Yes Suri, Babe, Suri’s REAL
Unless you live on Mars, you’ve heard about pictures of Suri Cruise that are gracing twenty-two pages of the latest issue of Vanity Fair.
Photo c/o http://www.vanityfair.com/magazine/pressroom/
This poor, poor child. Well, okay, she’s rich beyond your wildest dreams (so, technically not poor), and she has great hair and a combination of her parents’ celebrity good looks. But, the whole world is talking about her. And, people are mean. Put her up in lights, and she’s a target for criticism. And, the InterGossips are criticising. Bitches. I’m not going to be a part of it. We Urban Moms know better than that. She’s a baby! It’s not her fault her parents are exploiting her so they can reclaim their title as King and Queen of all things perfect, famous and deliriously happy.
In case you were wondering, the reason Suri’s been in hiding for the past 5 months is, supposedly, because Scientologists believe that noise is very very bad for a developing baby…. So, I’m just sitting here thinking that maybe going from complete silence (and darkness?) to a bevy of flashing cameras can’t be good for anyone. Ya think? But, I guess poor Suri should get used to it.
If you want to see Matt Lauer’s interview with the very proud editor of Vanity Fair, Jane Sarkin, click here. Apparently, Vanity Fair didn’t have to pay the Cruises a dime for this shoot. But, if you listen to the interview, painful as that might be, you can see they absolutely did pay. They paid with Sarkin’s very rehearsed PR effort and rumour control: to paraphrase Sarkin, "Tom is such a hands-on father," "Tom changes diapers," "Katie’s parents are very involved," etc., etc..
Oh, more Cruise news: Did you hear Tom apologized to Brooke Shields for his whole postpartum/antidepressants rant? She said he was genuine. And, she said, "I accepted." This got me thinking: maybe there’s hope for world peace after all…?
NEXT!
Gwenny, Out and About With Baby Kingston
Photo by Jason Winslow c/o Splash News Online.
Gorgeous. Just plain gorgeous. She’s lost the baby weight — she’s, like, the only celebrity (her and Debra Messing) who took her healthy sweet time losing the baby weight. Kudos!
Photo by Jackson Lee c/o Splash News Online.
Here she is strolling the streets of Manhattan with her hubby Gavin Rossdale, Heidi Klum, Seal and the kiddies. Talk about yummy mummies….
Was I the Last to Know?: Carolyn FIRED from The Apprentice
Can you believe??? This news was released, like, 5 days ago….But, still. We are HUGE (or, as the Donald likes to say, YUGE) fans of The Apprentice here at "Cheaty’s Celebrity Gossip." So, we are shocked that Carolyn Kepcher, Trump’s sidekick and married mother-of-two, is officially gonzo from the Trump organization. FIRED! Shocker of all shockers! Why was she fired? Because, says a source for the New York Post Online, she "became a prima donna….Being on
‘The Apprentice’ went to her head. She was no longer focused on
business. She was giving speeches for $25,000 and doing endorsements." Apparently, The Donald’s daughter Ivanka is replacing Carol, and his son Don Jr. is replacing George in the upcoming season of The Apprentice. Great. That should be…fun.
Britney to Name Baby #2 "Jailynn"?
Photo c/o Splash News Online.
According to the NY Daily News, Britney’s planning to name her new baby (a girl, apparently) "Jailynn." This silly, silly name — because it has the word "jail" in it, and kids are mean — is a concoction of Britney’s very own in honour of her parents Jamie and Lynn, and her younger sister Jamie Lynn.
Brit Brit is scheduled for a C-Section on Sean Preston’s birthday, September 14. Great. Poor guy’s gonna have to share the spotlight and his birthday now….
Because You Wanted Josh Holloway Pics
Honestly, there’s no good scoop on Josh Holloway among the InterGossips (unless you think that the guy who plays Mr. Eco being arrested on Saturday in Hawaii for driving without a licence and disobeying police is good gossip…). And, there rarely is. Hmm…wonder why? Maybe because most of us are just not that into him. Kidding. I know you LURVE him. So, because I LURVE you, here are some pics for your drooling pleasure.
This is how we’re used to him, right? Dirty, greasy, straggly. So. not. into this.
Better….
Oooo…close up. Not bad, not bad!
Sorry, Ladies, he’s married.
Now, let’s talk about Clive Owen, shall we…?! Actually, here he is in the latest GQ. I am so disappointed. Who’s the stupid idiot that told him to grow facial hair?
(Photos of Josh Holloway c/o TV.com; photo of Clive from GQ/Features at Men.Style.com.)
