Glad Sean came for drop off with me this morning. He saw first hand how RIDICULOUS Cam’s class is. what a joke…
That was my facebook status on the first day of school. I guess the joke’s on me because apparently the principal was, in her words, “privy” to some information from my facebook page – and based on that status, she has decided not to rehire me for the lunchroom supervision position that I’ve had for the past 4 years.
I won’t get into the specifics of the ridiculous grade 5 class.
I won’t even really get into anything about the school.
I will get into the fact that I hated being 14 when I was 14. I hate it even more now that I’m 37.
Really? Someone took my facebook status to the principal and “told on me”?
Really? Someone took my facebook status to the principal and “told on me”?
I realize – and always have – that just because I have all my privacy settings set up that facebook is not private. I mean, really. I write about our family on UrbanMoms regularly. I put our life out there. Our experiences, our ups and downs. Our trials and triumphs. I stand by everything I put out there on the world wide web.
Initially, I wasn’t bothered as much about not working at the school as I was that someone I trusted took my information and used it against me. It had to be someone I trusted if they were close enough to take it to the school. Everyone on my facebook has had some type of relationship with me – be it an IRL friendship – current or past, a babycenter friend I’ve “known” for the better part of a decade, a fellow ASD mom that I’ve met through support groups, again IRL or virtual…
It wasn’t hard to figure out who it was once I scrolled through my “friend” list. The person who I had in mind was no longer on that list. They had already unfriended me.
Disappointed best describes how I felt. After thinking on it for a bit – not really surprised.
I was beyond disappointed that my time and involvement in the school is pretty much gone. I loved being there for my kids to come in and say hi or give a hug. I’m sad that I won’t be there for Eva like she wanted me to be.
But I also don’t regret the facebook status. I don’t and won’t filter myself here, on facebook or twitter. I can’t control what people do with what I put out there. Just stand by it.
Sean and I were discussing what happened. He knew how disappointed I was with how everything played out. He shook his head and said “Forget about it. Just take the year off. Don’t do anything.”
And with that, everything was right in the world again.
And with that, everything was right in the world again.
So you’ll excuse me while I go plan my mornings at the gym, coffee dates, shopping trips, lunches with friends, hair and nail appointments and time on the couch with bon bons…ahhh…
In my dreams.
In my dreams.
I actually think that I may just get this house clean one of these days…
Stay tuned for an update on that.
The whole time I was reading this I was thinking, “wouldn’t have happened with the old principal…” *wink*
ANYWAY: I think it’s brutal. I teach my grade three students not to tattle like this! The person who turned you in to the principal should have come to you first if they had a problem with your status update.
Having said that, I wonder what the parents of my students are saying on their FB accounts…sometimes during the first few weeks of school the transition times (like morning dropoff) are – well – ridiculous!
Sara I’m afraid you are kidding yourself about who sees what you write on FB.
If you update your status, only your friends will see it, but if one of your friends (let’s say Joe) comments on your status now all of Joe’s friends will also see it. If one of Joe’s friends (lets say Krysta) comments on Joe’s comment, now all of Krysta’s friends will be able to see your status. That is twice removed from the friends you knew would see it and could be hundreds of people you didn’t know or intend to see it. Even if you are trying to be careful, it’s not as controlled as you would think. My kid’s friends get new phones and puts a status asking everyone to comment with their phone number. I can not tell you how many cell phone numbers I have been privy to because my son or daughter have commented saying they can’t put their number on FB but would inbox it to them. These are not people that I am “friends” with, most I don’t even know. They are friends of friends of my kids.
Bottom line – don’t put it out there unless you are prepared for anyone to read it.
Hayley
If you wanted this job, I would go to a lawyer to make sure she can do this…it will cost you $200, but I bet your contract would be renewed pretty quickly given that this was the basis given for not renewing. If you do not want to go back, I would go to the local paper. They love Facebook tales like this, and at minimum it will probably raise a ruckus, which is deserved. The issue I would bring up is that when a parent’s criticism and dissatisfaction about a teacher/classroom was relayed to the principal (possibly for personal gain), the principal did not dig deeper to solve a problem, but instead retaliated. Does she retaliate against the kids of people who complain, too? More importantly, how can a principal like that head a school that is supposed to teach our children about freedom of speech?
