I wrote yesterday about our challenge with Cuyler and his behaviour on Saturday.
I told him Sunday that he wouldn’t be getting any vitamins and I showed him all he would be getting for the rest of the week. Just 3 capsules a day instead of 9.
He was good with that then excitedly exclaimed “It’s Sunday! It’s Milana’s birthday!”
I reminded him that I didn’t think he was going to be able to go because of his behaviour the day before. He looked me directly in the eyes and said “I’m going to have good behaviour today. I promise I’m going to be good at behaving.”
I reminded him that I didn’t think he was going to be able to go because of his behaviour the day before. He looked me directly in the eyes and said “I’m going to have good behaviour today. I promise I’m going to be good at behaving.”
**sigh**
The thought if him not going to the party gutted me. He needs those experiences but I don’t want his behaviour to interfere with another child’s birthday..
I told him we would see. I loathe having to go back on a decision. The party wasn’t until 5 so I would be able to get a feel for how he’d manage.
Turns out our Sunday was the complete opposite of our Saturday.
He was calm and happy in the morning. Around lunchtime we went to my friend’s place to see her gigantic pumpkins:
He also spent some quiet time by their stream watching the water babbling by. It seemed to soothe him.
From there Sean took Cam to hockey and I took Cuyler and Eva to the Autism Ontario family swim. There weren’t many there so it was a nice quiet swim. After that I dropped Eva off at Gramma and Grampa’s while Cuyler and I went shopping for a birthday present. Yes…I decided he should go. We went to WalMart and he was a gem. We went home and hung out together, just he and I.
We headed back to the pool for the party at 5pm. He swam and splashed with his classmates. Then it was time to eat. They had ordered pizza. Cuy and I talked beforehand about this. They wouldn’t have his special gfcf pizza there so he asked me to make him his chicken nuggets to eat there. And bring one of his gfcf brownies. I was proud he made those choices. However. Once the pizza arrived it was extremely difficult for Cuyler to be ok with his nuggets. He was trying SO hard not to cry. He was taking deep breaths. Kept whispering to himself “It’s ok. I’m alright.” He asked me through his tears to just take the cheese off. I told him he couldn’t eat the bread part of the pizza either. That was met with more quiet tears. He knew a meltdown would result in us leaving early. My heart was breaking for him. He was trying so hard to manage and he was doing an amazing job. I was so proud of him.
He wanted nothing to do with the nuggets. He asked me for the marinara dipping sauce that came with the pizza. I brought it to him thinking he was going to dip his plain Lays into them.
He also spent some quiet time by their stream watching the water babbling by. It seemed to soothe him.
From there Sean took Cam to hockey and I took Cuyler and Eva to the Autism Ontario family swim. There weren’t many there so it was a nice quiet swim. After that I dropped Eva off at Gramma and Grampa’s while Cuyler and I went shopping for a birthday present. Yes…I decided he should go. We went to WalMart and he was a gem. We went home and hung out together, just he and I.
We headed back to the pool for the party at 5pm. He swam and splashed with his classmates. Then it was time to eat. They had ordered pizza. Cuy and I talked beforehand about this. They wouldn’t have his special gfcf pizza there so he asked me to make him his chicken nuggets to eat there. And bring one of his gfcf brownies. I was proud he made those choices. However. Once the pizza arrived it was extremely difficult for Cuyler to be ok with his nuggets. He was trying SO hard not to cry. He was taking deep breaths. Kept whispering to himself “It’s ok. I’m alright.” He asked me through his tears to just take the cheese off. I told him he couldn’t eat the bread part of the pizza either. That was met with more quiet tears. He knew a meltdown would result in us leaving early. My heart was breaking for him. He was trying so hard to manage and he was doing an amazing job. I was so proud of him.
He wanted nothing to do with the nuggets. He asked me for the marinara dipping sauce that came with the pizza. I brought it to him thinking he was going to dip his plain Lays into them.
Instead he made his own pizza’s with his plain Lay’s. Chip pizza’s.
This kid…my god he just amazes me some days.
Wow. That is an amazing story. yay Cuy! and yay Mom!
This is amazing Christine. I’m proud of you and Cuy for “figuring things out”. It may not be the easy way but sometimes it ends up being the right way after all. Great strides. WOW! 🙂
A great trial and trial again moment Mommy
I certainly enjoyed his joy at the pool
crying at the chip pizzas…Cuy! Are you kidding me – what an amazing boy…….heart. melting.
I loved reading this. Cuyler is an amazing kid and those chip pizzas look delicious.
Yes Nanc – very often it is much bigger than he is.
I sat the entire time with bated breath waiting for him to blow his top – but my boy managed. He managed just fine!
And that’s interesting that you mentioned how busy the day was – I think that contributed to how well the day went. We had nothing on Saturday and I think boredom played a big role in the problems we had. Unlike his brother, Cuyler won’t sit and play videogames for hours on end if we let him (we don’t btw). Cuy is a busy boy. A mover. Therefore busy days tend to be his better days.
This is an unbelievable story. I could not breathe reading about him and the pizza worried he would blow his top. SOMETIMES it is just bigger than they are, right? Love his mini pizza’s. Resourcefullness is a cherished tool. He is amazing.
(by the way- your Sunday was very busy! Day of rest, not!)
I know, right?! I could see him sort of frantically looking for a solution and just assumed the dip was to…well…dip. But he was able to make him a snack as close to everybody else’s as he could…what a kid!
These are the posts I need to refer back to anytime we have a “Saturday” day.
T – it was the hardest thing to watch him struggle like that.
But if I don’t give him the opportunity to pull through problems – he never will.
Saying yes is an instant-easy but it only makes our struggles harder down the road.
Now the next time he’s at a party without his pizza, he won’t have that quiet meltdown, because he knows he’ll be ok 🙂
Days like that – his progress is shining through. He DID manage like a champ. And now he can reference back to that day and know he will be fine! That’s why the experiences are so important.
wow, blown away by him. chip pizzas? that’s a whole new snack he’s invented!
Wow. Well – That was worth the wait…
How the HELL did you not give in on the pizza!?!!? I mean, he “kept whispering to himself ‘It’s ok. I’m alright'”??? Pizza, popcorn, chips – anything you want buddy!
Lesson learned – Thanks Christine – Gotta stick to my guns more… seems to really pay off.
Oh gosh, lady… and he managed his way through it all like a champ! That’s AMAZING!! What a brave and wonderful boy you have… wow. You are a superstar too, Christine. Yes, you are. xox