With three daughters, they’re bound to gravitate towards different interests and hobbies. So far they have a very balanced sense both of girly-girl things and tom-boy pursuits. They both love fancy dress-up clothes and wearing clickety-clackety plastic princess shoes; they both love tromping barefoot in the orchard and digging in the mud. However, of the two older girls, my middle daughter is definitely a tad less feminine than her sister. For her third birthday party she wanted a Buzz Lightyear theme, so we made it happen and she was over the moon.
She loves playing with toy cars, back-hoes and boats. And I love it. It’s so her.
I am just wondering how you all approach gender identity and roles with it with your kids. Do you let your little boys dress up in frilly gowns and play house? Or do you discourage such behaviour? Would you try to steer your three year-old daugther towards a more feminine birthday party theme or tell her you’re ready to go “to infinity….and BEYOND!”
I’ve never commented before but have a funny story regarding “gender” toys.
I have twin boys and their father is all about the “manly”. For preschool year end party, the kids all got to pick a toy. One of the boys picked a “barbie” and his Dad freaked and said “NO, you can’t play with that”. I was a little peeved as he was only three. I asked him (their Dad) to let it ride…my other boy said (mimicking his Dad) “dolls are for girls”.
I let him take the doll home….the next day I found all the clothes of the doll on the floor, the next day all the hair ripped out, the next day the head, arms and legs were all missing. All boy playing with a doll 🙂
I think letting them play without prejudice at this age is a good thing….
I agree with everyone here, too… though I will say that I don’t go out of my way to encourage my daughter’s love of all-things-princess, but just for the sake of balance. If she wants a princess birthday party, I will make one for her, but I won’t offer it up if she doesn’t ask me for one. 🙂
I’m with @Jen and @feilin – We don’t get to decide what will interest our kids, and I see no value in discouraging them from wearing what they want to wear, or playing with what they want to play with. I have a boy in a girl, and both of them play trucks, dig in the mud, wrap flowing scarves around their bodies, put on butterfly wings, smash towers, refuse Disney Princess movies, and LOVE Lightning McQueen and Rio. And so on. This is supposed to be a fun age, right? I say, let them enjoy it!
LOVE this, feilin! My girl is really into sports and has more boy friends than girl friends. She is 8 1/2 and never wears a dress and does not care at all about the gossip and crushes and fashion of her peers. I sometimes worry because she doesn’t have a lot in common with them but I also admire her so much for being so secure in who she is. Encourage her to be who she is. It is the best way for her to find happiness!
I was a tomboy I remember distinctly hating being a girl and the dirtier I could get on the farm the better , I drove tractors with my dad , jumped off bales of hay , birthed cattle and lambs with my small hands- all jobs my older brother hated.
Today i love my husband I like who I am and my brother is distinctly more manly .
I still hate wearing dresses and often I long to be back on the farm with my dad but it is what it is. Your children are amazing and unique. I remember being out on the farm early one morning in my mothers coat and high heeled boots and coming up the yard and my dad looking out the window and laughing at me.
That kind of childhood is great , we will be what we will be.