She was new to the school last year, so I don’t really have an established relationship with her.
She knows exactly what the status says. She pretty much quoted it after telling me she’d been privy to the info. I think it’s lame…but I think she wanted me out and this was the easiest way to do it.
This kind of thing would make me crazy. First of all, who knows what was said to the principal about the FB status? Someone wanted you out of the school, and found a way to do it. I can see the principal being concerned if the comment was about a particular staff member, but to say that a class is “crazy” is nothing. I would talk to the principal. If you’ve worked there this long, you should have a fairly decent relationship where you can do that.
The comment is nothing to worry about, and I’d prove it-even if I had to bring up my facebook status and show them myself.
I am glad you appreciate the devil’s advocacy & “thoughts” comment.
No, I did not call them out on the lie, I just didn’t feel like stooping to their level and bringing more negativity to the situation. The silver lining was that the situation convinced me to RSVP “yes” to a party I was on the fence about. I was so hurt by them not showing up and thought why should I do the same to someone else; they obviously cared enough to invite me to their party and want me there so who am I not to go just because “I don’t feel like it”.
Friend? no your being generous-
“privy” is another word for gossip, and I really dont get how it relates to you doing your job and doing it as well as you have for the past 4 years…its an expression of discontent, nothing slanderous….
I agree with what Jen said” extreme”
Honestly Christine? If this person hadn’t used that FB status against you it would have been something else. This “friend” was obviously out for blood and this was just her way of doing it. Your status could have been interpreted many ways and she obviously saw it as an opportunity. I see absolutely nothing wrong with what you wrote. I believe that whether it was on FB or in a conversation with this person she was looking for a way to get to you.
As for the school, this seems extreme to say the least. You have committed 3 years to this and they go on one person’s interpretation of your status and give you no opportunity to explain or apologize? That is worrying.
Please continue to be real and open. It is what makes us keep reading! And try and see this as a gift in disguise. Who knows what your next adventure will be?!
the one thing is though – you’re not broadcasting to the world – you are to your FB friends. I’m careful (although some of my family would disagree) about what goes on my blog…but not as censored on FB – those are people I choose to see what I write. But I do like the thoughts are thoughts thing.
LOL! Seriously laughed out loud at the Rob Ford line! Hahaha!
And I’m pretty sure if they catch wind of this post there is no way they’re asking me back.
No tomatoes thrown here. I don’t expect the world to agree with me or my actions and I appreciate all points of view.
As far as the school – without commenting too much on it – no, my status should have come as no surprise. at. all.
That’s crummy about the birthday party incident. How do you handle that? Do you comment on the photo’s and how much fun it looks? Do you leave it be? Do you ask them?
I love your last line about thoughts just being thoughts. In a facebook and twitter filled world that’s getting harder to do…
Wow…this comment hit me hard. This is why I continue to be open and write. Besides being therapeutic, hearing that what I write is valuable to people makes every single thing worth it.
I found more support in my online community in the early days of autism. Those people understood more about my life than any real life friends could (they were wonderful, but just couldn’t understand). I’m grateful for the internet and always will be.
OMG. That’s horrible. I can’t believe that. What are you going to do????
That’s what I’m thinking Nanc…more opportunities ahead.
Not cool at all. So sorry this happened.
You continue to amaze me though.
xo
Don’t all throw tomatoes, but while I can’t comment on the principal’s decision, I will say that I do think that some people tend to reveal too much information via Facebook…even when it seems innocent and light-hearted and fun. What I tell my kids (both biological and students) is that you need to think hard before posting anything on the internet or texting because it can never go away. It is now common practice for the police to check out Facebook to see what “people of interest” have been up to…and you wouldn’t believe the stupid things people have been caught doing because of a Facebook post.
Bottom line (and please don’t take this as anything other than friendly advice): not every thought in your head needs to be shared with all of your hundreds of Facebooks friends. Call your bestie and discuss or bring it up at the next girls’ night out but if there is even a slight chance that your comments could embarrass you (or someone else), or could come back to bite you or (someone else) in the butt, DO NOT put it on Facebook.
