So, here I am, up at 4:52 am. And what am I doing? Worrying. About what you ask? Everything. Do you ever have that when you are tired & want more sleep but you just lie there while your mind spins? Well this is what mine is saying…
I need to wrap all of the presents. I need to buy something for the little guy from the big guy (you know the one with the red suit). I need to buy something for the little guy from my hubby’s sister’s family because she called me 3 days ago & inquired as to whether or not I would be interested in going out & buying my son his gift from them because she hadn’t gotten around to it (I love her, I swear I do). I have to finish all of the shopping for the "big sock" gifts (hate for little ones to read that & me break their hearts). I need to tidy up my kitchen. I need to bake cookies with my MIL & the little guy. I need to wash my hair. I need to tell the hubby that he needs to tell his employees that he is leaving sooner than Jan 2 (the date his boss wants him to tell them) considering he is leaving for good two days later. I need to stop writing out what I need, it’s not making me feel any better.
And oh ya, did I mention that it is my birthday & that I’m really missing my Mom. I know this sounds silly, but this is the first Christmas that I won’t see my Mom at all. They were here in Nov. & they will be back the end of January, but it just hit me as I sit here & write this that I won’t see her at all. We usually go back east to see both of our families, & it is a total whirlwind of 10 days spread across 2 countries & far too many family members, but it is fun nonetheless. So if we don’t spend actual Christmas with my family, we spend the time between Christmas & New Years with them. I didn’t have the energy this year to do it, plus my in-laws offered to come out here
My Mom is amazing at Christmas. She seems to do everything right & so effortlessly too. I’m not pulling off effortless so well this year. I’m tired. I have a two-year old who is not quite sure about this "other" set of people who we call Grandma & Grandpa (I wish they would all come up with different names). I have a little fetus who when not kicking me is giving me the worst heartburn ever. Crap, someone else is up.
Anyway, the only thing I can think of that will give me some semblence of sanity back is (in true Movie Mommy fashion) to go to a movie. So I’m thinking that I will take a few hours to myself over the next 2 days & say "I’m going to a movie by myself. Nope, I don’t need any company!" A bit harsh, but it is just what I need right now.
That & I might call my Mom.
Talked to my sister Barb today and we decided that no matter how prepared or organized we are for Christmas day, there comes a point in the day where total chaos reigns. Enjoy the chaos…it just comes with the territory.
Susan
Thanks so much for the well wishes!! It is hard not to let your emotions get the better of you when you feel a little overwhelmed. I had my alone time today & it was wonderful. Even finished up the last bit of shopping I needed to do! BTW, my Mom assures me that she doesn’t ever feel that she pulls off Christmas as effortlessly as I imagine. Maybe from the outside looking in people seem much more composed, while secretly they are hanging on by a thread inside. I’m just going to be thankful for that thread!!!
Happy Birthday Margot. It is so crummy to be missing your parents, but try and take heart in the fact that you will see them again and that you can call your mom. I’m thinking of sneaking out alone to see PS I Love You and disguising it as a last minute shopping trip.
We have been thinking of you today so Happy Birthday Margot – I think that worrying in the middle of the night is a female/mommy thing. Your remedy should work well.
Happy Birthday Margot!
For the first time ever, I will not be with my mom on Christmas. Since she and my dad divorced, things have been different (it’s been 5 years now), so this year she’s decided to go to Costa Rica for Christmas. She thinks that we won’t care to see her anyways, but I will miss her dearly. ((HUGS)) to you.
I like your idea about a movie by myself. I’ve always loved going to movies by myself, as does my father. I saw the movie Crash by myself, and called up my dad to tell him how great it was. He said he had just watched it the night before, and it turns out we were both in the exact same theatre watching the same movie…alone! If I can get away to see a flick this week, I think I’ll see August Rush or maybe Juno.
Merry Christmas!