KNOCK – KNOCK – KNOCK – KNOCK
That’s me knocking on every piece of wood I could get my hands on before I wrote this entry.
I’m in a dilemma. Will is nearing two and a half. To me, he seems like he’s 5. He’s a big boy. He knows it. I know it. But Will still sleeps in his crib. Last weekend I said to someone with an older child that it was time to move him to a big boy bed.
Her response – ‘WHY?? Isn’t he a great sleeper?’
And I had to reply with the truth. The kid is a great sleeper. NOW. He was a horrid sleeper for the first 10 months of his life. But now, he’s a champ. He goes to bed very easily. During the week, I have to wake him from a dead sleep to get him to school on time. On the weekends, even if he wakes at 6, he’ll very happily chat and sing to himself for an hour until I go get him.
My friend questioned why I would mess with that. She was especially concerned because lack of sleep was a big reason behind my post partum. I know now that when I get exhausted – all those nerves and anxiety start to build.
My response was that he’s not a baby anymore and cribs are for babies.
So what’s the right call here? He has never tried to climb out of his crib. Even on Monday night when he had his epic tantrum and I put him in his crib for his own safety, he just grabbed the rails, jumped up and down and howled like a cougar.
So do I leave well enough alone and just assume he won’t be going to Harvard Medical School while still in a crib surrounded by cutesy turtles, tigers and monkeys??? Or do I have to bite the bullet and bring on the big boy bed?
Advice please??!!!
Make the switch. The longer you keep the crib the harder it will be to switch. I’m also a strong believer that a child needs to sleep independently (without a crib) in order to start potty training. Its part of developing independence, it might be tough at first, but in the end he’ll be better for it.
Get bed bumpers for the big boy bed and he’ll be fine.
I have an 18 month old right now and he is SUPER content in his crib. I don’t plan on moving him any time soon because a) he seems happy and sleeps well b) he has never made any attempt at climbing out and c) he flops like a fish in his sleep and at some point in the night I usually find him up against the rails.
I have to agree with the other comments, I don’t think there is a *right* age for making the switch.
After having three kids, moving my two oldest from the crib to bed was the biggest mistake ever!! We had no choice because we had to move the older one for the new babe…now that I’ve managed to keep my legs closed Andrew will stay in his crib until he’s ten!! Don’t mess with a good thing!!! Maybe after his 3rd birthday you can make it a big boy party!!!
Hey Sara,
Well, lets see how we did it. Owen also never tried to crawl out of his crib, but at some point, we felt it was time to get him started on sleeping out of his crib, and in a big boy bed. To be honest, I think that I thought it would make him more excited to go to sleep, and not sleep in our bed half of most nights. Well that backfired, he would just come to our bed instead of crying in the crib, and we now had no way of containing him. Having said that, I’d say since you’ve had a nice positive experience with the crib, maybe the same thing will happen with the bed? Who knows? But you won’t know unless you try. Also, you don’t want him to get really upset when you really need to get him out of the crib, and I guess the longer he’s in there the more he’ll want to stay? NOt sure, just what I’m thinking 🙂
For us, the decision was easy. Our girl wasn’t sleeping well in her crib, and we looked for an alternative – any alternative – to stir things up. She’s been in her own bed for a couple of months and she sleeps well… she just takes FOREVER to fall asleep.
At some point, it will need to change. Will will need to move to a bigger bed and you will need to suffer through whatever repercussions that come as a result of the switch. It might be a breeze, and it might be a nightmare. So, if he is a good sleeper, and can be in there longer, I say let it go until you know you will be able to dedicate a few solid weeks to making the switch, in case things don’t go so easily.
Finally, that picture freaks me out.
What do your instincts tell you? You know, that little voice that knows something is wrong even thought a doctor says there isn’t. (and turns out to be right!)
We often forget to tune into that little voice and listen to it.
Seems to me, from the way you wrote things above, you’re ready to move him. If so, then go for it. I’ve transitioned four kids from kids to beds, and haven’t lost one yet! My youngest also helicopters quite a bit when she is sleeping. We put her in a toddler bed for a while, so if she did fall, it wasn’t very far. We also put some blankets alongside it, to cushion her if she fell. In all honesty, she only fell a couple of times, right at the beginning, and the bed was low enough she was able to just get back in. She still moved all over the place in her sleep, but she somehow taught herself to not fall off the bed while she does it.
