The TV pickings when I was on maternity leave with Will were awesome. During the first few weeks of his life, we happily laid in bed watching Michael Phelps in a speedo…I mean winning gold medals. Through the fall, we got to watch all the U.S. election coverage and watch Obama’s inauguration in January.
But I do also unfortunately remember all the tv coverage around Ann Coulter’s book when it came out in January of ’09. There was a chapter titled, ‘Victim of a crime? Thank a single mother’. It cut and it still cuts deeply, even though in my personal opinion, the woman is a lecherous pot stirrer. Regardless, she put it out there and the fact is that many, many people take her words as gospel.
I was reminded of it this week because of a debate that was published between Mikki Morrissette, who is the founder of choicemoms.org and Robert Franklin of Fathers and Families. I’ll admit, I had a very hard time getting through Mr. Franklin’s first rebuttal. I was so angry. Again, like Ann, he focuses on what a disservice we’re doing to our children by being single mothers and how our selfish decisions will ultimately lead to creating all the criminal population in the world after they first drop out of school, get stoned and be failures.
In my educated, common-sense brain I know these arguments are unfounded, with statistics being taken out of context. In my heart, it hurts. It hurts to know that Will will grow up and read this stuff and think, I’m doomed. It hurts to think that there are pieces of the population that think the world would be better off without our kids and that we shouldn’t have had them since we were single. It hurts to think that there are people out there who actually think raising a kid in a house with two miserable parents is superior to one grounded one!
I think, and I could be wrong, that many of us single – by choice or not – mothers would absolutely prefer to raise our kids in a two-parent, happy household. But WTF?!?!? Should we be penalized and made to feel that we are lesser parents because we aren’t? Screw that.
So will my heart please catch up to my head in knowing that this ‘debate’ is ridiculous? Please? Maybe before Ann comes out with another book saying mothers who are addicted to reality tv are destined to raise children who, I don’t know, want to hurt bunnies or something. I’d be two down and totally screwed!
**On a happy note, as you’re reading this the boy and I are jetting off to Montreal. He was ALMOST as excited about the plane ride as he was about his new scooter he got last week. Let me brag for one moment, Wednesday night, he worked it right and actually scooted!!!**
OKAY – AND – have you guys entered the ‘talk about your boobs and win some boob’ contest?? Well, I may enter myself, I was sitting here typing an email (now 10 at night) and my arm felt wet (tanktop)…AND my boobs are leaking…WTF…I haven’t fed the boy from the girls since October?!?! I had a mammogram and no leakage – please explain…AND enter the contest!
thanks Jen! The leakage is weird though eh?? Good god…thank god I’m not really dating yet..AWKWARD!
Weird about the boob leakage, Sara. I would probably mention to your doctor just in case. Could be nothing but better safe, you know?
As for the single parent thing, like every other freakin’ parenting judgment out there, IGNORE. We don’t trust ourselves enough as moms and you are awesome. Will is one of the lucky ones. The media is the devil when it comes to this. Talk about targeting one collective Achilles heel! Mothers of every ilk need to plug their ears and go “LaLaLaLaLa” while screaming “I CAN’T HEAR YOU!” when it comes to most information, statistics, and “expert” advice on parenting.
Will is happy, thriving, and totally and completely loved. You’re good.
“It hurts to think that there are people out there who actually think raising a kid in a house with two miserable parents is superior to one grounded one!”
You nailed it with this comment. Will is so lucky to have such an involved and supportive mom – much more structure and support than some kids get with 2 parents. Don’t hurt your head stressing about what some people out there think; there are always narrow-minded people and you just can’t do anything about that except to raise Will to recognize those people for what they are.