I wait for her on the side of the road with her two younger sisters in tow. We wave as the bus trundles down the street towards us, she hops down its steps and I give her a big hug asking, “How was your day at school? Did you have fun? It’s so good to see you! Who did you play with today?” She holds my hand as we walk back home and once we’re through the door and she’s dumped her backpack in the entryway the first thing she says is, “Can I watch a movie? And have something to eat?” and I am not sure what to do next.
She is in kindergarten all day, every day and she’s tired when she gets home. She’s been ‘on’ all day long and is craving some peace and quiet, a chance to unwind and relax. But I’m not sure how best to help her achieve that. I don’t want her to become a couch potato who stuffs her face with corn chips and watches three hours of Disney before dinner each night. I want to really connect with her when she comes home from being gone all day, but I want her to be able to have some time to herself, too, if that’s what she needs.
So I’m looking for some advice: how you help your kids unwind? Do you permit them a bit of TV or screen time when they come home from school or do you think that’s a poor idea? The way I see it is that so long as it’s in small amounts and is balanced by other activities (she likes colouring and play-doh and running in the orchard, too) it’s OK. But I don’t want to set any unhealthy habits, either and have them snowball into something that really negatively affects her.
(I do make sure the snacks are healthy options, just so you know. Lots of fruit and whole grains. Nothing bad like cheezies or, heaven forbid…CHEERIOS.)
Anyways, please fill me in on how you help your kids have healthy down time. I need some ideas!
I have a routine with my kids that they have to do two things before they can “unwind” at the end of the day. They have to tell me a few things about their day (who they played with, a fun activity, etc) in a sufficient amount of detail. They have to hug me. The second is maybe a given for some but my oldest has Asperger’s so this is something we build into routine so he remembers. 🙂
After that, they’re allowed about 20 minutes of video game time. I usually set a timer so that way it’s the timer that dictates them, not me yelling at them to turn it off already. If it doesn’t go off right away when the timer goes, they lose out the next day.
I stop at the school playground for 1/2 an hour before coming home it gives her some time to burn energy and come down a bit. (on day’s it isn’t raining).. once home its snack and homework at the same time..otherwise it’ll be a fight later..I do try to make her homework fun..spelling B’s etc. after that it will depend on the day and the child, but most days I dont’ allow TV till after dinner. She knows it’s a rule and so will find other things to do.
We fall into that trap sometimes too, although our kids are in preschool until 5pm. So by the time we get them home and have to fix dinner, we need to enroll the “electronic babysitter” for a while just to get things ready. However we definitely offer the kids the opportunity to help with dinner. This is more fun than it is work work for them. Or we will try and get them to colour pictures or work on puzzles while they wait.
Once they start getting off at 3pm and have like 3 hours to kill before dinner, that will be much trickier I’m sure. Especially during the winter when we cant just let them run around the backyard for 2 hours.
healthy snacks are the most important thing though. I mean TV isn’t great, but it can be very educational. I mean my 4 year old can count to 10 in Spanish thanks to Dora. But the snacks have to be fruit, cheese, yogurt, veggies or whole wheat toast. Things like that.
I usually let the girls watch half an hour to an hour of TV after school. It gives them time to unwind, eat their snack, and relax before they fight for the rest of the day.
Hi. I’ve been finding that Micah wants to watch some TV too when he gets home (and he’s only at school half days). He’s also totally exhausted the rest of the day from just being in school in the morning. Its been difficult to not watch too much. We’ve been playing the wii together too. I feel bad for Caleb who waits around for Micah to come home and then Micah just wants to be by himself. We’ll all adjust I guess. So, TV good. I try to do one thing with Caleb while Micah is gone and then do one thing with all three of us and then one thing just whatever Micah wants. Its helping, I think. Looking forward to more mom’s feedback. This is all new. I can’t keep up with housework, work, family and friends either. It sounds like its pretty normal for the age of our kids.
I do the exact same thing to Katie as soon as she gets off the bus- asking a million questions about her day and all I get are shrugs and one word answers. She has always been a kid too that needs her quiet time/space too and I notice it even more with the full days of Grade 1. She often wants a snack and then to watch a show too. I always get her have a snack to recharge her batteries because some days she’s too busy on lunch break to eat or drink properly. I then let her play for a bit with Josh or watch a bit of T.V. but I find it can’t be too long because then if she relaxes too much it’s just too hard for her to get her head back into doing homework (yes, we have what I consider too much for Grade 1 but that’s another story). But I find if I give her the space she needs, it never fails that later in the evening at dinner or before bed the verbal diarrhea of her day comes and I get the details of her day…just on her timing, not mine. This is definitely a different stage of life that we are trying to get used to!
Thanks for writing this Amanda…I think of it all the time! I feel the same way….Will always wants to watch Treehouse and it drives me nuts to hear ‘I want Treehouse’ as the first thing I hear…drives me crazy. But I feel the same, he’s so tired all the time after school.
Looking forward to the comments….thanks for raising it!
My kids watch a little tv at the end of the day. They’re tired. I’m tired. We’ve all been “on” all day and need a break from ourselves and each other. They watch something educational for thirty minutes or so while I catch up on my blog reading, and we’re all better friends afterward.
My daughter has always needed some time by herself after school, even when she was in playschool. It’s always been self-initiated. She just drifts off to her room to play for a little while before she’s ready to be around everyone, again.
Also, Erin makes a very good point about rehydrating after school. I was surprised at how little she drinks during the day – too busy playing to stop, I guess – a big glass of water or juice as soon as she gets home really does charge her batteries again.
I think a little TV is fine. Limit it to one show while she eats her snack and has a drink (kids at school don’t drink enough during the day generally). Then, she can play. She will get used to it over time. My girls were so tired the first few months, then they adjusted.
I think some tv after school is fine… they DO need to unwind a bit! Especially if it’s what she’s actually asking for.
With my bigger kid, I find I need to force the homework straight away most days, since getting his head back into the game after he plays/rests is just too hard. I give in on days when it’s clear that he won’t buckle down… I think all this stuff is fairly fluid. Some days are chatty and happier… others, not so much.
I’m glad she’s enjoying her life at school though!!