My husband is out of town. For 11 days (well, five down…six to go). In some ways, I was looking forward to him being away (sorry, Hubster!). Why? Well, it’s just one less person to worry about it the house, you know? No 4:00 rush to tidy up toys, get dinner started, vacuum the after-school snack crumbs off the kitchen floor. AND! Precious alone-time…just-me-time after the kids go to bed.
So, those are the good things about Hubby’s trip. The bad things? Well, that alone-time is great for about the first hour or so, then it just starts feeling like lonely-time. I’ve been up past midnight every night since he left; not because I’m so busy doing projects or reading a trashy novel in a hot bubble-bath, but because I just can’t seem to turn off the light and surrender to sleep without him being there.
But the most puzzling thing of all, is that I just can’t stick to the Weight Watcher’s program without him. I’ts not like I’m heading out for girls’ night and all the fattening temptations inherent in that activity. I’m not. I’m at home…by myself…with nothing better to do than eat and – this is the most important part – NOBODY TO STOP ME.
Now, my house is essentially free of all "bad food". We have no chips, no candy, no cookies in our cupboards. But does that stop me? NOOOOOO….I scavenge the kitchen for things like a handful of chocolate chips, or a cup of dry honey-nut cheerios. I’ve started drinking 3 or 4 cans of pop per day, instead of 2-3 litres of water. I’ve found myself pulling the old teenager manoeuvre: standing in front of an open fridge staring at all the fruits, vegetables and lean meat, thinking "there’s NOTHING to eat!" For the last several months, my family has gone through 10-12 pounds of apples in a week. Today I had to weed out several of last week’s rotten apples from the fruit bowl.
Now, I suppose there is some consolation in the fact that I have found myself, at least half of the time, walking away from the kitchen thinking, "well, there’s nothing to eat, so I guess I’ll eat nothing!" instead of just whipping up a batch of cookies for the sake of munching on them! I must have lost (thankfully) some of that old compulsion to eat for the sake of eating. I can now stop myself from reaching for something stupid (like the cookie dough) because I know it’ll make me feel bad, emotionally and physically, and I’m not willing to trade that for the temporary pleasure of eating it. The old me would have taken the trade-off.
But the really big thing that’s hit home for me this week is how hard, how utterly, terribly difficult it is to do this alone. I know all the experts (Weight Watchers included) say that you’re more likely to be successful if you share your journey with someone, but I never believed it to the extent I do now. I used to think it was easier to lose weight with my husband because I wasn’t cooking two meals, and staring enviously at him eating while I was scrimping. Now I’ve come to believe that the real reason is that he motivates me. And not just in the obvious ways, through encouragement and comradeship, but because I want to make him happy and successful. As the primary meal-preparer in the family (OK, the exclusive meal-preparer!) I have relished the challenge of providing him, our kids and, by extension, me, with delicious, healthy meals and snacks. Without him here, I’ve "let myself go"…I toss a scrambled egg, some baby carrots and a slice of toast at the kids around 6:00 and then putter around getting them bathed, read to, read with, pyjamaed, brushed and in bed – until it’s 8:30 and I’m starving and I haven’t consumed a single fruit or vegetable all day.
So today, at the mid-way point of Hubby’s absence, I’m turning it all around. Today I will not skip lunch. I will eat five fruit and/or vegetable servings (3 down, 2 to go!). I will (in fact I already have) drink at least 2 litres of water. And tonight the girls and I will enjoy a meal worthy of ourselves. Something tasty, fresh and healthy. And I promise, swear to god, to try to go to sleep by 11:00.
We’ll still be a little lonely and pine for Daddy, but at least I won’t weigh 10 pounds more when he gets home!
my honey went on vacation in the summer for 3 weeks with my teens.i hated it.we’ve never been apart for so long.i managed the little girls not so bad,but i was lonely and really missed everyone.but it was good for my hubby and big kids to spend time together.and wow did my honey miss me.and you wouldn’t beleive how much hagen dazs mayan chocolate ice-cream i went through!
I totally know what you are talking about! When I am alone I reach for convenient, comfort foods…something easy and tasty. Plus, I can’t seem to turn out the light alone in my bed either. Last time my hubby was away I brought the kids into bed with me and they were already asleep! Crazy what you get used to!
It’s so true! When the hubby’s out of town, I relax about the housework, etc. And, yeah, the eating suffers, too. Don’t be lonely, though! We’re all here! 🙂
It’s so true! When the hubby’s out of town, I relax about the housework, etc. And, yeah, the eating suffers, too. Don’t be lonely, though! We’re all here! 🙂