Amazing Grace

I can’t help but be reminded of the iconic lyrics, “I once was blind, but now I see” from the song Amazing Grace. Odd, no? That it would be Grace to set me up on a blind date? Or am I just focusing on minutiae and trivial coincidences so that I don’t have to face up to the terrifying fear that is the prospect of A BLIND DATE???

**shivers**

Now, in many respects, this date is not, really, blind. First of all, the guy can see (more’s the pity, maybe!) Secondly, I have seen several pictures of him (thank you, Grace and your iPhone camera). Thirdly, I do know a fair bit about him, because Grace regales me with stories at every opportunity. Truly, he seems like a very nice man. And, based on the photographic evidence, he is nice enough looking as well. I know he has a good job, and he’s very good at it, because he is a colleague of Grace’s. It all seems perfect, no?

So why am I so freaking terrified to meet the man? Grace keeps reassuring me: “it’s just coffee we’re talking about Claire…not an arranged marriage!” And I know she’s right. How can it hurt to just meet the dude over a latte and idle chatter? It’s just, I don’t know. In a way, it feels pathetic. And I don’t like feeling pathetic. And I also wonder: what’s wrong with him? How is he 45 years old and never married? Is there some fatal flaw? Could he be – gasp – too nice? Is there such a thing? Am I following a tangent down a rat-hole to avoid thinking about the unthinkable?

Am I too scared to do this after all?

Maybe it’s a bit like pulling off a bandage or jumping into cold lake water: you just have to gird your loins, grit your teeth and get it over with quickly…you don’t draw out the pain unnecessarily. On the other hand, am I really ready to jump into this cold, dark lake without first checking it out? You know, to make sure there are no sharp rocks lurking just beneath the surface. 

Thing is: I keep telling myself I’m ready. I think about it often. I imagine myself out for dinner,  at the theatre, strolling through the park…all while enjoying good conversation and comfortable companionship with a man. But the problem is, you have to get through some scary sh*t before you get to the stage where you stroll comfortably in the park talking about the play you just saw. 

Oh. My. God. I’m not ready. 

Or am I? I know I want to be. But I’m so damn nervous!

Help? Any suggestions, advice, BTDT stories?