Last night around 10 o’clock my best friend called me on her way to her cottage from work in the city. She does this often in the summer because we don’t get to see each other as much.
Whenever I am on the phone with her my children here and her children there – always say ‘ I know you are on the phone with Aunt Nance/ Aunt Laura because you talk non stop, laugh hysterically and cry intermittently in a way you don’t with anyone else.’
Sometimes we laugh that we were separated at birth because we have so much in common. Last night I said – ok ‘ do you really care about Will and Kate?’ and she laughed and said “who?” It is that way with the best of friends- they get you immediately even when you are incoherent, they know you like they know themselves, they accept you when you are small minded and petty and they see you as you want to be seen-maybe a much better version of yourself then you really are.
Stop and think for a moment what it is like to not have someone like that in your life.
Best friends are like mothers to us. But we get to mother them too. We take turns. The year I separated her mom died and we kept saying to each other “have I been there for you because I feel like it has been all about me” And the other always laughed- “what are you talking about- it has all been about me”. One night way back then, we sat on her front porch drinking a cold beer and we both cried. We looked at each other and said- “next year will be better.”
It is like all the hard stuff, all the good stuff all the funny stuff is way easier, better and funnier because we have each other.
I say to her all the time- when I have a relationship with a man like the one I have with her I will ask him to marry me.
Last night while I was talking to her I was getting a little tired so I put her on speaker phone, slipped on my jammies, brushed my teeth, washed my face all while we were still talking. I crawled into bed. Ok, I peed too. Then I turned off the light.
We kept talking. I finally said ‘I am falling asleep’ and said goodnight. It was like she tucked me in and told me a story.
When I hung up I saw the timer on the phone read 2 hours and 14 minutes. And we barely got into it.
how wonderful. how safe. how fun!
Yes Nancy. We have been “The Three Musketeers” since we were six.
oh do not apologize – I comment impulsively and erratically and you are always very thoughtful and good. As I said I need to work on this problem I have with anyone feeling even remotely sorry for me in any way- honestly I just go cuckoo. And you were not doing that!
And I never think of you as sulky- just contemplative. xxn
Lucky you aileen. Are your two besties besties to each other ?
Hi Nancy,
Oops, my sighs were meant for me and my missing a call-me-anytime bff. Sorry I placed them in the wrong spots (plus sulking in comment posts is poor form of me).
You have a really special connection that many of us DREAM of with another female. It’s like I was too busy thinking about Y2K and forgot to make a best friend.
(Stevie is a super good friend but after all, he is limited to only so many words a day due to his y chromosome and no matter how open a man he is, his perspective is still not feminine enough sometimes.).
I will try to keep in mind a wish that my daughters grow up to be true friends like this one day.
So, I didn’t mean like, Charles Dickens’ hardships or anything like that. I regard your life as quite charmed because of all the good that’s in it.
I meant I was so happy for your awesome best friend match in they way that when we feel that joy hearing a lottery win for some folks. Yes, it’s nice when a sweet old person wins it, but boy does it feels extra YIPPIE when a working-class family does.
I should have just kept my sulking to myself and just said “Extra YIPPIE”.
🙂
I will (try to) meditate on opening my life to stumbling on a great girl friend. I should also make the time to take some courses that interest me and I might find someone special that way too.
night
i
There is NO ONE like your best girlfriend. Not your husband, not your mother, not your sister. I am blessed to have two besties who have been with me for most of our lives. What treasures. Loved your post Nancy.
Sue! good to hear from you. so glad you married your best friend. We need to get together this fall and compare camp and life notes-xn
Loved this. It is so true and special. I did marry my Bff too so get a male version. Need to find your an Andrew Nancy as you are so special. Laura sounds amazing and although I don’t know her hope to one day when life provides more time.
Running my kiddy camp this week with 8 primaries.it went amazing, but am nowSipping wine after last day.
Miss seeing you.
Sue
Xo
yikes Id, don’t say ‘hardships’ – I can’t bear the idea of you seeing me that way. see how I have a problem with that? I can’t bear anyone feeling sorry for me even if that was not your meaning (and I know it wasn’t- must work on this problem I have)
Maybe Steve is that friend or perhaps quirky old soul Emily?
xoxoxoxo
Always love our late night chats where we tell each other all the exciting and not so exciting stuff going on in our daily lives. We chat endlessly about the funny things we think we said, the funny things we think we did and when we were premenstrual and perhaps not at our finest. There is nothing you don’t know about me and I about you – and the kicker is, we still like each other.
Best friends are such a gift. I’m so glad you ended up under my Christmas tree.
*sigh* for all your hardships Nancy, this is such deserved miracle of luckiness.
Now I am going to daydream away of a bff…*sighing some more*
xo
I