Carpe Diem

We all know it, don’t we? That we have to seize the day, live life to the fullest, make every moment count. But the minutiae of everyday life bog us down and we get so caught up in the details that we forget to make the most of the important things. Until the lesson hits home in a bad way.

That’s what happened to me last week, when my husband’s step-mother passed away.

Let me give you a bit of background – only nine weeks before her death we got the news that she had been diagnosed with gallbladder & liver cancer, following a visit to the hospital for back & abdominal pain. From the moment of diagnosis, we knew the outlook was grim. Our first instinct was shock – this was an active, otherwise healthy woman in her sixties, with a short, short prognosis of three to six months of life left to live. The next nine weeks were packed with ever more distressing updates as the disease advanced much faster than anyone had expected.

And last week my husband and I took our children back to Ontario to attend Gran’s funeral.

At the service there was the usual program with hymns and readings, and a nice photo on the cover. But there was another, more personal piece – a letter from my husband’s step-mother to those she left behind. And at the heart of this very emotional letter was this message: don’t waste the time you’re given on this earth.

The funeral had even sadder echoes for me, too. Memories of my cousin, Madeleine, who passed away from cancer far, far too soon, when her babies were still just that: babies. Maddy also had a shock diagnosis and was taken from us far sooner than expected by a disease that does not discriminate and takes no prisoners. In the wake of a death that seemed to make no sense, the only positive message to take away was the same: make the most of every moment you have with your loved ones.

And I’m trying to keep that thought front and centre these days. When my youngest asked me if we could eat our lunch picnic-style out in the sunshine on the back deck, I said "sure!". What the heck, I have to break for lunch anyway, don’t I? Why not get a vitamin D boost (but not a sunburn) while I’m at it? And, more importantly, why not make a little girl’s day, too?

The whole experience has also given me a renewed focus on my healthy lifestyle habits. As you know, I went back to Weight Watchers 2 weeks ago (although I had to miss a meeting on Saturday while we were in Ontario) and I’m still tracking my points daily (which has been my most important predictor of success so far). I was also able to get a run in yesterday, albeit a short one. Getting (and now, staying) healthy is one way I can try to ensure a longer, happier life for myself and my family. It’s no guarantee, but it’s a good bet, anyway.

The way I see it, making time for the important things first is a good way of honouring the memory of loved ones whose time was cut short.