Final word-no matter what you decide to do, it will be ok, and Will will turn out just fine. Really.
Roberta – I think I’m still in delayed adolescence!!!!
I think it is a milestone that should be reached by 2 1/2…whether it “needs” to or not. There are lots of things that would be easier to just continue doing…soothers, bottles, hell…even diapers…but we know that there comes a time that our babies need to grow up and do what is developmentally appropriate.
For my girls (now 5 & 7)…we moved them into a toddler size bed (not the crib without the sides but an actually little bed) when they were 18 months old. Our first it was from necessity because the 2nd was coming…and with the 2nd it was just the right time for her. She never tried to escape her crib and she was the same as Will…a crappy sleeper until 12+ months…but I knew that it was just another step in her journey of growing up.
My only suggestion that I have…because bottom line I really believe to each their own…ESPECIALLY when it comes to child-rearing…is to get a gate for his doorway. We would put the girls in their rooms and put the gate up. This allowed them to move freely and safely throughout their room (which they inevitably will do once they aren’t confined to a crib)…but it also gave me peice of mind that they weren’t wandering the house in the middle of the night! We made sure that they knew that the gate wasn’t because they were in trouble…and that it was so they didn’t “fall out of their rooms in the night”…!
Good luck my friend…none of this is easy!
This debate has been going on in my house for awhile too. My daughter is a good sleeper, goes to bed easily and hasn’t tried to climb out yet. She turned 2 in September and we wonder if we should be switching or leaving things as they are. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it right?
She flops around all night and she’s never where she started in the morning. I wonder if she’ll get the hang of that without falling out when it’s time.
I figure we’ll have to move her before we get serious about potty training so she can get out of bed at night if she has to. Holding off till after the holidays probably isn’t a bad idea. One hullaballoo at a time!
On the whole, I agree with “what’s the rush if they are happy?”
We may have the same child! Pumpkinpie was a horrible sleeper as a baby – I remember thinking I might go psychotic from lack of sleep at time. once she passed about 11 months, things got better, so like you, I was delighted to find that she would sit happily in her crib and read books in the morning for a while. She only started climbing out the month before we were moving her into her new room and bed – at 3.5 years. What’s the rush if they are happy?
Fraser climbed onto the rail and straddled the sides before he could walk. I walked into the room with him in this position. He was about eight months old because he walked at eleven months!! We had to leave the side partly down because then he
wouldn’t fall too far if he tried to get out. Also, if he rolled over in his sleep, there
was still a bit of a bar to prevent him from falling out while sleeping. While he was a highly agile child, it was very nerve wracking to think of him crawling around the room…We only put him to bed when he was very tired and got him as soon as he woke up. Needless to say, he was out of a crib very early. Both of my children slept just as well in their beds as in the crib. I would say to bring him out of the crib when his size begins to be a problem for him sleeping in it, especially if he moves around a lot. I think you have some leaway here as to when you do it…I always found that 3 year old preschool coming up was a good time for change…A few months before they go to pre-school as they know that’s coming and pyschologically they prepare themselves for being “bigger kids” ie. They finalize their bathroom habits, sleeping habits into “big kid” habits…Toran wanted to go to the camp program in our neighbourhood park the summer before pre-school summer. She knew that she couldn’t wear a diaper because they didn’t change them, so she worked on going on the “pottie”. She was 2 and a half I guess. She really wanted to go to that camp, so it worked for her!! Maybe there could be some sort of goal like that for Will for the bed. On the other hand, it could
feel like pressure for some kids, so I guess you’d be able to guage that. The
preschool goal worked for Fraser too in terms of toilet training. He was trained
at two, but he fell into bad habits while playing outside, regressed because it
was too much trouble to come indoors!! He also went to the park program and knew he had to play it safe so to speak and moved on with his life. Now,
Sara, what about delayed adolescence? I haven’t mastered that one yet!!
Oh Sara. I smile reading that you think he is a “big boy”. He is just a baby! Don’t grow him up too fast 🙂 My baby is now 11 y/o and I hold on to EVERY bit of the baby in him but there is hardly any left.