Just this weekend, I caught someone in a lie when they cancelled on coming to my daughter’s b-day because of a “business meeting” but then posted images of their family at another event on Facebook… Would you be upset if you were me? Can you now see why maybe the principal was upset? That message pretty much bad-mouthed the school to the entire world!
Sometimes I long for the days when people had thoughts…and just left it at that.
Holy sh*t. I wish I had something more eloquent to add, but that about sums it up. I talk to my preschoolers – constantly now that they’re all three and The Sandbox Games are ON – about playing together, being respectful, showing courtesy. Evidently, there are some grownups who could use a refresher in those areas.
I’m sorry that someone in your life did this sh*tty thing to you. Good for you for refusing to filter yourself. Your work online is so valuable to so many I love in the ASD community. Thanks for not letting some overgrown teenager shut you up!
I know what you mean on this one. I had someone on my friends list who I removed a year ago. I removed her, because she was calling my mom stupid and treating her badly when my mother was correct on what she had said. I found out a few months ago this “woman” is going back to my uncle and people who work for my uncle telling lies. She is telling people I am posting up this horrible personal stuff that isn’t even true on my facebook. She isn’t even on my facebook! I don’t post anything overly personal up that I wouldn’t tell people I know or don’t know. She has started lies that I am a high school drop out when it states on my facebook that I finished school and even attended college. Now people are treating me like I am a complete idiot, because of her lies and it has caused world war 3 in our family between my uncle and mom and my uncle and my grandfather. All because I was homeschooled over 15 years ago and now have started homeschooling my children. Really?? Some people do not grow up and have no clue what real maturity means.
COME ON!! Their loss. For sure. But people are so ridiculous and petty and awful sometimes.ugh.
Almost like how someone, being neighbourly, reported to the Housing Agency here on base that Phil was no longer living here. Being that we’d decided it was best for me to keep the house, so the kids could maintain the structure of base life, base schooling, and knowing that no matter what – home is home – I’d stayed and he’d moved out, continuing to pay the rent and keep his name on the books. But, said NEIGHBOURLY neighbours reported it, had me inspected, and now, I’ve been told I have to move. I love good friends and good neigbours.
Since when is a person not allowed to have an OPINION?!? I would go straight to the Board with this. Even if you’d be too uncomfortable to work there, they need to know about this. And this “friend”, what a coward. I wouldn’t be surprised if she was lurking on this page to see if you wrote about what happens.
Christine, how horrible! I know that good volunteers are hard to come by. Your school has lost a great asset. Make those activities on your dream list a reality. Get out for coffee with friends, shop, go to the gym…you deserve it!
I got a written warning for “being unimpressed with mandatory overtime” at 9 months pregnant.
Some companies just can’t take any kind of criticism. Careful “Big Brother” is watching 😉
Ack, Christine… some people need punching in the neck. Really, really hard. 🙁
wow, is your principal rob ford? well, i hope they realize they’re losing a great volunteer. it’s quite amazing to me how people are ready to $%@^ on a volunteer’s head while on the other hand complaining that no one wants to help out. it’s that way here, too.
let’s start a pool as to when they beg for you to come back!
SO let me get this straight…..the principal hears that in your facebook status you are expressing discontent with the grade 5 class…..and rather than come to you saying “I’m so sorry you are feeling that way, let’s discuss and FIX IT”, she fired you. Awesome “sweep it under the carpet” policy.
Enjoy those bon-bons my dear, you’ve earned EVERY one of them, be there for Eva in brownies etc, and dude…..SHARE some of those bon-bons with me!!
This is amazing, Christine. I can’t believe it. Sounds like scare mongering at its finest. I am with you- one of the best things about growing up is being transparent and not having many sides but just one you that you are completely at peace with.
One door closes another always opens……..
oh just reread. THAT was your status???????????? That’s it????????????
Again… I hate people!
Really I’m in disbelief too. The fact that someone takes the time to be THAT concerned about someone else. Were you putting children’s life in danger or did someone just not agree with your opinion or were you taking privileged information and disseminating it on FB?
This makes me so angry Christine. I hate people. 😉
Dude! Are you KIDDING ME??? Who is this person and how I wish I had her life that she had time to do something like that. What a shame that the school has lost you over something as ridiculous as that. Really too bad and good for you for not censoring yourself.