i always say i’m not going to go. always. and then i always end up going. always.
i can’t help it. i suffer from guilt. lots of guilt. and i’m not even catholic.
usually starting from the day we get back from a trip to my mom’s, she calls to make sure we arrived safely and then says, "ali, you need to check your schedule for when you can come in this _____"
"okay, mom. will do" i tell her this to appease her. but i have no intention of checking my schedule. because i have no intention of making a trip come _______.
no sir. not going to happen. i hate travelling with my children. i hate the fact that my mother enjoys having us around for the first 30 minutes and then gets tired. i hate that my mother works so much and leaves us vehicle-less. and i am always feeling my strongest the day we get back. because i’m so worn down and tired.
and then i string her along. she asks if i’ve checked my schedule. i tell her i haven’t had a chance to pee, much less do that. she tells me it’s getting late and that the prices are going to skyrocket.
and then, before i know it. i’m booked to visit my mother. i can’t NOT go. i feel too guilty. i know in my heart of hearts that i am going. and so does the husband. but he’s not this time. no, he has bigger balls than i do. he put his foot down and is staying home and going camping with the boy.
so, i’m going for the July long weekend to my mom’s. with my girls. because i’m a daughter riddled with guilt.
god help me.
but, my sister is going to be there. i’d travel almost anywhere to see her (and this is FREE!). and my aunt is getting married (for the third time…but getting married nonetheless) and my mom bought matching dresses and shoes and hairbows for the girls. and there’s a cheesecake factory. and there’s shopping. and then there’s the float…my stepdad, because he’s the mayor, gets to ride the float. and i wouldn’t miss that just about anything. my mom up on a float, waving to the crowd like she’s the queen. love.
My mom is 3h away and always wants us to come visit. I hate taking Carter for such long car rides because he gets so bored and then whinny and I can’t handle it.
I couldn’t even imagine having to take him on a plane. Ugh.
Your mom will be so happy to see you though! No guilt. 😀
ah, daughter guilt….my life is burdened with daughter guilt. Ever since my father passed away I’ve filled the advisor role for my mother and this year in particular has been chocked full of extra responsibilities – it’s like a full time job, on top of being at home with two small kids.
I guess it shows what strong values our parents raised us to have. As much as I’d love to shrug off my daughter guilt and say good-bye to my self-imposed responsibilities, I know deep down that I can’t so I keep going back, just like you.
Lucky for both of us that we have sisters….I don’t know what I would do without mine. And cheesecake is always a good motivator too.
It’s a total break when I go to see my parents (about 30 minute drive). But, I still feel guilty if they don’t get to see the kids every week. They would drop everything to come and see them or to have us visit, but sometimes my weekend schedule is just too busy. Enjoy the cheesecake!
I hear ya. I live a 4h drive away from my mother whose health is so poor she can only spend 10-20 minutes a day with my kid, nonetheless she practically expects weekly visits (and then complains when we go out to a mall when in town – while she sleeps).
Sounds like a classic case of “Jewish guilt” to me…. At least your sis will be there! She’ll help you out. It really IS too bad that your mom gets too tired to help you when you visit. When I visit my parents (5-10 minute walk from me…), they’re primary goal is to give me a break. It’s so nice and necessary for me. I can’t imagine traveling all that way you do, and not getting the help and break you’ll totally need. 🙁 But, I KNOW you’ll have a great time with your sis and CHEESECAKE!!!!