However, that is not to say he isn’t ready for a Big Bed. I don’t think there is a set age. If you are starting to feel that he is ready because he is showing signs and not because you think he should be then I would say “go for it”! My son was a terrible sleeper in both crib and bed. My sis just transitioned her 18mth old (baby #2 on the way) and she slept better in her big bed than the crib. I would say if he is a good sleeper now it might take a little time but he will likely continue that way.
Good luck!
hmmm I should check….he’s pretty low weight though….the kid is tall but he’s a bean pole…just over 30lbs now….
Grace – that is my big fear too! will is a total helicopter!!! and he’s always shoved into one of hte four corners of his bed…i think he likes it that way…
thanks – mabye it will be our new years resolution!
We are having that conversation about Luka now. He is just 18 months but need to start making plans for him to move into the big boy crib. A friend of mine said that she waited until her son was 2.5 to move him and it was an easy transition. But, when they were taking apart the crib, they noted that he had already exceeded the weight restriction by 6 months. That might be something to consider with Will…is he within the correct weight range for your crib?
I agree that your son’s safety is the most important thing. My son LOVED his crib and he never tried to climb out. My concern was that my son helicopters in his sleep. He really covers the surface of his bed. He could start out with his head on one end, and wake up on the other side. I was worried that he might fall out of his toddler bed.
We finally made the switch after the holidays (and traveling and non-routine and all that hectic stuff), so the transition was not disrupted (and, yes, he did fall off the toddler bed a couple of times, but he was fine). We left the crib in his room for a while, but not once did he ask to go back. Getting nice big boy sheets, a duvet and a pillow just like mom and dad, was a source of great pride for him. The one thing about moving him to his own bed was that now he is able to get out of his room and the house needed another level of baby-proofing! Good luck!
Sara – Hud is still in a crib and he is OLDER THAN WILL! He makes no attempt to climb out of his crib and is perfectly happy there. Why the h$ll would you rush it?! he has plenty of years to be in his big boy bed. just sayin
Slow transition.
Get the bed, set it up and leave the crib in his room. Nap him in the bed and night time in the crib.
I did that with all 3 of mine and it worked great. I think because I was actually able to lie WITH them in the bed for stories and songs. They preferred it and made the night time switch easy.
Oh and get a double if you can – I put all mine from crib to double – lots of room to cuddle! Especially when they’re sick. I never have my kids in my bed when they’re sick – I always go in their bed.
As long you put him to bed with socks on, there’s nothing to grip onto to pull himself out!
I’m keeping mine in his crib for a bit longer. I’m not ready to unleash him just yet – and he really likes it! Eventually, I just plan to remove the rails and lower the mattress as far as it will go. My friend did this with her kid and it made for an easy transition and it looks good too. Why not make the most use of all these things we paid so much money for!
I waited until my kids could climb out before switching them to a big-kid bed. My oldest was 2.5 and she transitioned easily to a big bed then. I don’t think there’s a set age you have to move them out of the crib, but that’s just me. 🙂
really great point… I’m not at all sure he could climb out of it – like there is nothing for him to get leverage on – but I’m going to think about that one!
Thanks!!
Well, lets tackle the “sleep” fear first.
I don’t really know that it’s a given that it will mess with his sleep. Especially if he’s not normally waking up early in the AM and if he goes down fine. I would think you might have a week or two of adjustment and he’d probably go back to that. None of my three childrens sleeping patterns were altered significantly by moving to a big kid bed.
That said, my biggest thing about that crib issue has always been safety. There is a point at which it’s just not safe for a bigger kid to be in it anymore. Just because he hasn’t tried to climb out doesn’t mean he can’t….does it? (You know better than us)
What I did with my oldest two was just move them at 2. I felt like big beds are easier. Easier on mama’s back getting them in and out, easier so they can just get up in the morning if they want, easier changing linens, etc. With my 3rd, he starting climbing out at about 18 months. So he went to a big bed earlier. With all three, it made my life a tad bit easier, it wasn’t a problem at all.
I think you need to assess your situation and see if the sleep thing is really an issue and consider if he CAN climb out of the crib and go from there.