Eleven years ago today, my mom died. It was later in the afternoon – at my parents. She let go with all of us there with her, just as she wanted. I liken not having a mother to chronic back pain. It’s a constant ache but you recognize that it’s not going away so you push on and learn how to live with it. I miss her every day but my life isn’t consumed with missing her. She would be totally pissed if it was.
Lately, I’ve been obsessed with the Long Island Medium. I totally buy into the whole spirits surround you. I once felt my mother so strongly when I was giving my grandmother a pedicure (yes…you can gag now) that I stayed the entire day in her room not wanting to lose that feeling. I can’t explain – it was just overpowering. I want to get the Long Island chick down here so my mom and I can have a little convo. I’d pass along the following….
a. Mom! Tiger Woods turned out to be a total arse. I know…..
b. You’re not missing anything on the Y&R…Victor and Jack are still fighting, Nikki is still boozing and you could probably pick right back up if Rogers makes it way to where you are.
c. You have four incredible grandkids. They’re all smart, funny and would make you so proud.
d. I’m still single…and sorry, contrary to your advice – someone saying ‘youze’ should have been a warning.
e. Dad can cook! Like more than scrambled eggs, cheese dreams and over bbq’ed meat!!!
f. Brace yourself….Marshalls is in Canada and TARGET is on the way! Don’t worry, in your honour – we will line up for the grand opening.
g. We are fine. All of us. We have our ups and downs like everyone else but we’re surviving.
h. I’m trying to like Christmas! I actually got a tree last year and the kid has me reading Christmas stories already.
i. They have invented diet vodka. Oh yes. I’m not lying.
j. I have Auntie Audrey’s shortbread recipe….she finally gave it up! (Hope you guys are drinking vodka up there).
k. Your grandson Will is all about the mint chocolate chip ice-cream….like someone else I know.
l. Yes, Zamfir is still the master of the pan flute.
m. At your request – I have not ridden on a motorcycle again – but I do have a tattoo…and I’m getting another one. SORRY.
n. Did you leave a manual around somewhere? You know one that will tell me how to deal with the current poop issue the kid is having; how to toilet train him at night; how to cook a leg of lamb the way you used to; how to iron a shirt (no I never paid attention when you showed me); how to fix…well anything? You know essentially a manual of you…and your wisdom?
I’m fairly sure the Long Island Medium would tell me that no there is no manual. Crap.
Missing you SO much mom….but the hole has been filled a bit with this monkey. You’d be crazy about him…and he’d be nuts for you too.
First of all that pic of you and Will is the best. I wish I knew what you were saying to each other.
This list is so bang on. We can tell our moms everything and anything and they know everything about everything.
She would love the you and Will thing so big!!!! xoxox
Thanks Peggy – we can’t WAIT to hang out with you guys in FLA….Will is already talking about it!
Hi-ya Sara. We so enjoy your words–you do have a way with them. We are so happy and proud to have watched you tackle mom-dom…and the loss of your Mom. But look how Will has brought such meaning and pleasure to your life. You are one lucky lady–and he’s one even luckier kid. We look forward to seeing the both of you on AMI next year. Keep trucking, kiddo. Fondly, Peggy and Peter
Oh Sara. Made me cry. xoxo
Beautiful Sara.
(and diet vodka? really?)
Being lucky enough to have met your Mom she was amzing, being unfortunate enough to have lost my Mum I know how you feel.
What a wonderful note Sara, Love Sue
I am thinking Di and Willski would get along like gold! I think about your mom often and I realize now how fortunate I was to have her in my life! Who else would take the neighbors kid in almost every day after school and give her cookies and milk and talk with me!!! She was unreal!! Much love xox
What a beautiful tribute Sara.
Um, ditto on the pull-ups at night thing. Boys can be tough, yo.
i can’t even imagine….i would hope that it’s comforting to feel her close all the time. i think you are doing her memory good! hugs…
Oh Sara. I know. I SO know.
And btw, don’t bother with the night toilet training if it is a struggle. My son was toilet trained at 2.5 but wore pull-ups to bed until he was 5. Now that he is 12 so much of this is inconsequential and forgotten. I think your mom told me to tell you that!
Thanks so much Mel..she was very awesome!
Beautiful how you honour your Mom with this letter. It’s funny and sweet and shows just how much you miss her. Sounds like she was an awesome lady.
How lovely, Sara… and yes, I’m certain she’d be completely crazy about your little guy. Wonderful!! xox