Dear 20 year old me,
You’re at university now. You’ve left behind the safety of high school but you’ve packed up and carried your old insecurities with you to frosh week. Here’s a few things you should know…
* curly hair + bangs = nothing good
* molesting half of the hockey team will not do anything for you. And yes, even though they’re friends of yours – everyone will still think you’re a slut.
* pajama pants to class are comfy but ultimately? Just put some pants on – trust me.
And when you’re in bar in Halifax, and your gorgeous (and awesome) friend Cath is surrounded by guys and one of them looks over at you and says ‘wow – it must be hard to be friends with her’ and you run to the bathroom bawling (and think about that moment for years), I’m here to tell you 20 year-old self, that you won’t always feel this bad about yourself.
Years later, after many life lessons, you’ll be on a first date at a basketball game. You’ll be sitting next to two wasted guys who will lean over and say ‘my friend said your guy could do WAY better than you but I disagree.’ You’ll sit back in your chair, smile, and think ‘how drunk is this guy’ and continue with your night. (then you’ll share the ‘no bangs’ lesson with him).
And when your date messages you later to say what a ridiculous comment that was and sweetly compliments you, you’ll realize that he’s not saying it because he feels bad for you – you’ll just say thank you.
Most importantly, when you get home from University, diploma in hand, and you think ‘wow, THOSE were the best years of my life??’ and your mom says that it’s BS and that the best years of your life start after 40…don’t roll your eyes and tell her she’s insane because once again – you’ll learn – she’s always right.
Hang in there 20 year old self. I promise. It’s worth the ride.
AND FOR GODSAKES NO BANGS!!!
**this post was inspired by the amazing viral video going around about melanoma….please have a watch….***
so true – so very true!
Oh honey – think of how different our trip would’ve been if our 40-year-old selves could’ve prepped our 20-year-old selves??!?!? Scratch that – our broken hearts made us the vixens we are today! 🙂
I love this post! I also love Being Erica.
I think we do need to learn the lessons we learn in youth but I do wish that young women could be more comfortable in their skins on not rely on the opinions of others and images in the media.
I still see young girls and women so affected by their image and the opinions of boys.
How to help is the question. Run away and live in the country with no media???? I guess that’s not realistic.
As George Bernard Shaw said, “youth is wasted on the young.” So true! If I could go back I would reassure myself on so many points.
Sara, I loved your mom’s comment about the best years beginning after 40. That has been my experience too!
Hmmm..you’re inspiring me. I may have to do my own “dear self” post!
A “La Leche League” for tweens…definitely need that support system, Julie!! As my son tries to race towards teenage-dom, I see so much of my own teenage self, attitude, rolling eyes, disdain for parents/siblings in him. I wish we could teach our own kids the lessons we figured out with years and wisdom, but I know that each one of us has to figure it out for ourselves.
You’re doing a great job of figuring it out, Sara!
Ever watched “Being Erica”? She gets to go back and “fix” the past, address her regrets. It is amazing what happens.
I would tell myself “We are what we believe we are” (C.S. Lewis). And believe it.
hard to say what i would tell myself….all those uncomfortable moments helped shape me now i could argue. i would love to do a parallel universe thing to go back with my 41 year old brain into my 18 year old self and see how i would react to different situations…
i guess this is the “wisdom” i have gathered to pass on to my girls and that’s how you “go back”. you will probably teach will not to disrespect any woman like the bball morons and you will make another girl grow from your son’s kindness to her.
as my oldest hurtles towards ‘tween i have no clue what i’ll tell her! i need a la leche league for ‘tweens 🙂
okay, i would teach myself to tweeze my eyebrows properly…meant AT ALL! just call me bert!
I would tell myself to exercise an 45 minutes to an
hour a day for the rest of my life and that
it is the most important thing I could ever
do for myself. Even if it’s just a walk Also, that I should eat healthy
80 percent of the time. Everything else would fall
into place.
Seriously why did we do bangs with curly hair????
Love this one!!
I wish we were all kinder and lighter with our past selves, it would certainly clean up our issues quicker.