Back to Work After Baby

As a working mother and someone who writes a lot about work/life balance issues, I am constantly hearing from women how hard it is to transition back to work after the birth of a baby. It seems that while the new one-year maternity leave is a welcome improvement, the longer time frame is actually making it more difficult for women to get back into the workplace groove. After 12 wonderful months with your baby, WHAM you’re back at your desk (crying) while your baby is spending the day with another caregiver.

Of course, returning from maternity leave is emotional for any mom, whether you do it when your baby is 2 or 12 months old. When I took the train downtown for a meeting, right after going back to work with my first son, I found his little white mittens in my pocket. I was so frantic I thought about pulling the emergency brake, demanding they turn the train around and take me home.

I’m happy to report it did get better! And I have learned a few things from my experience, and my conversations with other moms, about how to make the transition back to work easier on you and your baby:

Make child care your #1 priority
Finding the right childcare for you and your baby is the most important thing you can do to ensure peace of mind when you return to work. Experts recommend getting your name into the daycare of your choice one year before you’ll need it. When deciding on a care arrangement, ask yourself: “Will I feel comfortable leaving my baby here eight hours a day?” and let your instincts guide you.

Plan a phase-in period
To help you and your child adjust to the new care arrangement, try dropping him/her off for short periods of time and gradually lengthening the time you’re apart. Then begin transitioning yourself back to work – moms need a phase-in period too. Start with a visit to your office or lunch with a colleague. Then see if you can negotiate a three-day work week your first month to help you ease back in.

Keep life simple
For working mothers, simplicity is key to sanity. Put some basic morning and evening routines in place to make your life more manageable. Don’t plan too much on weeknights or weekends so you can catch up on your sleep and relax with your baby. And forget about homemade meals or having a sparkling clean toilet – give yourself a break.

Reassign domestic duties
Funny how having a baby suddenly qualifies us to run the household, pick up the dry cleaning and bring the car in for servicing. Now that you’re going back to work you’ll need to reassign some of those tasks to your spouse. Find a quiet time to talk with your partner about who will do what once you head back to work. Be specific and put it in writing.

Pack lots of Kleenex
No matter how much you plan ahead, you are going to cry and feel guilty a lot. This is completely normal. Accept your feelings and find comfort where you can, whether this means checking in with your child’s caregiver, having coffee with a fellow working mother or going for a secret sob around the block. Like many things in life, this too shall pass and you’ll soon see that working and motherhood can go happily hand in hand.

Jacqueline Foley, author of Flex Appeal: An Inspirational Guide to Flexible Work for Mothers, will lead a two-part “Back-to-Work Café” aimed at helping moms “ease” back to work, at the Ella Centre for Pregnancy and Parenting, starting November 3. urbanmoms.ca members receive a special 10% OFF the regular workshop fee. For more information about the workshop click here.