The Puppet-Master OUSTED from the Big Brother House
I’m so depressed that Will is gone from the Big Brother house! I loved Will. He was a smart, manipulative "asshole." The kind that every woman loves…. Including Janelle. She had to get rid of him because, as The Mother ‘Hood’s Her Bad Mother pointed out as eloquently as ever in my last post’s comments, Janelle’s crush on him was "diminishing her girl power." Wah, though. I’ll miss his hilariousness, gorgeousness, and the evil music they played when he’s on screen. I’d say I’ll miss his imaginary phone calls with Boogie, but I’m hating Boogie after the last episode — he’s mean, and horrible for totally "homancing" Erika.
*Favourite Willism ever: "Having a battle of wits with Howie would be unfair. I mean, he’s totally unarmed." We will miss you terribly Willy. Go Janelle!
The Cheaty Monkey: You Know You’re MUBAR When….
"MUBAR" is a term coined by Jennifer Lawrence, of the awesome blog MUBAR: it stands for Mothered Up Beyond All Recognition. Look at my living room:
Help. The Cheaty Little Monkey is taking over my whole house! MUBAR, I am. Here’s proof.
For more on me and my Cheaty Little Monkey (she has a new trick, friends!), please visit my other blawg over here! You’re always welcome.
Steve Irwin (1962-2006)
To my mind, this should be the first topic of today’s post. It’s certainly more news-worthy than Tom and Katie’s 22 pages of Vanity Fair. But, I didn’t want to start on such a sad note. We are very sad about the loss of Steve Irwin here at the animal-loving Cheaty’s Celebrity Gossip blog. Although many people enjoyed laughing at Irwin’s eccentricities and funny words ("crikey," among many others), this was a man who cared deeply for animals. It doesn’t matter if he did it for shock value, entertainment, or money, as many like to say. He shared with the world an unprecedented passion, enthusiasm and respect for animals. For that, I honour and will miss him.
Photos c/o Splash News Online.
It’s All About You!
So, got feedback? What do you think of some of this gossip? Are you as repulsed as I am by Suri’s debut? As saddened by Will’s defeat on Big Brother? As sorry for the loss of Steve Irwin? And, got any gossip requests? (This just in: the InterGossips are reporting that John Mayer dumped Jessica Simpson because he thought she was using him for publicity…ouch.) Anyway, let’s hear it! Let the comments begin!
I was thinking about whether or not steve irwin being stabbed through the heart by a normally docile stingray was ironic or not. then decided that the most ironic way for him to have died would have been if he had been hunted by a crocodile. Although upon looking up the definition of irony, it would have been for him to die peacefully in his sleep…..not quite as funny….or ironic.
As for Tomcat, I have yet to recover from The breakup with Nicole.
So I watched Eyes Wide Shut last weekend…just as awesome and bizarre & Kubrick as I recall. Especially the last line of the movie. For those of you who don’t remember or haven’t seen it, it starts with an “F”, ends in a “UCK”, and rhymes with “FIRETRUCK”
I was very distraught with Steve Irwin’s passing. His enthusiasm will never be matched with the same charm and realness….
Baby Suri is a cutie pie! I was thrilled to see the pics- she is a big mop of hair and pretty pretty eyes. No matter what happens to Tom – he did good, he really did….
Jen, ahem, yes. Janelle is gone. I reacted to this briefly on my other blog –http://www.cheatymonkey.com/
Still speechless. I’m not rooting for either of them. HATE. I just want Janelle to win the $25,000 jury prize now. s’all I care about.
ummm…is Janelle gone…pardon but have missed a few. So, Haley, who’re you rootin’ for now?
I am DEVASTATED about Janelle. Can’t…talk. about it. I need some time to get used to the reality of her Big Brother demise. Devastated. Devastated. Devastated. Dammit. Just. Dammit.
Suri – adorable, but wearing a wig.
Will – gah. Janelle (tonight) – GAAAAHHHHH.
Josh Holloway – mmmmm… yum.
Haley-O: LOVE your blog! And FWIW, I’m with you in the Clive camp – but I DO like the facial hair. The B&W pic, yum. Not feeling the love with Joshy-boy, tho. And Suri-surprise, she does actually look like both Tom and Katie. I was so sure she was a figment of everyone’s imagination…still, almost more sad that she’s real, actually.
Did you hear the latest rumor? Suri is actually Chris Klien’s, and that’s why Katie was “in hiding” for SO long before baby. FUNNY.
Go Janelle!! And nummy pics…fun times.
Poor baby Suri. Money can buy you many many wonderful things in life. But no amount of money can ever take back War of the Worlds.
okay…i realize that may have been harsh because just about every female i know is in LOVE with him…but i just don’t see it.
granted, he’s COOL. and i’ll give him that. and most accents make me swoon. but he just doesn’t do it for me…
oh my god, seriously, Clive Owen is UGLY.
no offense.
ew.
Wow…baby Suri has a lot of hair! She is cute but there is something just “not right” about that situation. THANK YOU for the Josh Holloway pics…yum! Can’t wait until we can enjoy him every week once Lost premiers. So, so sad about Steve Irwin…