My heart soared when I heard her first cry in such a crazy and painful time. After 26 hours of labour with recurring fever, my little girl was born by caesarean section and came into this world with a loud "hello!". "Give me my baby" I thought to myself as I began to shake uncontrollably with shock and craned my neck to see her wee foot swaying in the air on the table aboveme. Why don’t they put that table in eyesight? A mother’s poor neck! "Give me my baby" I thought again but couldn’t hold her yet, in part due to the convulsive shaky my body was inflicting on me, and in part due to her visit to the NICU. I love this baby that I’ve not been able to see or hold, don’t make me explain it. It’s a physical love that was born with her.
It is weeks after her birth and I am sitting with her in the nursery, rocking her while she sleeps and
spending my ten thousandth hour watching her wee face and gently holding her tiny body. She stirs and I am preparing to help her softly to wakefulness. She begins her arm-swings and leg-stretches and her little brow wrinkles with confusion at this strange world. One thing changes in her waking routine however. As she is activating all limbs and opening her dark brown eyes she turns her face to gaze at me, I smile at her angelic face – and she smiles back! We look at each other for a few moments, soft smiles paused on our lips and she turns her head back to her pillow, her body relaxed once more and returns to sleep. I fell in love again as my tears of joy fall gently on her resting body, washing her with emotion that only a mother understands. My baby, my beautiful little baby.
This post was contributed by Tracey, an urbanmoms.ca member and mother to Quincy seen above. If you would like to share your story, please email me at jen@urbanmoms.ca.