaking shoes….
Photo, with thanks, c/o X17.

ANGELINA JOLIE ON HER SEXUALITY; AND, WHY I SUDDENLY LOVE HER

I’ve been very vocal about my disdain for Angelina Jolie — or, at least for the image of herself that she puts out there. But, last night…, I had a dream. I dreamt that I was at a party with Angelina, and she was FASCINATED by my pregnant belly. She followed me all around the party, touched my tummy, and marveled at how beautiful the miracle of pregnancy is. I wasn’t sure if I liked the attention or not. But, I thought, THIS IS ANGELINA JOLIE, and MY-OH-MY SHE IS BEAUTIFUL, and SHE LIKES ME AND MY BABY! I also felt really bad. I couldn’t bring myself to tell her that I’ve been so critical of her on this blog…. So, I like her now. She’s really nice and really pretty, and it was comforting to have her hand on my belly.

I AM SLOWLY TURNING MENTAL, ONE-TWO-THREE-FOUR-FIVE-SIX SWITCH!

Anyway, on to the GOOD STUFF. According to The Sun UK, Angelina stopped having SEX WITH WOMEN and PRACTICING HARDCORE S&M for Brad. Here’s what the article says:

[Angelina] said: “I’ve never hidden my bisexuality. But since I’ve been with
Brad, there’s no longer a place for that or S&M in my life.”

The tattooed Tomb Raider star enjoyed a ten-year relationship with model Jenny Shimizo.
However Angelina stressed she was now happy with Hollywood hunk Brad, 43 — but to keep her he needed “to be sexy”.

She told French magazine Public he trusted her not to cheat, adding: “He lets me talk to whomever I want.

“He has complete blind faith in me.”

I just wish they’d elaborate on the Brad needing "to be sexy" part. More about THE SEX LIFE, please? PLEASE!? Inquiring Gorgeouses REALLY NEED TO KNOW MORE! I’ll ask Angelina in my dream tonight, kay?

On the not-so-sexy but oh-so-cute side, check how cute the fam is going to the Chicago museum….

CUTE! And, SHE’S my friend! And, Brad sure is holding up his end of the "to be sexy" part of the bargain…:

Oh, MAN! He’s is THE DEFINITION of DILF!

AMY WINEHOUSE SHOULD GO TO REHAB

Last Wednesday, Amy Winehouse OD’ed on a combination of heroin, cocaine, ecstasy, horse tranquilizer and booze…. She collapsed in the hospital and has been trying to recover not only physically but mentally ever since. The overdose, she just told newspapers, "was one of the most terrifying moments of my life….I don’t know what happened….I was so out of control. It just happened. It shocked me….I know things have got to change. I have to sort myself out."

Sorting herself out, so far, has not involved going to rehab. Instead, she’s staying at the Four Seasons Hotel in Hook, Hants. Her family is there supporting her, as is her hubby Blake Fielder Civil and his family. She also has doctors and psychiatrists on board there.

Horse tranquilizer? Someone REALLY SHOULD go to rehab. Sing it, Gorgeouses!: WE’RE TRYING TO MAKE YOU GO TO REHAB, AMY, YES YES YES!

COULD ADRIAN GRENIER LOOK MORE ANNOYED…?

So, Paris and Adrian spent the day at the beach together, and then he drover her back to Hollywood. He looks SO annoyed. Rumour has it she wants to be on Entourage, and, more to the point, rumour has it HE’S using her to attract paparazzi for a documentary he’s doing on the pushy photogs…. So, don’t worry, Gorgeouses, Adrian Grenier has NOT sold his handsome, smart, sexy soul….
Photo, with thanks, c/o X17.

CANADIANA GOSSIP!: RACHEL MCADAMS

No one seems to know what the deal is with Rachel McAdams and Ryan Gosling. He was in Tel Aviv, Israel, for a while recording music with Rachel’s sister’s boyfriend. That’s all I know, anyway. BUT, she IS in Toronto right now. And, she bikes a lot. So, keep an eye out for our favourite Ontario-born-and-raised leading lady. CANNOT WAIT for The Time Traveler’s Wife — the movie she’s currently filming here. She’s playing the FASCINATING character, Clare Abshire…. Anyway, if you see someone who LOOKS like Rachel McAdams riding a bike around these parts, it really IS her.
Photos, with thanks, c/o Just Jared.

HOW INSANE IS BIG BROTHER RIGHT NOW???

Don’t worry. I won’t spoil anything from yesterday’s episode. But, I will say this: I’ve been an avid FAN of Big Brother since it’s inception, like, 7 years ago. I have NEVER seen it LIKE THIS. It’s freaking EXPLOSIVE — mostly because of Evel Dick, but also because of Eric’s kind of sorry position as "America’s Player" (I say "sorry" because it’s almost KILLED HIM in the game, and it’s definitely turned the game on it’s head again and again). Anyway, I didn’t think the show could get any better than last year’s Big Brother All Stars. But, it miraculously has. The drama…OH, THE DRAMA! LOVE! I definitely miss last year’s "Chill Town," but, there’s NOTHING like Evel Dick. He’s such a SHARK! LOVE! (I love sharks….) I don’t want him to go home, but I’m afraid his time is near up…. Let’s talk BIG BROTHER in the comments!!!

HERE IT IS: THE REASON DANNY TIDWELL’S MY FAVOURITE SYTYCD DANCER

I watched this over and over and over again. I’m not completely sure why I love this solo THAT MUCH. I just do. I love the song, I love the feel of it, the BRILLERS CHOREOGRAPHY, and, of course, the beautiful dancing. He performed this GENIUSLY. He wins in my books.
I also liked Lauren’s solo….

That turning sequence was totally GORJ.
She’s not my favourite dancer, but this solo was LOVERLY.
ALL of the performances were brillers. A lot of you seemed to have loved this one. So, this is for you, Gorgeouses!

Want more Cheaty? Check it — at THE CHEATY MONKEY! I got pics from my mini resort vacay up!

LOVE!
xo Haley-O