My kids usually go to bed around the same time but because of extra curricular activities and some really good books or conversations we often don’t quite make it. I find, especially as my kids get older, their activities are later and this turns out to be a fabulous time for us to mellow out and chat. I hear more about their days and their friends or questions they may have during pre-bed than pretty much any other time. They are reflecting on their days and that’s when things come up.
When they were little we had an approximate bedtime but now not as much. Are we the only ones?
I think flexibility is the key, my first 2 kids (now grown and starting families of their own) always had a time that they had to go to their rooms, we’d sit and talk read a story, then it was their turn to read on their own. As they got older the reading time would last longer and longer, but if they stayed up too late, natural consequences took over. My middle child (now a teenager) was always and still is a sleeper going to bed on her own at 9pm most school nights. I now have a one year old (second marriage) and we struggle with his sleeping. UI think each child is different and so should our parenting styles be.
Kathy
For the same reason you point out, bedtime has become more relaxed around here. My kids are older and their activities are later, so we’ve let go of the strict bedtime. They finish homework, have a snack or chill out with me on the couch. I’m more strict about the general hour during the school year, but summer is a veritable free for all here!
let’s face it, i’m way too busy watching Big Brother to make them go to sleep at a regular time this Summer.
I think it is far more important that you and the kids are conversing with each other than having them in bed and forgoing the conversation. That is what they will remember more and make them good parents to their kids. We have general bed times, especially during the school year for my older boy, but they are not carved in stone. If he is looking tired or xtra cranky than we just put him to bed early.
Now for my little one we just pray the little bugger will close his eyes and go to bed, but no matter what he will not close his eyes till at least 8:30 — we tried — he just is a night owl.
We are strict during the school year but much more relaxed during summer! They are still usually in bed by 9pm though.
I agree about the chat aspect of it. And our bedtime is more of a moving target than a drop-dead time. Life just has a way of getting messy, ya know?
We have a very strict bedtime during the school year. I am a teacher and have a heavy commute in each morning. It is a necessity to go to bed early because the 3 monkey’s and I need to be out of the house at 6:30 each morning! However, as I sit here on the computer at 10:42 at night my 6 year old just finished telling me how she wants to be an Olympic swimmer!
during the school year, on school night, 100% set bedtimes…
but on the weekends and in the summer…forgetaboutit. hahah.
Unfortunately my kids seem to be getting to sleep later and later. My daughter who is only 11 goes to sleep after 11:00pm. She has never been a great sleeper. How do you force a child to fall asleep?
Ladies, you aren’t the only ones!
I’m male (I think?) and definitely never, ever go to bed at (1) a decent hour and (2) never stick to a routine for it either.