I pushed my weighed-down shopping cart into the check out line, all three kids whining about something, and began unloading my food onto the conveyer belt.
“Do you ever make porridge?” a scornful voice ahead of me called.
I glanced up from the task of lifting goods from my cart and saw an older woman pointing at the boxes of Cheerios I was setting down.
“That stuff is horrible. It’s empty,” she sneered, pointing her talon-like finger at the Cheerios.
I pretended to glance at the ingredients list, just to appease her, and I feigned interest and said, “Oh, really?” hoping she would leave it at that and leave me alone.
“So you’re saying you can’t read?!” she hacked. “Kids need porridge with fresh fruit and almonds!”
I didn’t know what to say. I had never been so publicly chastised by someone I had never met before.
She finally took off, but I was reeling as I paid for my things and I wish I had handled it better.
I am not a confrontational person by nature so I didn’t rise to her accusations with inflammatory defenses, hoping she’d just drop it and leave me alone. But after she left, I wish I had retaliated and told her that, “It’s CHEERIOS, for heaven’s sake. And, more importantly, it’s absolutely none of your business what I feed my kids, and for the record, they eat more fruits and vegetables than any kids we know, and they are healthy and active!” and…then I would have kicked her in the nards.
Have you ever had an encounter like this where someone openly criticized your choices? How did you handle it? Did you lay the smack down, or cower and hope they left you alone after their diatribe was complete? (Then harbour nard-kicking revenge fantasies?)
Whew! I had a similar encounter with a ‘dear’ lady behind me in line analyzing and commenting on my choices as I placed them on the belt. I was so astonished I didnt know what to say back–I just looked at her in amazement at her rudeness. The poor cashier was very embarassed.
I was in an Ikea elevator when a woman critizied me for not breast feeding my son. I wish I had more nerve to tell her to mind her own business and then put her in her place.
What she didn’t realise was that I am a breast cancer survior and due to surgeries I was unable to breast feed. I wish I had thrown THAT in her face!
People really need to mind their own business.
When my daughter was around 3yrs we used to have to go to the laundromat on a weekly basis and as such got to be a bit of a fixture. Anyhoo, my baby girl has always been a little woman from day one and believes that she should do just like mom in everything (talk about accountability!!). I also believe that it is never to early for them to learn life skills…so I would let her help me load and unload the washer and load up the dryer. She would then pull up a stool and vigilantly watch “her” dryer, normally the one with the washcloths or socks in it. Once that alarm went off she would pull over one of the baskets and ask for help to unload “her” laundry and then stand on the stool beside me at the folding table and “fold” her laundry. She always got a kick out of the idea that we work doing laundry together.
Well, I guess this became too much for one lady because she came over to me and let me know that what I was doing was child-labour and therefore abusive and that she was a baby and didn’t need to be burdened with my work and that I should be ashamed of myself for my laziness…well! To be clear, I didn’t punch her in the neck, but after sending my daughter back to the dryer to finish collecting her socks I calmly asked her if it was her privates that had three stitches in it from delivering that child and before she could answer I let her know that under no circumstances did I give a rat’s ass what she thought. Not my proudest moment…but it made me feel better!!
My mom was a big advocate of “kill them with kindness.” A smile and “thank you for sharing your opinion with me”, and then going about your business, may be lost on the rude lady, but won’t be lost on any of the onlookers, and hopefully your kids will learn grace in the face of rudeness from you just like I did from my mom!
Tee hee, that’s too funny in such a bad way! lol My friend Richie was just talking about getting nasty looks from people when he drags his misbehaving kids out of a store or public place and said that he’s actually done the sarcastic questioning shoulder-shrug accompanied by a “What?! What do you want?!” That would be SUCH a funny way to handle something like this…as soon as you see the woman give your groceries a dirty look, just fling your hands out and go, “What?! What do you want?! Cheerios are in aisle five!”
I wouldn’t be able to say what I wanted either.
Grrr. I wouldn’t be able to say what I wanted either. I’d be too busy picking my jaw back up from the conveyor belt. That’s the kind of thing that leaves you fuming for the whole day — as you come up with excellent comeback lines, one after the other. Oy.
Amanda – how did I miss this post??? The picture made me howl! I’m a total George Costanza…come up with the comeback later on. I had a teenage check out girl chastise me for Will not wearing a sweater one day……I did look at her and say ‘you are kidding me right’…..
I’m going to start hanging out wiht Chantel so she can fight my battles for me!
BAWWWWWW I have had so many comments ha, ha. But I am the confrontational type and probably would have said something really nasty or depending on how my day was going might have just said really sweetly “Thanks for your concern but f*&! off. Have a great day.” LOL What a crazy ol bat!
I likely would’ve handle it exactly like you did – I’m not the confrontational type either. But I read something the other day about keeping your cool in situations just like that, when your kid are watching. If we freak out at crotchety old ladies that spout off their opinions even though no one cared what they thought, then how do we expect our kids to treat difficult people in school or even just life in general?
But if your kids aren’t there, next time I’d put her in a head lock and give her a noogie. Lol! You kept your cool and were a great example to your girls. That deserves a pat on the back. 🙂
That sucks for sure but at least she was a bitter old lady and you wouldn’t see her again. There is nothing worse than when it is a “friend” doing the criticizing. I had one tell me that she heard from someone that I let my kids (8 & 11 at the time) scooter to the store by themselves and then she asked if I thought Children’s Aid might be interested in knowing that! Needless to say, we are no longer “friends”.
Bah! I would have done exactly what you did! I am non-confrontational and would have thought of the MILLION things I would have said afterwards! Boo!! Boo to old cranky women who know it all!! You should have cried out MY CHILDREN ARE ALLERGIC TO ALMONDS!!! AND FRUIT!! AND OATMEAL!!! BACK OFF!!!!!
Honestly, I would have fought back tears for being chastised so publicly and said next to nothing. Then I would have gone home and SEETHED with rage for days!
Poor you – that was AWFULLY rude!! Gah. I hate people.
But, I LOVE punching old ladies in the neck… send her my way. 😉
I would have replied in the sweetest voice I could muster “Why yes ma’am, yes I do make porridge, or should I say USE to make porridge. My doctor advised against me continuing to feed porridge to my family as we were all getting a bit to pudgy around the middles from eating things are supposed to be good for us. Thus we eat ’empty’ food now.” Then I would have told her to have a lovely day!
My sister’s facebook status from last week “A little old lady at the grocery store just asked me if my daughters have the same father and when I said yes she said “Are you sure dear? They don’t look alike.”.
Same little old lady must be making her way across the country in an attempt to bring mothers to tears in grocery store lineups!